Pi's T W I S T

Settling down…

2012-01-26T16:16:00.001+08:00

It’s almost the end of January. I’m done with all the back-to-school stuff except maybe for a few more additional payments here and there for a few families. The children seemed to have settled down including the ones in boarding schools or hostels.

Maya’s daughter who went to a fully residential school, initially called her mother during the first week, crying and asking for her mother to take her home, but during the CNY break, Maya told me that her daughter is okay now and in fact is beginning to enjoy the activities at the school.

As for Azman, Sofie’s son, after sending him to the culinary school, I will not make it a habit to visit him often although it’s just in Ipoh. I want him to become independent. Besides if need be, he can always call/SMS me, and if I feel that I should, then I’d go and see him. If I feel that what he’s asking for is something he can settle for himself, I shall let him settle it himself. I’m not here to spoil them rotten, I’m just helping them seek a brighter future for themselves so they can become independent. I do hope that Azman’s enthusiasm will continue until he completes the whole course and will not end up as hangat-hangat tahi ayam (google translated that as “warm-hot chicken droppings”).

Wina, Fuzi’s daughter, will be sitting for her SPM this year, and being someone who is keen to do well in her studies, had already arranged for tuition for herself. She is under our Education Sponsorship program, so the tuition fees will be covered by her sponsor. Her ambition is to become an accountant. I hope she will succeed. Wina is Fuzi’s hope to do well and to take care of her younger siblings should anything happen to Fuzi.

As I had always mentioned, our intention is to help these families become independent. I don’t intend to help them all their lives. In fact, although I still do keep in touch with Lin, I no longer visit her as often because I see that the family is doing okay now with 2 of her daughters already working. Yes, her 2 younger children are still under sponsorship but at least I don’t have to worry much about them.

Of course, there are families who, the more you help them, the more they become dependent on you even though your intention was to help them become independent. The K’s for example, would still from time to time attempt to borrow money although I never gave in. We only help out with their children’s educational needs, not anything else. Both of them are working – no doubt they don’t earn much, but still, they should spend according to their budget.

I still remember asking Hana to list down her children’s educational needs. She mentioned a few things in her list, stuff like books, bus fares etc, and at the end of her list, she wrote, “Motosikal RM2,500.” Errrk!

Then there was Rosnah, who bought a second hand car when her husband was still alive, so she could easily transport him to the hospital for his appointments. After her husband’s death, she wasn’t willing to part with the car. Okay, understandable. But just because we helped out with her daughter’s schooling needs, she asked if we could help out to pay for her car repairs.

Ah yes, sometimes you help them by giving, sometimes you help them by NOT giving. I just hope I will make the right decisions in determining whether or not to give.

Whatever it is, as coordinator for our Children Education Fund & Education Sponsorship, life is not so hectic for me as it was at the end of last year and early this year. It had however been quite a while since I went for my house visits, and since the schooling matters are almost settled, maybe I should start planning for my house visits - especially those whom I have not visited for quite some time.

BUT… before that, I shall first take a break… my kind of break… I shall go into adventure mode!! I already have some plans with my adventure loving friends over the weekend, so yep, coming right up….

On mak angkat mode for a day…

2012-01-16T21:56:00.001+08:00

After running my errands last Saturday, I realised there were 2 missed calls on handphone – both coming from Sofie. I suspected it had something to do with Azman’s culinary school as the lady from the school did mention earlier that the session for new students would probably start in mid Jan. True enough, when I called Sofie, I was told that Azman had just received a call from a lady asking him to report to the school on Monday.

Sofie asked how to go about as neither she nor Azman were familiar with Ipoh (except the hospital). I told Azman to take the bus to Ipoh – I’d fetch him from the bus station and send him to the culinary school. I did suggest to Sofie that maybe she too could come along so she could see the place herself, but after giving it some thought, Sofie felt she shouldn’t. She needed to send/fetch her 2 younger children to/from school. And if she came to Ipoh together with Azman, it would mean no nasi lemak business aka no income for the day. For someone who doesn’t earn much, missing out on a day’s sale of about RM30 to RM40 is a lot.

Azman promised to call me once the bus was nearing the bus station. He needed to go to the bank first to arrange for an ATM card and immediately after that’s done, he’d get on the bus to Ipoh.

I got to the bus station at about 10.25 am, and the bus Azman was on, arrived 5 minutes later. Immediately I brought him straight to the culinary school, in fact our timing was just nice. We didn’t have to wait long for the 1 hour briefing session starting at 11 am given by one of the management personnel. I am glad I attended the session, it opened my eyes to the wide career prospects for the students once they obtained their certificates. As a matter of fact, they could go on to diploma level if they performed well. I sat beside Azman during the briefing and I noticed he paid attention throughout. Obviously this is where his interest lies. I doubt he’d be paying attention in class had I forced him to continue schooling in form 4. He’d probably ponteng 3 out of the 5 days each week in school…

After the briefing, those who needed hostel accommodation were brought to the hostel. Students would need to pay RM150 per month for hostel, and since they’d be getting a fixed monthly allowance under the Tabung Kemahiran, they can use their allowance to pay for the hostel fee. Food however, is not inclusive.

Parents were allowed into the hostel today since it was registration day, and so yes, I did get to see Azman’s dorm. There were 8 beds in the dorm. One good thing is that there is a kitchen where the students are allowed to cook. Azman prefers to cook rather than buy out every day.

Anyway, there were quite a number of things Azman still needed to buy. He came today wearing the pair of shoes bought when I brought him shopping 2 weeks ago, but he didn’t bring along any slippers. He can’t be wearing the shoes for games, and definitely not to go to the toilet! He also needed pillow, bedsheet, trackbottom, sports shoes, necktie (the dress code for Mondays is smart-dressed, including neckties for the boys), socks (the only pair he brought was the one he was wearing & when he took off his shoes to enter his dorm, I noticed his socks had one big whole).

There were more induction sessions after 2 pm for the students, and I didn’t think there was enough time for me to bring him shopping for all those stuff during lunch break, so I just brought him to a nearby minimarket to buy a pair of slippers and a pail. I told him I’d come back after asar so I could bring him out to buy all the other necessities.

After zohor, I decided to buy some of the stuff first – the ones that didn’t require size measurements. Besides, I know Azman well enough to know that he’s not fussy in terms of colour or patterns, so I bought the pillow, bedsheet/pillowcase, blanket, socks and a necktie. That way, when I brought Azman out later, we didn’t have to spend so much time shopping.

When I went to fetch Azman at the hostel later, 2 of his new friends wanted to come along. The 2 boys needed to buy some stationeries and being from outstation like Azman, they too weren’t familiar with the area yet. So yep, no problem, I took them along.

Just like when I brought him shopping 2 weeks ago, shopping with Azman had always been easy. He’s not fussy, and knowing that if it was his mother who had to pay, he wouldn’t have most of the things anyway, Azman would usually just agree with whatever that I suggested. So we bought him a pair of trackbottom, a pair of shoes and some stationeries.

Only one thing is not settled yet. Apparently for the monthly allowance, he’d need to have an account with a particular bank. The one he has right now is from another bank. Being only 16 this year, he’d need his guardian to come along with him when he applies to open up an account with the bank. Knowing it would be troublesome for his mother to come all the way to Ipoh to open up the bank account, Azman confided with the officer at the culinary school. The officer said she’d try to call the bank to ask if I could be the one accompanying Azman for the opening of bank account. But then I figured, since there was mention that the school will be closed for the whole week next week, might as well Azman open up the account at his hometown, where it wouldn’t be too troublesome for Sofie to go to the bank with him.

After being on mak angkat mode for the day, I noticed Azman seemed eager and excited this time around. He promised me he’d make full use of the opportunity given to him. I truly hope he will try his very best to prove that my suggestion to send him to the culinary school was right.

Come on Azman, show us what you’re made of…

First clinic duty of the year… roped in a new volunteer!

2012-01-11T16:40:00.001+08:00

Done with my back-to-school stuff for the children from various families (well, most of them anyway), today was my first clinic duty for the year. I have already told the 2 volunteers who are supposed to join me for clinic duty, one of them is to join me every 2nd Wednesday of the month, while the other on the 4th Wednesday of the month. But today, the volunteer who was supposed to join me didn’t turn up and didn’t call or SMS me either. I think she was expecting me to remind her every time there’s clinic duty. Sorry lah, I have so many other things to remember, am not about to be her PA and remind her every single time…

The moment I got to the ID clinic today, I asked SN if she had managed to get hold of Jah’s husband. You see, on Monday SN called me up, asking me for the phone number of Jah’s husband. SN had been trying to call Jah’s old number, she never got through. As far as I know, Jah’s old number had not been in use ever since she got married to this guy. I so happened to have the husband’s number because recently just before Jah gave birth, he had been contacting me to seek help for a number of things (if you remember one of my earlier postings, he asked if I could be his kakak angkat), but he stopped contacting me after I told him our financial help was basically more for children education.

Anyway, according to SN, she tried the number I gave, and while the phone rang, nobody answered. After a few times, her calls didn’t get through at all. Probably he was avoiding SN as he knew SN wanted him to go to the hospital to get his wife’s supply of ARV. Ah well…

Today I also got to know about the death of an acquaintance. I had known this guy before through my NGO activities, and for the past few months he had been contacting me via SMS asking about various questions on HIV tests and treatments – where to get tested, what to do once he got the referral letter, how to get an appointment, etc. Apparently he had set an appointment at the ID clinic but he died before the date of his appointment due to some opportunistic diseases. And he’s still so young.

Back to my clinic duty, I had 3 cases referred to me today. The first case was a guy in his 30’s, married, 3 kids (the youngest just a few months old). He used to work as a security guard for some time until one day he was caught as a suspect in a murder case. He had to spend about a year or two in jail before he was finally acquitted. He then went back to work as a security guard at his old work place, but put back on probation. After a few months, at the end of his probationary period, he had to do a medical check-up. It was during this check-up he was found to be HIV+. And when the results of his medical tests were handed over to his manager, he was laid off from work.

Laid off because of HIV? Oh please, he’s only working as a guard, what danger could that cause to customers of the company? He hasn’t been working for a few months now, but according to him, his old boss is helping out to appeal to the management to take him back in, as HIV is not an excuse for him not to do his job well. He is after all, still strong and healthy. According to him, the latest that he heard was that there’s a 90% chance he may get his job back. I hope so too. I gave him our brochure & our number, since he didn’t want a buddy, he said he’d call us when he needs to consult us for anything.

The second case referred today was a young guy in his 20’s, just married last year. He found out about his HIV during his pre-marital mandatory testing. They went ahead with the marriage anyway, and when I asked if his wife’s family okay with his HIV status, he just said yes. It’s his family who aren’t aware of his HIV status.

Later after talking to him, I found out that although he himself is still not on ARV as his CD4 is still relatively quite high, his wife is already on ARV with a CD4 of 200+. Hmmmm… my guess is that during the mandatory testing, they were BOTH tested HIV +, and so of course his wife’s family had no objections whatsoever to their marriage. He too preferred not to be assigned any buddy, so again I just gave him our brochure so he could contact us when needed.

The third case today was another guy in his early 30’s. He seemed calm and very open. Apparently SN had spoken to him before and told him about us Buddies. After seeing him today, I found that he is more suitable as a volunteer rather than a client, and when I asked if he’d be interested to join as a volunteer, he immediately agreed. Good thing I had a membership form in my bag, and so he decided to fill in the form right away.

So although 3 new cases were referred to me today, there were no new clients. Instead, out of the three, we got a new volunteer! Yayyy!! We now have 5 PLHIVs as volunteers!

Visiting the orphan

2012-01-06T20:54:00.001+08:00

When I contacted Laila’s aunt during the school holidays to ask if I could bring Laila out to buy her schooling needs, I was told that Laila was at her paternal grandparents home in another state. The aunt then informed me that they would buy/pay first Laila’s schooling necessities, just like Laila’s mother, Shila, did when she was alive. I decided to wait until school reopened before contacting them again to get the full list of payments.

Yesterday being the second day of this year’s schooling, I went to visit the family. I had informed the aunt the day before via text message informing her about my visit, and telling her to prepare the list of Laila’s schooling expenses. Knowing that Laila goes to school in the morning, I decided to visit in the afternoon, so I could meet Laila personally and see for myself how the girl is coping ever since her mother’s death just before the last Ramadhan.

When I got to their house, Laila’s aunt greeted me and invited me in. She’s the one who had been replying all my text messages, but whenever I visit, she’d let Laila’s grandma do all the talking. So yes, the moment I got in, she called her mother, Laila’s grandma. Alhamdulillah, the grandma looked healthy, still selling kuih in the mornings to earn some extra income for the family.

I didn’t see Laila at first. According to the grandma, Laila went out for a while as she needed to photocopy some school related stuff. But she didn’t take too long. After a few minutes, she walked in. Still the small-framed girl (you wouldn’t think she’ll be sitting for her UPSR this year), and still smiling as sweetly as she had always been doing whenever I visited, just like when her mother was still alive.

Laila had spent almost a month at her paternal grandparent’s house. Some of her schooling stuff, like uniforms & shoes, had been bought by her paternal grandma. Financially, the paternal family are better off (although they aren’t that rich either), and they did offer to take care of Laila when Shila passed away last July, but Laila had been brought up at her maternal grandma’s house all her life. Having to cope with her mother’s death is one thing, having to cope at a new place altogether would be even tougher. Laila was the one who insisted she wanted to stay with her maternal family.

With her uniforms and shoes already paid by her paternal grandma, the amount I had to reimburse the family yesterday wasn’t as much as the other children under sponsorship. I did inform them last year that Laila’s sponsorship would also cover her tuition if they decided to send her for tuition, so yes, right on the first day of school, they had already arranged tuition for 3 subjects for Laila – English, Maths and Science. I was actually expecting that the cost would come up to a total of at least RM100, but was told that the monthly fee is RM15, plus another RM10 for each subject. That’s a total of RM45 per month for all three subjects. Whoa, that’s pretty cheap! There shouldn’t be a problem at all for the amount to be covered under the sponsorship fund.

It was good to see Laila coping well with life without her mother. I do hope she’ll be able to improve on her studies…

Another round of shopping & a round of nasi lemak

2012-01-03T22:03:00.002+08:00

Hmmm…. I said earlier I was done with my back-to-school shopping, no? Did I miss any kid that I had to do another round of shopping this morning?

Well, this one wasn’t so much of a back-to-school shopping, but a going-to-culinary-school shopping for Azman, Sofie’s son. If you recall, Azman had wanted to quit school after his PMR and start working. But I managed to coax him to join a culinary school instead, seeing his interest in cooking. He agreed. And after arranging this and that, I finally managed to secure a place for him at a culinary school, paid for the registration etc, just waiting for them to call for the start of the semester for the next cohort.

Meanwhile, I needed to bring Azman to buy some stuff before he goes off to the culinary school. I asked the lady at the school earlier about their dress code and was told that for certain occasions, he’d need to wear shirt and slacks, while certain classes he can wear collared t-shirts. In addition, he needs to wear shoes. No sandals, no slippers. I asked Azman if he had any of those. He has 2 pairs of collared t-shirts – that’s it! Other than his school shoes and uniforms, he’d usually be wearing round-neck t-shirts and faded jeans with sandals or slippers.

Yesterday I told Sofie to make sure Azmi gets ready before 10 am – I’d be fetching him to bring him shopping. I got to the town just before 10 am, and on the way to their house, I noticed Azman was with Sofie at her nasi lemak stall. So I didn’t have to go to their house after all (the house wasn’t that far anyway). Sofie’s 2 younger kids were at home. Great, I thought, I had wanted to have a one-to-one talk with Azman, without any of his younger siblings tagging along.

So off we went to a nearby supermarket. On the way, I asked him again if he really, really wanted to go to the culinary school. His mother is afraid he may go through it halfway and quit, because he had always been fickle-minded in school matters before. I think I probably am more confident in him than his own mother – Sofie based it on Azman’s previous fickle-mindedness while I based it on Azman’s interest in culinary matters.

Me: Makcik dah bayar duit pendaftaran, duit uniform semua dah. Jangan nanti tiba-tiba separuh jalan gatal nak berhenti pulak.

Azman: Tak, saya belajar sampai habis.

Me: Janji?

Azman: Janji!

He’d better make good his promise…

Anyway, the supermarket just opened when we got there. Immediately we headed to the gent department. First up, to get 2 pairs of slacks, black in colour. Well, Azman is rather chubby, but short. So we just chose the sizes based on his waist, the length can be shortened later. The old mechanical sewing machine that I gave to them some time ago is still working, so either Sofie or Azman himself can adjust the length later at home. Then 2 pairs of collared t-shirts, followed by 2 pairs of shirts. Finally, a pair of shoes. All done is just about half an hour because Azman himself isn’t the fussy type, unlike his 2 younger siblings. Anything too expensive, he’d just put back, and when I asked him to choose the shoes, he just opted for the cheaper pair. 2 pairs of slacks, 2 pairs of shirts, 2 pairs of collared t-shirts, and one pair of shoes = RM240. Just about the average amount spent for the other children’s back-to-school shopping earlier.

By the time we headed back to Sofie’s stall, she was already packing up with her daughter Ika helping her out. It was about 10.45 am by then and according to Sofie, usually by that time there wouldn’t be any more customers. So although there were still some more nasi lemak, she usually packs up at before 11 am. I decided to stop so that Azman could help as well. Just then one last customer came to buy 2 nasi lemak and so Ika & Azman helped to pack the 2 nasi lemak at RM1 each – a cup of rice, some sambal, kacang goreng, cucumber and a small piece of ikan masin.

Anyway, since I was there, I offered to carry the big umbrella in my car. Usually they’d bring it home on her motorbike. I got to their house first together with Azman. Saiful was just about getting ready to go to the stall to help pack up. Just a few minutes later Sofie got home together with Ika. I immediately said to Ika, “Nasi lemak satu!” “Kejap,” she replied, “nanti bagi special punya!”

So yeah, I got my nasi lemak special – served in a plate, with stainless steel fork & spoon, extra sambal, one whole egg, and a glass of ice drink to add. Not bad… no wonder people like to order from her… either nasi lemak or whatever kuih.

Unlike the other customers who had to pay RM1 for each pack of nasi lemak, I got my nasi lemak special for free….

BUT…

at the end of it, I actually passed to Sofie RM200 donated by a blog reader, so the nasi lemak special was worth RM200 for her. Only thing was, I was the one who got to eat the nasi lemak instead of the donor… :)

2011 in pictures

2011-12-30T12:40:00.001+08:00

2011 had been quite an eventful year for me – in my voluntary work, in my personal life and also in activities with my school alumni friends.

In my voluntary work with Buddies, after re-elected as the chairperson in March, it was activities after activities other than the regular clinic duties and visits to my clients’ homes.

There were the exhibitions…

Men Against Violence campaign in Chenderong in April

Talk & exhibition in Royal College of Medicine Perak, also in April

At Kg Ulu Geroh (Orang Asli village) in October

And in Taman Meru also in October

Then there was the charity run in May where I ended up injuring my knee, but still managed to personally collect a total of RM4,700.

We had our Family Day in July at The Roots, Tg Rambutan

I attended the National AIDS Conference in Penang in October

and then we had a briefing for my fellow volunteers in November on the latest in the world of HIV

And finally, our annual dinner in December at Assam House Restaurant, Medan Gopeng.

On the personal side, involving family matters, there were a few downside, like the “atap terbang” incident at home during a storm in March (thank God nobody got hurt)

And in May the shocking news of my cousin’s 11 year old son who perished in the landslide at the orphanage in Hulu Langat.

Of course, there were happy moments as well, like my niece’s wedding in March

and my nephew’s engagement in June.

Not forgetting, my RM0 airfare trip to Ho Chi Minh City in February with my sister and my niece.

And of course, there were activities involving my school alumni members, whether official activities, or just unofficial activities with friends.

Playing hockey with the under-50 team against the school under-15 team… :-)

Chairing the committee elections during the OGA AGM in July

And the unofficial Jalan-jalan Cari Penat activities with felllow adventure loving friends…

Spelunking in Gua Tempurung in July

Enjoying outdoor adventures in Belum-Temenggor in September…

the boat rides

trekking up the lookout tower 4,011 feet above sea level

trekking to the Rafflesia site

enjoying the cool waterfall

visiting an Orang Asli village

kayakking around the island

Then later in November, we went for the canopy walk at FRIM…

Many more activities lined up for 2012 insyaAllah, involving Buddies, family and school friends…

The children…

2011-12-28T20:20:00.001+08:00

Done with my back-to-school shopping, I had to update the sponsorship account and prepare the individual statements for all the sponsored children. After that I needed to send the statements to the various sponsors so I could ask them to remit, if they agree to, the sponsorship amount for 2012. However, there were a few sponsors who didn’t bother to wait for me to send the statements, they simply banked in the amount into our bank account.

With 4 of the 32 sponsored children completing their SPM/SPVM in 2011, there should be 28 left to continue under the sponsorship programme. Another one, a 14 year old HIV+ girl, orphaned since baby and had been staying with her maternal grandma all the while, had ran off to stay with her paternal grandparents. So we have to discontinue sponsorship for her as we are not in touch with her paternal grandparents. That leaves 27.

Azman, Sofie’s son decided to stop schooling after his PMR so he could work, but seeing that his interest lies in cooking, I managed to coax him to join a culinary school. So he’s out of the sponsorship programme as well, leaving 26.

The 26 almost became 25 as I was not able to get in touch with an Orang Asli client of mine. My calls didn’t get through, and my text messages were never replied either. Visit her at home? I’d need a 4WD to be able to reach her house.

However, during my clinic duty today, as I was about to go over to the doctor’s room, I heard someone shouting, “Kak Ros! Kak Ros!” Definitely not calling me, or so I thought, but I turned anyway to see who it was because the lady’s voice sounded so familiar. Indeed it was. The lady who was calling for Kak Ros was Wan, the Orang Asli lady whose son is under our sponsorship programme. And the person she called Kak Ros was…. ME!!! Erk? I certainly wasn’t aware of any attempts to change my name to Kak Ros…

“Akak! Lama tak cakap dengan akak, rindu! Nombor saya dah tukar kak! Nah Kak Ros ambil nombor baru saya.”

“Nama akak bukan Ros lah, nama akak Afizah.”

“Oh ye ke? Hihihihi…”

She had never called me by name before, usually she just calls me akak. Probably all the while she thought my name was Ros although I can’t for the life of me figure out where she got that name from. Like someone mentioned on my FB wall, maybe she had been watching too much of Upin & Ipin (there’s a garang Kak Ros in that story). Wan’s son got 4B and 1C for his recent UPSR and will be going to a secondary school for Orang Asli children.

Other than the sponsored children, many other children of our clients are covered under our Children Education Fund (CEF). For CEF, we only cover for their back-to-school expenses and if needed, their monthly bus fares. We don’t cover for pocket money and tuition. Thank goodness we managed to get more funds for CEF this year, since many more children from poor families needed schooling help.

While I’m done with the children’s back-to-school shopping, my next task now is to list down the children needing bus fares, and also the sponsored children’s monthly pocket money and other expenses. It will be much easier if the money is transferred via monthly standing instructions to the various clients’ bank accounts so that I don’t have to worry about doing it manually every month. That way, I don’t have to worry about being late either.

Once I settle all these, I should be able to go back to my normal routine…

Of shopping & home visit…

2011-12-24T21:29:00.001+08:00

After 5 rounds of back-to-school shopping covering 32 children, yesterday I brought 2 more children from 2 families – Rosnah’s daughter and Zainab’s 2 girls… hopefully that would be the last for this year. A few other families agreed to buy first and I’d reimburse them later. The only one family I’m not too sure yet if I need to bring them shopping is Hasnah’s. She did mention earlier that she may be coming to Ipoh at the end of the month and I told her to bring her children along so we could go buy their schooling needs. So far she hasn’t called me yet to confirm if indeed she’s coming. Otherwise I may need to call her within the next few days.

On my way home after yesterday’s shopping spree, I decided to call Sofie to find out if she had managed to get the school leaving cert for her son Azman. Since Azman is applying for a course at a culinary school, and he is only going to turn 16 next year, the school leaving cert is required to enable him to apply for the Tabung Pendidikan Kemahiran. I was told that we needed to settle things soon if we wanted to make sure Azman gets a place at the school since places are limited. According to Sofie, the teacher told her to come and get the proper leaving cert on 4th Jan when school reopens, but for the moment she has a copy of the notification indicating that she had already submitted the letter regarding the matter.

I figured I’d better just get a copy of that letter to be submitted to the culinary school, hopefully they will accept that for the time being before getting the proper school leaving cert later. I was told to pay the registration fee as soon as possible to guarantee Azman of a place.

So this afternoon, off I went to visit Sofie. And since it is almost the end of the month, I stopped by a grocery shop first to get supplies of groceries for Sofie’s family using the funds that I’ve been getting regularly from friends meant for the poor families under my care. When I got to their home, Azman, excited about getting into the culinary school, was the first to come out and greet me… and helped to unload the groceries from my car. I took the opportunity to remind him again not to waste the opportunity given to him. For the moment I don’t see any problems with Azman, despite being a bit cheeky, he is quite a responsible boy and respects people, especially elders.

Sofie’s problem now is her eldest son, Azlan who had completed his SPM. He now works part time at a small factory but what Sofie can’t stand is the fact that Azlan always goes out at night with girls and comes home very late, after midnight. I have to admit, Azlan is quite good looking, and so although he doesn’t have much money, girls do like him. The particular girl who he has been going out with, according to Sofie, has money and so she’s the one paying whenever they go out anywhere at night.

Sofie has been nagging to him, to no avail. Azlan doesn’t listen to his mother. Sofie was hoping I could talk to Azlan, but every time I visit, he’s never around. According to Sofie, Azlan seems to become more and more like his father, who was known as quite a cassanova during his prime. I do hope Azlan will come to his senses soon. Hopefully after his SPM results are out, we’d be able to arrange for him to take up an automotive course somewhere (other than girls, his interest lies in automotive stuff, that we know) and hopefully he’d be kept busy when pursuing the course.

There was an additional character in Sofie’s house today. I didn’t realise there was somebody else at home until Sofie told me about the boy. Nizam, now 18, has skin disease all over his body, according to him since young. His parents didn’t really care about him and couldn’t be bothered to bring him to get regular treatments. Nizam only went to school up to form 2 – always getting teased and bullied because of the condition of his skin. A month ago, due to whatever problems at home, his mother ran away, taking whatever documents with her, including Nizam’s identity card. Nizam’s other family members are not bothered at all about Nizam’s wellbeing.

He had been trying to get a job which doesn’t require academic qualification to support himself, but to no avail. Azman, who can easily get jobs working at food stalls etc, tried to recommend Nizam, but the moment the potential employers saw his skin condition, nobody wanted to take him in.

So guess what? Sofie took pity on him and allowed him to stay at her rented house, together with her 4 children.

“Saya nak tanggung bagi dia duit, saya tak mampu kak, tapi sekadar nak kongsi makan apa yang kami makan, takde masalah,” Sofie said to me.

Sofie asked if I could find a way to help Nizam, especially in getting him an appointment with a skin specialist. Apparently a few months back, Azman took him to a clinic, and the doctor at the clinic gave him a referral letter for him to go to Ipoh GH to see a specialist. But Nizam has no money to go to Ipoh, and Sofie couldn’t afford to help him out either.

All the while when Sofie told me Nizam’s story, Nizam just stayed in the room, too shy to come out. Sofie then called him and asked him to come out and meet me. It took quite a while before Nizam finally came out, wearing a long sleeved t-shirt to cover his arms. Well, I could still see the skin problems on his hands and his face.

I told him to get his identity card done first. Since his IC was with his mother and nobody seemed to know where his mother is now, I told him to report his IC as lost and to go make a new one. I’d try to help out with the fine involved, as I know he won’t be able to pay. Sofie doesn’t mind paying if it’s only RM10, but not if it’s more than that.

With the referral letter to take him to the hospital already available, I wouldn’t have to go out of my way to get an appointment for him. But surely they’d need him to produce his IC when I bring him to the hospital. So yes, might as well get his IC problem settled first. At least a temporary IC.

Whatever it is, I am proud of Sofie. Despite not really getting enough to make ends meet each month, she was still willing to feed another mouth at her home…

Back-to-school shopping : Round 5 (3 in 1)

2011-12-22T12:40:00.002+08:00

Done with back-to-school shopping for 21 kids, yesterday I decided to get 3 families from northern Perak to gather at a supermarket in Taiping – 11 children altogether from the 3 families… Ashraf’s 3 children, Rahimi’s 4 children and Maya’s 4 children. Interestingly, out of the 11 children, there was only one boy, Ashraf’s youngest 10 year old (who looked more like a 7 or 8 year old child because of his size). Ashraf & Rahimi themselves didn’t come, Ashraf had to work while Rahimi, when I called last week, was hospitalised. So their wives came with the children. I had never met them before though, so I just told them to meet me near the escalator at the main entrance of the shopping complex and I made sure I had their numbers saved in my handphone.

Immediately after my zuhr prayer, off I headed to Taiping. Managed to get to the shopping complex within an hour, and just as I got to the main entrance I saw Maya and her 4 girls. We still had to wait for the other 2 families. I then decided to call Samsiah, Rahimi’s wife. She said she was on the way. Next, Ashraf’s wife, Siti. Just as I was looking for her phone number, she called! “Akak yang pakai baju warna kelabu tu ye? Saya kat atas ni!” I looked up to the first floor and saw a lady waving. Okay, so 2 families already there. I just sent a text message to Samsiah, telling her that I’d be waiting at the first floor near the trolleys.

Samsiah finally got there 10 minutes late. I thought she came by bus, but apparently she and her children came by car, a relative of hers helped to send them there. It was only then I found out that Rahimi had passed away the week before, 2 days after I called to arrange for the children’s back-to-school shopping.

Anyway, we started shopping at 3.10 pm. I just told the mothers what they were entitled to and then I just let them choose the schooling stuff for their children. Siti only had to help out her son with the uniforms etc. Her 2 older girls were big enough to choose on their own without their mother’s help. Maya’s children didn’t have to choose any uniforms as their mother had already sewn their uniforms herself. She only claimed the amount she paid for the materials.

A few of the children were quite choosy, complaining about the materials… kasar sangat… licin sangat… etc. According to Siti, usually she’d have to bring them to a few different places to get the stuff that they really wanted. And in addition to that, they couldn’t afford to buy everything at one go, so usually they’d buy their schooling stuff in stages.

But yesterday, they didn’t have the chance to go elsewhere to choose their stuff, just pick whatever was available there. Not if they wanted me to pay anyway. Siti got worried when each bill came up to over RM500, except Maya’s because she didn’t have to buy uniforms. She was afraid that her children may have spent over the budget. I told her not to worry as it was still within the budget of RM200 – RM250 per child.

With the mothers using the “cepat sikit pilih, kesian makcik tunggu lama” excuse, we managed to complete yesterday’s shopping spree at 4.35 pm – that’s less than 2 hours. I had enough time to get back to Ipoh for my asar prayer!

3 more girls for another round of back-to-school shopping this Friday!

Back-to-school shopping : Round 4 (5 in 1)

2011-12-15T18:30:00.002+08:00

As mentioned in my previous posting, I had arranged for 12 children from 5 families staying within the same district to meet up with me at a particular supermarket at 10 am today to shop for the children’s schooling needs. So after withdrawing some cash this morning, off I headed to the supermarket. I got there 10 minutes before 10 am… didn’t see any familiar faces at that time so I remained in the car for a few minutes.

Closing in to 10 am, I got out of my car and waited outside the main entrance. The first 2 families to come were Rin’s and Mrs K’s… they came together – Rin with 2 primary school children (1 boy & 1 girl) and Mrs K’s 3 girls – one going to be in form 5, one standard 4 and the youngest going to kindergarten. Seeing that I was already there, and thinking she was late, Rin immediately hugged me… “Orang dah buat salah ni, kena mintak ampun siap-siap.” Actually she was punctual, I was the one who was early.

Immediately after that I saw Nuri and her 2 girls – forms 5 and 2. However the younger girl, who is also HIV+, despite already going into form 2, is so small you could easily mistake her for a primary school girl. Like last year, her secondary school sarong couldn’t be bought at the supermarket. Her mother would have to sew for her.

Seeing that Lin and Imran weren’t there yet, I told the 3 ladies to grab their own trolleys, go in first and choose the schooling needs for their children; and get back to me if they had anything to ask or if they were ready to check out. I then sent text messages to Lin and Imran telling them I was already at the supermarket, then I went in to join the 3 ladies.

Lin got there a few minutes later. After 20 minutes, seeing that Imran was not there yet, I gave Imran a call. After a few rings, he answered… he just walked in the main entrance to the supermarket, together with his wife and 3 children. Finally I got to meet his wife. I did say I’d visit them at home but simply couldn’t find the time to visit them yet.

So yeah, I just let the mothers help out the children in picking their schooling needs. Not much problem, except Mrs K’s little girl (yes, Baby K’s already going to kindergarten next year) who was sulking because she didn’t get to choose anything for herself yet (she only needed shoes and bag but during the earlier part of the shopping Mrs K was concentrating on getting the uniforms for her 2 other girls). And when the time came to buy her a pair of school shoes, she insisted on putting the shoe box that she had grabbed into the trolley without even trying out the size first. Of course Mrs K used the usual scare-the-kids tactic of “Nanti makcik fizah marah mak tak tau…”

Anyway, the first family ready to check out was Nuri’s. Even after I finished paying for her children at the counter, the other families weren’t ready yet. I then accompanied Nuri to my car. I had some reference books for SPM, PMR and UPSR which I managed to collect from friends late last month when I went for the Canopy Walk at FRIM. Nuri’s form 5 daughter gladly chose the SPM reference books for herself. She had wanted to ask her mother to buy some reference books, not knowing that I had brought along some with me.

Done with that, I went back in. The other families didn’t know that I went out to pass some books to Nuri’s daughter… I wonder what they’d do if they found the tukang bayar missing… hehehe…

The other 4 families got all their stuff almost immediately after one another. So there at the cashier for the back-to-school section, were 4 trolleys full of stuff queuing up, separate receipts for each trolley, but with the same person paying for everything. The cashier must be wondering who this Makcik Kaya was… taking out cash from her bag each time paying between RM320 to RM500 for each family. First in the queue was Mrs K, followed by Rin, then Imran and finally Lin. It was Lin’s daughter who told me that once everything was paid, just bring the receipt to the free gift counter to collect some free gifts. There were free gifts for purchases of minimum RM50 in a single receipt. All the receipts were definitely more than that!

So yep, after paying for all of them, we went to the free gift counter, got a 2012 calendar for each receipt (total 5 calendars) and depending on how much was spent on school shoes for each receipt, there were also water containers as free gift. Since Nuri had gone back by then, I took the calendar for her receipt while the 2 water containers from that receipt were handed over to Imran’s wife for her children.

I then told them about the books in my car. Lin’s daughter took the PMR books while the UPSR books went to Ali’s daughter.

As I was leaving the place, I took a look at my watch… it was 12.02 pm. Hmmmm…. not bad… I managed to complete today’s mission in 2 hours.

A few more families to cover. To be continued next week…

Cerita-ceriti sana-sini…

2011-12-14T21:19:00.001+08:00

Lin sent me a text message on Sunday asking if her children would still be getting any assistance for their schooling needs. Last 2 years I took her 2 younger children out shopping but I had been quite busy this year with so many additions to the list of children needing schooling assistance, it had been some time since I last contacted Lin.

Knowing that I may not have the time to bring all the families out separately as I usually did in previous years, I figured this year I’d try something I had never done before – get a few families to shop together at the same place at the same time, especially those from out of Ipoh.

So I decided on a supermarket in a town easily accessible to a few families within the same district and sent out text messages to Nuri, Rin, Mrs K and Lin. They all agreed to bring their children and meet me at the supermarket on Thursday at 10 am.

Then last night, I received a text message from Imran, asking me how to get help for his children’s schooling. I’ve met Imran before at the hospital but I’ve already assigned him to another volunteer. He had already bought his children’s uniforms using the RM100 per child received from the government, but there were so many things they still needed and his small business had not been doing too well of late, mainly because of his poor health. In fact, he had not been paying his rental for the past 3 months.

Since Imran stays in the same district as the other clients I’m taking for their back-to-school shopping on Thursday, I told Imran to bring his children to the same place at the same time.

So yep, on Thursday I’ll be doing some back-to-school shopping for 12 children from 5 families. God help me please…

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On Monday I received a call from an unfamiliar number. It was actually from a public phone. And the caller was Jah’s husband (yeah, the same guy I mentioned in my blog posting on 5th December). He told me Jah had delivered their baby, not in Ipoh but in Teluk Intan. I was quite surprised really, I didn’t even know until last week that Jah was pregnant, and suddenly this week she had already delivered. And in Teluk Intan? Jah usually comes for her appointments in Ipoh (she stays in another town, neither Ipoh nor Teluk Intan) and so I was wondering why they sent her to this other hospital. “Yang jumpa doctor untuk sakit satu lagi tu pun dah tukar Teluk Intan ke?” I asked. I assumed the husband would know about her appointments in Ipoh. “Sakit satu lagi? Apa benda?” he asked. Alamak, I didn’t dare say anything further. The line got cut off anyway as Jah’s hubby ran out of coins for the public phone. But later at night he sent me a text message to say that Jah had delivered a baby boy.

I was on clinic duty this morning and so I decided to ask SN about Jah. SN knew Jah was pregnant but was surprised herself when I told her that Jah had already delivered in Teluk Intan. According to SN, when Jah went for her pregnancy test at the district hospital in the town where she stays, they referred her to Teluk Intan instead of Ipoh. But she still comes to Ipoh for her appointment at the ID clinic. It would have been much easier for the departments (O&G and ID clinic) to liaise with each other if Jah went to the same hospital instead of 2 different hospitals.

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Reading the status updates of a few friends on FB about their children getting offers to fully residential schools, I decided to check on Maya’s daughter. Maya told me that they had received the SMS from MOE informing her that her daughter got a place in a residential school in Perak but they’d have to go online to accept the offer first. They don’t have internet access at home, so getting online meant having to go to a cyber cafe or a friend’s house with internet access. Since I was already online when I called Maya, I offered to do so for them and asked her to SMS me her daughter’s UPSR index number which is required when we check the offer status online.

Maya immediately sent me her daughter’s index number and IC number as well. I guess she wasn’t too confident when I told her I only needed the index number. I immediately went to the MOE website and accepted the offer on their behalf. Now they’d need to wait for the official letter from the ministry.

Am so happy that finally one of “my children” gets offered to go to a fully residential school. I hope the new school will provide a better environment for her to excel in her studies. All the best to you girl! Don’t you worry about your schooling expenses… you’re still under our education sponsorship programme.

Back-to-school shopping : Round 3

2011-12-07T21:30:00.001+08:00

When I called Aini last week to ask her when I could take her children for their back-school-shopping, I was told the boys followed their uncle to KL and would only be back over the weekend. And since her appointment at the hospital was on Tuesday, I told her I’d fetch her and her kids on Wednesday afternoon.

Today after my lunch and prayer, off I went to fetch them. This time, only 2 out of Aini’s 3 kids came along. Her eldest daughter was home when I went to fetch them today, but this time she didn’t follow us as she has one more SPVM paper to sit for tomorrow.

So it was just me, Aini and her 2 boys. The boys, going into forms 1 and 3 respectively, were rather shy. Unlike the other kids who’d grab the opportunity to get themselves everything new, these 2 boys would only take the things they felt they really needed. From the 3 families I’ve taken shopping so far, these 2 took the least stationeries. As a matter of fact, according to Aini, the older boy asked her earlier, “Apasal makcik Afizah pulak yang tolong belikan barang sekolah? Seganlah mak…” Aini just told him that we’re an NGO helping out single mothers.

NGO for single mothers? You see, none of Aini’s family members know that Aini and her late husband were HIV+. Her children knows she has health problems, but since Aini has various ailments including kidney problems, they never question her. And since I know the children aren’t aware of their mother’s HIV status, I never mention the word when they are around. Aini would still tell me about her appointments at the hospital etc, but without ever mentioning HIV or AIDS.

The family now survives on welfare aid of RM300 a month. Previously, Aini used to babysit a neighbour’s child and got paid RM200 per month, but according to her, the child’s mother had quit her job and no longer sends the child to Aini. So, RM200 less income for Aini now. She still needs all the help she can get.

Her eldest daughter plans to get a temporary job after her SPVM. I asked Aini if her daughter had any courses in particular she’s interested to pursue once results are out. I was told she’s very much interested in tourism management.

So I got home and surfed the net to find out more about the available courses and colleges. Hmmm…. there’s one in Ipoh which offers the course as well. I just hope she will at least get the minimum required results to take up the course.

Jangan over la brader…

2011-12-05T22:00:00.001+08:00

Remember Jah? Despite what she had to go through in her life before (she lost her 1st husband and son within just months – and to add to that after her husband’s death she also found out she had HIV), Jah had always been the happy-go-lucky type of person; always the live-wire in any of our activities, particularly our annual Family Day.

That was until she remarried. Jah did talk to me about her boyfriend then (who was free from HIV) and my question to her had always been whether the boyfriend knew she was HIV positive. Apparently he knew, yet he still wanted to marry her. Jah was of course excited.

Ok then, it was their choice, nobody could stop them. So yes, they got married. And ever since then, I had never been able to contact Jah by phone. She no longer lived with her mother, whose house I used to visit, but went to stay with her husband at her mother-in-law’s house. We were no longer able to call her to join us for our Family Day. The only time I got to speak to her was when I’d bump into her at the hospital during her appointments which coincidentally happened to be on the same day as my clinic duty.

The last time I saw Jah was some time in April this year. She was waiting for her turn to see the doctor. I did ask for her latest phone number, but she told me she didn’t have any. So I informed her about all our planned activities and gave her my number so that she could call me if she was interested to join any of the activities. She seemed very interested but told me she’d need to go home and seek her husband’s permission first. Jah also asked for Shila’s phone number. Shila used to be her best friend before Jah remarried. But even Shila complained about Jah no longer keeping in touch with her. Shila in fact, didn’t even know Jah got married until I told her about it.

Despite taking down our phone numbers, Jah never did call me or Shila.

When I met Shila after this year’s Family Day in The Roots, Tg Rambutan, she did mention to me about Jah’s husband who kept sending her text messages, wanting to befriend her, telling her he wanted to marry her etc. Urggh, this guy must be sick! Whenever I met Jah after her marriage, the only person she’d be complaining about would be her mother-in-law who didn’t seem to like her, but Jah always had praises for her husband whom to her was “a very loving husband”. Of course, she didn’t know that the loving husband she had, had been trying to tackle her own best friend.

According to Shila, she did tell him off, but from time to time, he’d still try to contact her. I’m not too sure if he knew about Shila’s death just before Ramadhan this year; I had never been able to inform Jah about it as I didn’t know how to. Maybe her husband did find out – who knows, maybe he did send his SMS to Shila’s phone number which is now held by her mother/sister. Maybe the mother/sister replied the message telling him that Shila had passed on. I don’t know for sure.

Anyway, today out of the blue a text message came in on my handphone from an unfamiliar number:

"Askm akak Afizah sy nak betaya ni masa sy nati nk buat sorat beranak anak sy nak macm mana cara ya n ape dokte mita n berape bayaran kus buat sorat beranak n berape kus pebayaran kuluar dari hopita iteri sy nati n akak sy tak pernah melalui macm ni lg akak tolong lg bg tahu"

I had to reread the message to comprehend what the sender was trying to say. Whoever sent that message was actually asking me how to register for his child’s birth cert when the time comes, what would the doctor be asking for, how much would be the cost to get the birth cert, and what would be the costs when the wife gets discharged from the hospital.

The first thing I was trying to figure out was… who the hell was the sender of the message? A husband of someone who’d soon be giving birth… but I simply couldn’t recall any of clients being pregnant. So I replied the message to ask, “Siapa ni?”

It was only after that did he explain he was Jah’s husband. Well, I did reply his earlier queries. Then came his reply, thanking me for the info and asking “boleh ke sy nak mejadi adik akad akak itu pun kut akak sudi” (based on the spellings he had been using in his messages, he probably meant adik angkat, but the irony of it… adik AKAD??)

Allo brader! Jangan la over!!

I decided not to reply his last message. I remembered Shila telling him off and it didn’t stop him from contacting her. For the moment I think I’ll just use the “no response” tactic first. If he sends me another message, even to seek help for his wife, I’ll tell him to get his wife to contact me direct. After all, I’m his wife’s buddy, not his!

But right now what I need to do is to check with SN about Jah. I never heard about her being pregnant. SN or the other nurses at the HIV clinic never mentioned anything about it to me either. If Jah really is pregnant, those at the HIV clinic need to know so they can take necessary precautions to avoid transmission of HIV to the child…

Back-to-school shopping : Round 2

2011-12-02T18:25:00.001+08:00

Done shopping with Sofie’s children on Wednesday, yesterday I went to fetch Fuzi and her children. I promised to fetch them at home around 2.30 pm. Got there right on time, and as always, they were ready waiting in front of their house, doors already locked, all set to go. Iwan, the youngest, got to sit in front with his mom, while his other 4 siblings had to squeeze themselves at the back in my Kenari.

This time Iwan was more excited than usual. Usually the only excitement he got during the back-to-school shopping was the ride in the car, the running around he got to do at the hypermarket, and the makan-makan I’d treat them to after shopping. This time, he’d get to choose some schooling stuff for himself as he’d be going to a kindergarten next year.

When we got to the hypermarket, I immediately brought them direct to the back-to-school promotion section. Found myself a bench and sat there while Fuzi & her kids chose whatever needed. Her 2 older girls were able to choose for themselves but her boys needed assistance. Fuzi wasn’t able to cope with all 3 boys depending on her to choose the right sizes and all, so finally I decided to get up and help as well.

It wasn’t too bad when choosing the uniforms, and not that bad either when it came to shoes as well, but when it came to choosing school bags, Iwan the little boy kept choosing the hyper-expensive ones, even the ones over RM100! And he’s only going to a kindergarten!! Had to give him a firm no and I finally ended up choosing a much cheaper school bag for him, with his siblings helping me out by saying how good he looked with the bag I chose… ;)

With all the things chucked into the trolley, passers-by kept looking at our full to the brim trolley. This pic here was taken BEFORE we finished shopping…

When we reached the cashier, one of the staff asked if I’d like to pay half first, so they could give us the back-to-school vouchers, then I could use the vouchers to get a little price cut for the other half. Told her that was not necessary as I could still use the vouchers when I bring some other kids shopping for their schooling needs.

“Oh, anak yatim ya?” she asked. “Kalau macam tu takpelah. Saya ingat sekali ni aje, rugi la kalau tak guna voucher tu nanti.”

Anyway, I told the girls to help with the packing at the cashier. They simply chucked the things into the plastic bags. Fuzi told them to pack properly, but Wina replied, “Ala, nanti makcik hantar sampai depan rumah kan?” I told her I’d only be sending them to the bus stop. She just smiled, knowing pretty well I was only kidding.

By the time the cashier finished keying in the codes for all the stuff, the receipt came up to 33.7 inches long (yes, I got home and actually measured!). And the total amount spent? RM1,284.90. I had to swipe my card…

The good news is, Fuzi is the only client with 5 schooling children. The rest have 4 or less, so the receipts shouldn’t be that long in my other shopping sprees…

Back-to-school shopping : Round 1

2011-11-30T21:38:00.001+08:00

Yes, it’s that time of the year again! When I went to a hypermarket last week to buy some groceries for my own household needs, I noticed they had just started their back-to-school promotion. Immediately I thought I’d better start off with my yearly shopping for the schooling needs of the children from various families covered either by our Education Sponsorship programme or our Children Education Fund.

Since I needed to visit Sofie this week anyway to deliver some groceries and to get the supporting documents needed to register her son Azman for the culinary school in Ipoh, I figured I might as well start off with her family first. She stays out of Ipoh and I didn’t want to end up having to visit her separately for each purpose.

Fuzi had mentioned to me before that last year because we went quite late nearing the end of the school holidays, there weren’t much choice left for her children. I decided to put her family second on the list for my back-to-school shopping for this year.

On Monday I sent text messages to both Sofie & Fuzi – to inform Sofie that I’d be coming on Wednesday and to inform Fuzi that I’d be coming on Thursday. No questions whatsoever from Sofie but Fuzi called me this morning to ask again when I’d be taking them shopping, although it was clearly stated in the SMS I sent. “Tak awal sangat ke kak?” Duh! She was the one who complained that last year I brought them a wee bit late, now she’s saying it’s too early? I told her the back-to-school sales had already begun and I wanted to settle things early.

Today, after zuhr, I went off to Sofie’s house. I did arrive earlier than promised, and so none of them were ready when I got there. Ika and Saiful were watching TV while Azman was outside somewhere. While the 2 younger kids got ready, I checked all the documents to be submitted to the culinary school for Azman. Thank goodness I checked, he hadn’t even signed the form! Initially Azman wanted to just follow us shopping but just as his siblings got ready, he decided to just stay home. For the moment, while waiting for his PMR results, he works as a helper at a food stall to earn some income.

Only Sofie, Ika & Saiful came with me to a supermarket in town to buy their schooling needs. On the way, Sofie showed me where she usually sets up her stall selling nasi lemak and kuih. Oh yes, she has already started her small business after getting some help under the Welfare Department’s e-Kasih programme. She starts selling at 7am and closes up by 11 or 11.30 am, and gets about RM30 – RM40 a day. Alhamdulillah. That’s a good enough start for someone who 2 years ago was bed-ridden and looked like she was already dying.

Anyway, this time, having to buy schooling needs for only 2 of her children, the bill still came up to almost RM500. Wow, things sure are expensive, aren’t they. I didn’t want to end up buying different stuff in different shops, so everything were bought at the same supermarket, regardless of whether I could get some of the stuff cheaper elsewhere. I didn’t have time for all that. According to Sofie, if she had to buy the things on her own, she’d probably buy poor quality materials at much cheaper prices, although they don’t usually last long. And usually she’d buy one thing at a time – depending on how much she has in her hands.

Tomorrow I will be fetching Fuzi and her children for their back-to-school shopping. This time around, Iwan, her youngest, will get some stuff for himself as well since he will finally be going to a kindergarten next year. Usually he’d just watch his siblings choose their schooling needs, this time he’d get to choose at least a pair of shoes and a school bag for himself. I bet right now he must be really excited…

Down, but not out…

2011-11-24T20:31:00.001+08:00

3 cases were referred to me during yesterday’s clinic duty. However, one particular case really stood out, to me, at least. Why? Because based on this lady’s condition, I was expecting someone who’d be feeling really sorry for herself and who’d expect to live totally on other people’s help.

When SN came into the room, pushing a lady on a wheelchair, at first I didn’t realise the lady didn’t have one leg. She was wearing a batik sarong and I was looking at her face instead of the whole body. I knew this had to be an exceptional case because since SN now has 2 assistants, usually either one of the assistants would be accompanying the patients to the counselling room. This time SN herself came to explain the case to me as this lady really needed all the help she could get.

Sarojini had her left leg recently amputated – right up to her thighs. She’s still married, but her husband, who works as a lorry driver felt that since he was not able to take care of her, decided to send her temporarily to a welfare home. Their 4 children have been sent to another shelter home for children in another town.

Imagine having had her left leg amputated, and finding out at the same time that she had HIV – wow! I wouldn’t be surprised if she gave up on life.

But nope, Sarojini has the strength and determination which I truly admire. No doubt she’s worried – not so much about herself, but about the future of her children. Apparently her husband was not the type whom she could depend on to take care of their children.

“Dia tada suka balik rumah la akka. Dia mau keluar enjoy sama kawan-kawan saja.”

Oh dear, no wonder she was sent to a welfare home. It’s not so much that he could not take care of her at home, I don’t think he was even willing to go through all the trouble. He comes home only as and when he likes and not even bothered to visit the children at the shelter home.

Sarojini, of course, in her condition, had not been able to visit her children either. But she makes it a point to call them every week without fail to speak to each and every single one of them.

Now, without one leg, Sarojini is determined to get out of the welfare home as soon as possible and get her children to stay with her again. She is determined to live on and earn a living for the sake of her children. She may have lost a leg, but as she said, “Saya punya tangan masih boleh jahit la akka. Kalau saya tada kerja, saya punya anak mau makan apa? Mau sekolah macam mana?”

Wow! I truly admire her determination. I know of people without any physical handicap who’d go round asking for financial assistance – giving all sorts of excuses why they can’t work.

Of course, at this very moment Sarojini needs help. First thing is to help her apply for all the available sources of income like welfare aid and socso. Once she can get a fixed monthly income, then only can she move out of the welfare home, and get her kids out of the shelter home to stay with her again. Then we’d need to ensure her children gets all the necessary schooling assistance. And since she mentioned she can sew and plans to do tailoring work to earn her own income, hopefully after a while she’d be able to earn enough to feed her family. Meanwhile, we will try to source for monthly groceries to be delivered to her.

I could see tears in Sarojini’s eyes when I assured her that we’d be helping her out especially pertaining to her children’s education.

“Terima kasih banyak akka. Sekarang saya tada susah hati, ada orang mau tolong saya punya anak. Kalau saya mati pun dia orang mesti mau terus sekolah.”

Hang in there lady. We are more than willing to help those who are willing to take the effort to improve their lives despite all the trials and tribulations. You may be down right now, but definitely not out yet…

Updates here & there…

2011-11-22T20:03:00.001+08:00

While I was visiting Nasya at her home last Friday, a call came in from a number not registered in my handphone. From the number, I figured it could be from one of the government agencies. True enough, the call from an officer of the Welfare Department.

He asked me to confirm if Buddies would be sending anyone for the welfare grant cheque presentation in Batu Gajah the next day. Huh? He thought I would have at least heard about it. I had no clue whatsoever since we didn’t get any letter. Anyway, he asked if we could send 2 reps, but since it was such short notice I could only confirm that I’d be representing Buddies.

And so yes, on Saturday I went over for the function officiated by the deputy minister for Kementerian Pembangunan Wanita, Keluarga & Masyarakat; and alhamdulillah additional funds for Buddies. The year 2011 had definitely been a good year for Buddies in terms of fundings.

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On Sunday, a text message came in from an unfamiliar number -

“Salam. Anak saya dpt 5A. Klu dpt masuk asrama penuh camne?”

No names mentioned in the message and I didn’t have a clue who it was from. I wasn’t about to answer the question without even knowing who I was responding to, and so I had to ask first who that person was. Apparently the message was from Maya but the number was not listed in my handphone because she was using her husband’s phone. Remember Maya? The lady who, after her iddah was over, married her late husband’s younger brother, knowing pretty well she was HIV positive. Her late husband’s family thought it was their responsibility to take care of Maya’s well being since it was their family member who infected Maya with HIV. And since the younger brother was single and willing, he agreed to marry Maya.

Good to know that her daughter did well for her UPSR. Maya was worried that if the daughter gets offered to go to a residential school, they may not be able to fork out the expenses involved. The girl is under our sponsorship programme, so I told Maya not to worry about it. I personally really love to help out in cases involving children’s education, especially when I see the children themselves showing an interest in their education.

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On Monday morning, after my usual gardening routine, I realised there was another text message on my handphone, from another unfamiliar number. It started off with “Buat kehadapan mama fizah yg diingati…”

Huh?? Mama Fizah?? Couldn’t recall anyone ever calling me mama! I read on and finally I figured out that the sender of the message was Anita. As far as I could recall she used to call me Kak. It was the lady at the temporary shelter home that she called mama. Of course, age-wise she’s young enough to be my daughter but she never did call me mama before.

Anita now stays with her sister. Am not sure if she has already managed to get an identity card for herself or a birth cert for her son. We tried to help her before but she always came out with all sorts of excuses when we asked her to get her sisters to help get some supporting documents. She’s back with her own sisters now, I do hope they will do something (if they haven’t already) about her IC and her son’s birth cert.

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Last night Mrs K sent a text message asking if her children will be getting any help for next year’s schooling. I told her that we still help out when it comes to children education. As always, Mrs K would always come up with even more questions – will they get bus fares, can she send the 2nd daughter for this, can she send the youngest daughter for that. This time I didn’t bother to reply. If I replied, she’d probably think of something else to ask and may even ask for additional help which has nothing to do with her children’s education. I will get to her when her turn comes.

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Tomorrow I will be on clinic duty again. This time I won’t be alone. A new trainee volunteer, a PLHIV himself, has agreed to join me for tomorrow’s clinic…

Another child…

2011-11-18T21:53:00.001+08:00

When our sole volunteer in Taiping alerted me about a girl whose parents died of HIV related illnesses, and who herself had been suffering from various ailments, the volunteer wasn’t sure when I asked if the girl was HIV+ or if she had ever been tested for HIV. The volunteer herself got the news from somebody else. I told her to try get more details, and if possible, to visit the girl.

So she went to visit and amongst the details she got was that the girl had indeed been tested HIV+ and was already regularly going for treatment at the paed’s clinic. Since it was a paed’s case, it was never referred to us as cases in Taiping referred to us were only from the adults clinic. Was told that the girl’s HIV status was known to all and sundry in the kampong as her case was highlighted in a tabloid paper. Guess the reporter was trying to highlight the girl’s sad story and to add more impact to the story, even the girl’s HIV status was disclosed.

What bothered me most was the fact that the girl was no longer schooling. My colleague wasn’t able to give me a clear answer as to why the girl stopped going to school… was it because her HIV status had been known to all… or was it because of her illness? How can we help the girl?

I needed to know more. So I told my colleague to arrange for another visit – this time I myself wanted to join the visit.

Since it was my colleague’s off day from work today, we decided to pay the girl a visit. There was another couple sitting outside chatting with the girl’s grandma when we got there, but since the girl’s status was known to all, I wasn’t too worried about confidentiality. I found out that the couple were relatives anyway, and the grandma even invited us to sit together with the couple. The girl, Nasya, 13, did come out to salam with us. At one glance she looked okay.

I started chatting with the grandma and was told that since the girl seemed to be doing a whole lot better now, they were thinking of sending her back to school beginning next year. Apparently the girl went to school only up to standard 6, sat for her UPSR but after that she had to be hospitalised for whatever ailments and they never even went to get her UPSR results from school. Until now, they don’t know her results.

According to the grandma, Nasya stopped going to school when she was hospitalised and even after she was discharged, she had difficulty walking. She had to go to the hospital quite regularly and at one time even had to be referred to Ipoh GH when her condition worsened. I couldn’t really tell what her ailments were based on my conversation with the grandma, but it probably was somewhat related to some kind of brain infection, which I have seen quite often amongst the HIV cases referred.

The doctor had to change her to a new line of ARV which seemed to work better for her. She seemed a lot better now although not fully recovered. Although at one glance she looked okay, when we observed her walk, she wasn’t really back to normal. And according to the grandma, Nasya tends to forget certain things. And when we asked her to write, she was slow. even when writing her own name. When we asked her to write her address as well, she forgot. And she even had problems reading.

I don’t think it would be a good idea sending her to a normal school. She won’t be able to cope. And she’d probably end up not learning anything. We figured it would probably be better if she goes to Sekolah Pendidikan Khas. The grandma did agree with me but said that since Nasya’s aunt was the one who had been arranging this and that for Nasya, she’d have to discuss the matter with the aunt first. I told the grandma that if they needed help in the registration etc, we are willing to help out.

I understand Nasya will have to be registered as an OKU before she can be accepted into such schools. Maybe we’d also need to discuss the matter with the doctor handling her case before taking the next step.

Another problem not settled yet

2011-11-14T21:30:00.001+08:00

Fuzi sent me a text message last week, asking if it was okay for her to buy reference books for her eldest daughter, Wina, who will be sitting for her SPM next year. Amongst all the children of the PLHIV families under my care, Wina is the one who takes her schooling very seriously. She’s the one who asks for tuition, and she’s the one who wants those reference books.

I told Fuzi to wait for me to visit them so I could get more details on the subjects Wina is taking. I can probably get used reference books from my friends whose children have sat for their SPM and who no longer have anyone to hand down the books to.

So today, after getting supplies of groceries at a hypermarket, I immediately headed to Fuzi’s house. The moment I got to her house & honked, it was her youngest son Iwan who opened the door, smiling as sweetly as ever. He then came out together with his mother to help unload the groceries from my car.

Fuzi’s eldest daughter, Wina, 16, and eldest son, Hafiz, 13 were also home. The other 2 children including Ijam, the HIV+ boy, were in school. I brought along with me a bag of scarves given by SN. SN was no longer using those type of scarves and so she gave them to me so I could distribute them to the poor HIV families. Fuzi and Wina were happy to choose a few from the plastic bag.

Anyway, I told Wina I’d try to get the SPM reference books for her. I noted down the subjects she’s taking. Although Wina is under our sponsorship programme, no point buying reference books if we can get some for free. Might as well utilise the sponsorship money to cover for her tuition fees.

Fuzi’s problem now is that she’s still unable to apply for PR status for herself. Earlier on she was told that foreigners married to Malaysians can apply for PR status after 5 years. Fuzi had been staying in Malaysia since she got married 17 years ago. But when she went recently, she was told the rule doesn’t apply to widows. She couldn’t apply for PR back then when her husband was still alive because he never bothered to register their marriage here (they were married in Narathiwat).

After her husband’s death, Fuzi had all sorts of problems trying to get Malaysian identity cards for her children, but that matter finally got settled when someone helped to get her marriage cert finally accepted by the court here. So now the problem of her first 4 children are settled. They have no problem getting their MyKad done.

However, her youngest boy, Iwan, was born out of a rape case, after the death of Fuzi’s husband. With Fuzi’s status still as a non citizen, and father’s details unknown, Iwan was classified as non-citizen. Fuzi was hoping that if she could get herself the PR status, then maybe she could apply to get Iwan as a Malaysian citizen. She was hopeful earlier, but with the latest development, she’s back to square one.

Iwan is 5 years old. Next year he will be going to a nearby kindergarten. The problem will arise when he needs to start schooling in 2013. If he still remains as a non-citizen, he may have problems getting into a government school. I was told he will need to apply to the state education dept and pay some additional fees as a foreign student.

There’s still another year to go. I hope something can be done before 2013 comes…

It’s all up to her now…

2011-11-09T20:44:00.001+08:00

During Aidil Adha on Sunday, I did get a text message from Shidah, wishing me Selamat Hari Raya. I was quite busy when the SMS came in and so I thought I’d reply later, but ended up forgetting all about it. Then yesterday another SMS came in, again from Shidah, but this time it was a blank SMS. I began to wonder if she was in some kind of trouble.

Remember Shidah, the foreign lady married to a Malaysian? The one who got beaten up by her husband and whose passport was locked up by him? You can read her earlier stories here and here.

Amongst all my clients, Shidah is the only one whom I wouldn’t call unless and until she calls me first. Although I do have her handphone number, there was a time when her husband would hold the phone and only passed it to her when she needed to go to the hospital so that it’d be easier for her to call him once she was done with her hospital matters. Calling her when the phone is in her husband’s hands may result in her husband being suspicious of who I was, why I contacted his wife etc. And she may end up being beaten up again as the husband is the type who’d get angry even with the slightest reason.

Anyway, yesterday I just decided to respond to the blank SMS. Didn’t dare ask much though. I just asked “Apa khabar?” Shidah immediately called back. In her Pattani dialect, she told me she was having some problems.

Shidah: “Saya ada masalah sikit kakak.”

Me: “Kenapa? Kena pukul lagi ke?”

Shidah: “Bukan kena pukul. Dia sudah ada perempuan lain. Esok kakak ada pergi hospital ka? Esok saya pergi ambil ubat.”

Me: “Ada. Cari saya esok tempat biasa.”

So yes, this morning I made sure I got to the hospital a wee bit early in case Shidah came early. She was only there to get her monthly supply of ARV, not to see the doctor, so it shouldn’t take too long. If I went late and Shidah had to wait for me, her husband may suspect something if she takes too long before calling him to come and fetch her.

Indeed, it wasn’t long after I got to the counselling room when Shidah walked in, salam & kissed my hands as had always been her practise, and immediately sat beside me.

Physically, she looked fine. I asked her when was the last time she was beaten up by her husband and according to her, it was right before our last meet in May. He still gets angry, and from time to time purposely abuse her emotionally, but at least for the past 5 months, he had not beaten her. In fact lately, he had been a wee bit nicer to her – particularly after he found out that Shidah had began suspecting that he has an affair with another woman. Shidah had in fact saw the woman’s pic in her husband’s handphone but before she could double check – all pics and phone numbers had been deleted from his phone.

Typical! He’s probably trying his utmost best to be as nice as possible so that his involvement in the affair wouldn’t be suspected by the wife. In this particular case, it became even more suspicious when he suddenly became nicer because it is not normal for him to be nice to his wife!

According to Shidah she needed to get her visa renewed recently and since then, her passport had been in her hands. So, passport is no longer a problem if she wanted to go back to her home country to be back with her daughter. When she married her present husband and followed him here, her daughter was only 3 years old then. The girl is being taken care by Shidah’s mother. Her brother too helps to support the daughter financially.

Shidah has not seen her daughter since then. It has been 5 years. She does get to speak to her daughter by phone from time to time, and her daughter had been asking her when she’d be coming back. Shidah too, needless to say, missed her daughter so much. But every time she asked her husband if she could go back to see her daughter, the husband would say he didn’t have enough money. Frankly, I don’t think money is the problem. Shidah’s brother had offered her before to pay for the transport so she could go back and see her daughter, but the husband would still come up with all sorts of excuses. Shidah had asked her husband before for her to go back for good, but that got her husband real mad and she ended up being beaten up.

But back then, she couldn’t run away & go back to her family because the problem was she didn’t have her passport with her and she didn’t have any money. I could try get help to finance her transport cost to go back by bus, but her passport was another story. I did advise her to seek help from her embassy but she was too afraid to leave the house.

Now that passport is no longer the problem, there’s no more stopping her right? As it is, even though they are still husband & wife and staying in the same house, they no longer sleep together anymore. He goes in and out as and when he likes, whereas she only gets to go out when he brings her out. He never gives her any money, any household needs he will pay himself instead of giving cash to his wife for her to buy the necessities. He helps to top up her phone so she could from time to time call her family back home. She does all the housework including cooking for him.

She doesn’t sound like a wife does she? Sounds more like a maid.

So, how come she still seems reluctant to leave him? Is she afraid? She doesn’t want to be “isteri nusyuz” by leaving him? She still loves him despite all that he had done to her?

I told her of the choices she has:

1. To talk things out with her husband and tell him that she wants to be with her daughter who is growing up now. Try to go separate ways in the most amicable manner, if she thinks it is possible.

2. If she thinks her husband will only end up beating her up if she asks for divorce, then another option is to make her move during one of her hospital visits. Easier for her to escape.

3. She can choose to remain in the relationship which doesn’t seem to give her any future.

By this time, I could already see her tears flowing. She still seemed unsure what to do. I told her I wasn’t going to tell her what course of action she should take – the decision has to be hers. I just told her to go back and think things over – think of the good IF she decides to remain in the present situation & think of the good IF she decides to go back to her home country. Then weigh them and see which one brings more benefit (to me the answer is obvious). I told her to think of her own future and not let the feeling of guilt to play any part in her decision.

I also reminded her that she still has Allah to turn to. Do the istikharah. Ask for His guidance.

The decision is now in her hands. All I can do is to lend her my support.

A new beginning?

2011-10-31T22:08:00.001+08:00

The last time I went to visit Sofie at her home, I was told about her problem with her son Azman, who was caught by the police for riding a motorbike without road tax, and without license.

Before anybody assumes that Azman is a wild, naughty boy, I can vouch that he is actually quite a polite and obedient boy. It’s just that he doesn’t seem to be interested in school anymore, and ended up befriending the wrong group of friends. Sofie told me that Azman planned to stop schooling after his PMR and look for a job that suits his interest. And his interest? Oh, he loves cooking. Even when Sofie told him about a canteen operator looking for an assistant to help wash the dishes, Azman said he wanted to help out with the cooking so he could learn.

I figured rather than forcing him to go to school for the next 2 years just for the sake of sitting for his SPM, when we know his interest is elsewhere, might as well direct him for vocational training.

Coincidentally recently I was requested to do the cashflow for a newly opened private centre offering a course in Kitchen Practice. Those who completes the course will be given the Sijil Kemahiran Malaysia by Jabatan Pembangunan Kemahiran and so I asked one of the directors about the minimum requirements. Azman seemed to meet the minimum requirements. So I told Sofie to ask Azman if he really was serious about doing a course related to cooking. If he takes this up seriously, the prospects for him are quite good. He can either be a chef, serve in hotels/restaurants or runs his own catering/cafeteria business.

Sofie called me back yesterday saying that Azman was actually excited about the idea and kept on asking her, “Betul ke makcik Afizah boleh dapatkan tempat ni?”

So yes, this morning I called the person in charge at the Centre to ask about the coming intake and how to go about. I was told application for December’s intake is already opened and so I went over to the Centre to get the necessary forms and more detailed info. Just a simple form that needs to be filled to apply for a place, and another form to apply for the Tabung Pendidikan Kemahiran. The students (limited to 25 students per intake) are given an allowance of RM300 per month, and if they need hostel accommodation, RM150 will be deducted from their allowance to cover for the hostel fees.

Later in the afternoon, after buying supplies of groceries for the family, off I went to visit Sofie’s family. I had told Sofie earlier I’d be coming and to be sure Azman would be home as I wanted to speak to him personally to be really sure this was what he wanted.

And yes, Azman was home when I got there. In fact he was eagerly waiting for me to come. I could see he was really excited about taking up this course. Even last week when his mother was sponsored to attend a 5 day course under the e-kasih programme, Azman asked his mother to teach him whatever she learnt. There was no doubt where his interest lies.

But I still gave him a piece of my mind when I met him today. I wanted him to make sure he doesn’t waste this opportunity. Hopefully this will be the start of a better future for him…

Come on boy! I’ve done the ground work to open up the opportunity for you, get in there and prove your worth. Show us what you’re made of!

Activities for the past 2 days

2011-10-25T21:00:00.001+08:00

I spent the whole day Monday at the Dewan Komuniti Taman Meru for the Kempen Kesedaran Pencegahan Penderaan Kanak-kanak & Keganasan Rumahtangga organised by the State Health Department. Other than inviting us to set up a booth, the organisers also sent us a letter asking us to send a few participants to the seminar. I told them that since it was a working day, it was either the booth or the seminar participants for us, not both. Most of our volunteers work in the private sector, so in order for them to attend, they’d need to take leave.

So yes, we opted for the booth. The booth was after all, inside the hall, and so while manning the booth, I could listen to the talks by the various speakers as well.

Another volunteer promised to join me early morning to help me set up the booth. She didn’t turn up, so I was all alone setting up the Buddies booth. The volunteer only turned up at 12.30 pm, long after the guest-of-honour left. Another volunteer who promised to help out later during the day, never turned up at all. Sigh! Oh well, you get that sometimes when you do voluntary work.

Since I was all alone at the booth when the guest-of-honour, Dato Dr Mah Hang Soon, went round, I sought the help of one of the volunteers at the neighbouring booth to help snap a few pics when the YB stopped at the Buddies booth.

With 9 speakers talking on various topics – this brain of mine had to absorb so much the whole day. Luckily we had good speakers, so it wasn’t too bad. The downside however was that it was rather… ermm no, it was VERY warm in the hall. This time I was not willing to wear the Buddies vest, except for a short while when Dato Dr Mah went round the booths.

Today being the last Tuesday of October, I was on clinic duty in Taiping. Earlier on Sunday, Sofie called me seeking my help. She said someone from KPW’s e-kasih programme called her up asking her to attend a course at a hotel in Ipoh starting Tuesday (today) but she didn’t know where the hotel was. She asked if I could help send her. I told her I needed to go to Taiping, but when I found out that she had to report before 9 am while I usually only make a move to Taiping at about the same time, I agreed to help her out provided she arrived in Ipoh a bit early. The only problem was, she didn’t get the letter from the organisers, just a phone call, and so the name of the hotel was based on what she heard, or what she thought she heard. She told me it would be at “Hell City”.

Huh? Hell city?! Where the hell is that?!! After a while I managed to figure it out. She must have meant Hillcity Hotel. Duh!

So yes, this morning I went to fetch her at the bus station and sent her to Hillcity Hotel. The moment we got to the hotel I saw a large banner welcoming participants to a Kursus Kemahiran organised by the KPW so I immediately knew I brought Sofie to the right place.

After sending Sofie to the hotel, I stopped by our center for a while to unload the exhibition materials from my car. We finished quite late of Monday and I wanted to rush home for my asar prayer and so when I went home all the materials were still in my car. I didn’t want to bring them all the way to Taiping, and since I was still rather early, there was ample time for me to leave all the stuff at the center before making a move to Taiping for my clinic duty.

My colleague in Taiping was already waiting in the praying room aka our makeshift counselling room when I got there. She had to report for duty at 10 am and was only there to report to me on the status of a 13 year old HIV+ girl who was referred to her by somebody else due to the family’s poor condition. The girl goes to the Taiping paed’s clinic and so the case was never referred to us earlier. The girl’s parents both died of HIV related illnesses and so she and her younger sibling now stay with their grandma. The younger sibling however had been spared from the virus. My guess is when the mother was pregnant with the second child, her HIV was detected and so precautions were taken to avoid transmission to the child.

Anyway, apparently everyone in the neighbourhood and in her school seem to know about this girl’s HIV status, thanks to a newspaper, under the pretext of highlighting her sad story, even published the fact that the girl’s HIV+. The girl has stopped going to school for the past few months. I asked my colleague to arrange for a suitable day for us to go and visit the girl at home. I think I need to speak to the girl myself before I can decide what kind of help we can give her.

My colleague had already gone off by the time the nurse came in to refer one case to us. A young lady then walked in. Unlike in Ipoh hospital where the nurse would usually give me a brief background of the case before referring the patient to us, in Taiping the nurse simply got the patients to go see me in the room without even giving any details except for the name.

This young lady, Nor, found out about her HIV during her pregnancy test. I asked where her husband was; she smiled sheepishly and said, “Tak ada.” I immediately knew this was another unwed pregnancy case. But unlike the other unwed pregnancy cases that I’ve handled so far, this one seems to have the least problem. I don’t have to worry about finding a shelter home for her as her parents do accept her at home despite knowing of her unwed pregnancy and HIV. I asked if her parents did attempt to get her “partner-in-crime” to marry her, but according to Nor, her parents dislike the guy. And when asked if the guy had gone for testing, Nor said she did call him to ask him to go for testing, but he refused. In fact he got mad when the hospital people called him up (number given by Nor) to ask him to go for testing. Ah well…

The next case referred to me was a guy. Not a new case actually, but he was still referred to me as he needed financial help, particularly for his schooling children. He is working but now that he is already on his second line of HAART, he needs to buy one of the antiretroviral drugs. Although the cost is subsidised, he still needs to fork out RM200 a month to pay for it. I told him we can’t help him out with the cost of the drugs, but we can help out with his children’s education.

One more case was referred to me after that. A new case referred to Taiping Hospital, but not someone newly diagnosed. He had been diagnosed HIV+ a few years ago in another state where he was working, but after going for appointments a few times, he gave up. In fact, he admitted that at one time he almost wanted to just end his life, but according to him, somehow, “Saya ingat Tuhan tolong sama saya la.” He moved back to his hometown to stay with this mother, and now no longer has the urge to end his life.

All cases were referred to me quite early this time, so by the time I finished seeing the 3rd case, it wasn’t even 12 pm yet. I even had enough time to get home in time for lunch!

The week that was…

2011-10-20T22:00:00.001+08:00

While attending the launch of the Karnival Usahawan Wanita & S.H.E. Expo at Stadium Indera Mulia in Ipoh last Friday, I finally decided to confirm with a friend from another NGO, Perak Women for Women, to attend a talk they were organising the next day. It was rather short notice, I only got to know about the talk via SMS in the morning, and I had initially planned to use the weekend to have a good rest at home, but I figured the topic of the talk could be useful to me in carrying out my own voluntary work. The topic was “Parenting Teens on Sex : When to Start & What to Say”.

I may not be a parent myself, but I do deal with so many teenagers who are children of my clients. In addition, I have been assigned to handle a few unwed pregnancy cases as well. So yes, the topic was somewhat relevant.

And so on Saturday I did attend the talk. The turnout wasn’t too impressive initially, but slowly participants started trickling in. The speaker was Puan Jamilah Samian, (author of the book “Cool Moms, Super Dads”) and she was backed up by her husband, Encik Ahmad Fakhri. And yes, I probably could use some of the tips in my own approach to the teenagers I have to deal with even though they aren’t my own kids.

Monday morning… off I went to the hospital. No, I wasn’t on clinic duty; our clinic duties at Hospital Raja Permaisuri Bainun are on Wednesdays. I had been invited to give a talk introducing Buddies to some staff of Health Clinics in Kinta district on Tuesday 18/10, and the letter for me was sent to the HIV clinic at HRPB. So I went to get the letter to find out the full details of the “Kursus Pengurusan HIV” organised by the State Health Department. At the same time, I was hoping to meet up with Hasnah, a client from outstation who was supposed to come for her appointment on Monday. I wanted to help her apply for some financial assistance and there were some forms that needed to be signed.

But by the time I got to the HIV clinic, it was already 10.30 am, yet according to the nurse, Hasnah was nowhere to be seen. I tried calling, there was no answer. I sent a text message, there was no reply. At that moment, I thought she may have defaulted her appointment again, as she did once before.

Not wanting to waste time waiting for nothing, I decided to go home. At least I could get some work done on my computer. It was already 11.45 am when Hasnah finally called back to inform me that she had just reached the hospital. Apparently she couldn’t call me back earlier as her phone ran out of credit.

Off I headed to the hospital again, met up with Hasnah at the HIV clinic and got her to sign the necessary. She had not photostated the necessary documents yet though, thinking of getting them done at the hospital. But I needed a copy of her husband’s IC as well and he wasn’t around, so Hasnah promised to post the supporting documents to me later.

After lunch & zohor at home, off I went again… this time heading to Taman Meru, Jelapang. There is supposed to be an awareness programme there next week and Buddies will be setting up a booth, and the organisers, the State Health Department, called for a final meeting at the event venue. The event is actually a seminar on Kesedaran Pencegahan Penderaan Kanak-kanak & Keganasan Rumahtangga. Our booths will be in the hall where the seminar will be held, so yep, while manning the booth, I’d get to listen to the seminar as well.

The meeting ended at almost 4.30 pm. The next day I was to be one of the speakers for the other event organised by the State Health Department (different unit though), but since my slot was supposed to be from 12.45 – 1.15 pm, I only went after 11 am. Well, the talks before mine ran late due to a longer than anticipated opening ceremony, and so by the time I got to talk, it was already 1 pm. That too because they decided to postpone the slot for the speaker before me to after lunch. I was the only non-MOH staff amongst the lot and they decided to let me speak first so as not to waste my time.

Anyway, all I had to do was introduce Buddies to them. Knowing the participants were probably already hungry and noting the fact that during one of the forums during the National Aids Conference in Penang recently, each speaker at that forum were only given 10 minutes each to talk about their organisations, I only took about 15 minutes to complete my talk. So lunch was still on schedule.

Got home by about 2.15, and after a short rest, I had to prepare my notes for our board meeting later at 7.45 pm. Our board meetings are usually held on the last Tuesday of each month, but since this time the last Tuesday falls on Deepavali eve, we decided to have the meeting a week earlier.

Amongst others, the Board approved the purchase of exhibition display boards so at least we’d have a proper display for our posters during exhibitions especially when the organisers do not provide display boards. I had earlier enquired from a supplier in KL and was told that they’d charge an additional RM80 for delivery to Ipoh. Still cheaper than the one I checked out in Ipoh, so might as well order from this KL supplier. But after I confirmed the order, the invoice came… and it was mentioned in the invoice that delivery is FOC for community service. Yayyy!!

Another good news is we have also been chosen as a recipient of a project called the Little Christmas Hat Project where a certain amount of the proceeds from the sales of the hats will be channelled to our Education Fund. And we don’t even have to help out with the sales of those hats.

I think this year so far had been quite a good year for Buddies…

And the virus keeps being passed on… and on…

2011-10-14T13:02:00.001+08:00

3 new cases were referred to me during my recent clinic duty – 1 divorced lady with 3 children, and the other 2 were a couple.

The first case referred was that of the divorced lady – small framed but she looked quite healthy really. I was quite surprised when upon browsing through her medical file, I noted that her CD4 was already below 50. And she had just been diagnosed only recently.

Rita, divorced just about 5 years ago, had not been in any sort of contact with her ex-husband since the divorce was finalised. Yes, she has 3 young children, aged 9 and below, but never once did the ex-husband even bother to find out how they are doing. Forget alimony.

So when Rita was tested positive, her ex-husband could not be contacted to check if he had been tested or if he was already seeking treatment elsewhere. Rita only mentioned that the last she heard, her ex had remarried.

Oh dear, that means very likely he had passed on the virus to somebody else as well… sigh…

Which comes to the question… aren’t all Muslims in Malaysia required to do the mandatory HIV test before they get married? Well, yes. So was he tested positive but the wife still agreed to proceed with the marriage? Or was it undetected during the test? Or did he find ways and means to either avoid the test (by marrying outside Malaysia) or to get a HIV –ve clearance without even doing the test? God knows…

Anyway, with a CD4 of less than 50, Rita will definitely have to start her ARV immediately. Being an educated person, it wasn’t too difficult explaining the implications to her and so I think she should be ready to adhere to her ARV treatment.

Next up was the couple. They came in with a young boy, about 1 year +. The nurse passed me 2 medical files – so I knew straightaway that both of them were HIV+.

Based on their story, they only found out that the wife was HIV+ only after she had to go through her c-sect when delivering the boy. All pregnancy cases would have been tested for HIV but apparently, for this lady, it was not detected during the initial test.

I was quite surprised when the husband said he just got tested and didn’t know his results yet. He wanted to know if he had been infected as well. Apparently this was the lady’s second marriage and she assumed she probably got infected by her late husband. She has 4 grown up children from her first marriage – one of them already working.

I told the guy that the fact that a file was already opened for him meant he was confirmed +ve as well. He seemed calm, either already expecting it, or he pretended he was unaware in the first place I don’t know.

After they left the room, I studied their files. The husband was tested immediately after the wife delivered their child, at a hospital in another state, and the result was +ve. They would have been told about the results then. So how come he was still asking about his test results? Did they not understand the first time around?

After reading their files further, I found out that they had defaulted follow-up appointments in that hospital after they moved to Perak. They never bothered to get referral letters and they never brought their child for follow-up after the child was diagnosed as negative. Or so they claimed. They sure seemed like one confused couple.

They finally went back to the hospital when they needed to seek treatment for their child who was down for some other ailment and that was when they got the referral letters to continue their follow up appointments in Ipoh.

It will be rather difficult to follow up on this case especially if they default any other appointments. With no phone numbers to contact, any follow ups on our part would have to be by way of house visits. Then again, without informing before hand, they may not be home when we visit. And based on what they said to me, they may be looking for another house soon.

I just hope they fully understood my explanation to them on the importance of adherence to all their treatments and appointments. They promised to inform me if they ever move to another house.

Guess I will just have to wait and see…

The Problematic Young Woman

2011-10-07T12:37:00.001+08:00

Those of you who had been following my blog from the beginning may remember the story of Zana, the first unwed pregnancy case I had to send to a shelter home. You can read her stories here… Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4.

Anyway, Zana gave birth to a pair of twins, both boys, but one of them died after a few months, exactly a week after I visited them – initially to bring Zana & her boys back home to her parent’s place, but ended up not doing so when Zana’s mother told her not to because apparently her father was fuming mad when he heard about Zana’s out-of-wedlock pregnancy for a second time (they were already taking care of Zana’s older daughter, also a result of out-of-wedlock pregnancy).

Zana always had problems with the other occupants at the shelter home. She finally left the home, initially with her son, but later the people at the shelter home took the boy back under their care due to Zana’s unstable financial position. Zana herself told them that she’d fetch the boy once she gets married.

Zana then went back to her wild old ways. She never went for her follow-up appointments at the hospital.

The latest update I got was that Zana, whose condition seemed to have reached full blown AIDS, went to the shelter home, wanting to take her son with her to her parent’s home. She felt she did not have much time to live and so wanted to spend more time with her son and her family. To be doubly sure that she indeed was going back to her parent’s place, the people at the shelter home called up Zana’s mother and the mother confirmed that they were willing to have both Zana and the boy at their home. And so the boy followed his mother (after much coaxing by the caregivers at the shelter home).

Apparently, after going back to her parent’s home for a while, Zana still went back to her old ways. She left the home and her son there as well. The boy had to stay with people who was not familiar to him at all, despite being his close family members.

Recently Zana called up the people at their shelter home, seeking their help to get the boy back from her parent’s home. According to her, the boy is being abused at home by her other family members.

Hmmm… knowing Zana, we don’t really know if she really was telling the truth. But come to think of it, it could still be true. Zana’s father had always been the overly strict type and had even disowned Zana once. The boy, so used to the people at the shelter home, may have missed his caregivers and would have probably thrown tantrums from time to time, wanting to go back to the only “family” he ever knew. His real family could have got fed-up with his antics and beat him up instead, wanting him to keep quiet.

I don’t know. I am no longer handling this case. The people from the shelter home can’t simply go to the home of Zana’s parents to take the boy away from there. They tried calling Zana’s mother to discuss matters, but she never answered the phone. From what I heard, they may seek the help of the welfare department.

Whatever it is, I do hope the boy will end up with the best option available. It sure wouldn’t be fair for him to inherit a problematic life due to the mistakes of his own mother and other family members.

First the exhibition, then the conference…

2011-10-05T22:13:00.002+08:00

Been busy for the past five days. Over the weekend there was the awareness campaign in Kg Ulu Geroh, an Orang Asli village in Gopeng. It was in conjunction with the National Law Awareness Week, organised by the Perak Bar Committee.

I had to go there on Saturday, to set up our booth, and then again on Sunday, for the campaign itself. Although Gopeng itself is not that far from Ipoh (usually just about 20 minutes drive to Gopeng toll), we had to take another 40 minutes or so from Gopeng town to the kampong itself although it was less than 10 kilometres in. And although we did see a few cars going in and out of the place, it was more advisable to use 4 wheel drives.

We Buddies had always depended on the personal vehicles of the volunteers to go anywhere. But none of us had any 4 wheel drives. However, lucky for us, we were sharing a booth with the Perak Family Health Association, and they had a Pajero! The lady who was to represent PFHA at the booth, is only used to drive the Pajero in town, didn’t dare drive on the terrain heading to Kg Ulu Geroh, and she needed someone else to drive the Pajero for her. So it was a fair deal. PFHA provided the 4WD, and Buddies provided the driver! Yours truly had actually never driven a Pajero before, whether on smooth tarred roads or on uneven grounds, but being some sort of a daredevil, volunteered to drive anyway. And made it we did!

3 Orang Asli “Cetak Rompak”

Early Monday morning, I was again out of the house when it was still dark. This time to drive (back in my auto Kenari) to Penang for the 2nd National Aids Conference in Equatorial Hotel, Penang. It rained all the way, but although it was a rather smooth drive from Ipoh to Juru toll, the jam started as we were about to get onto the Penang bridge.

Anyway, I learnt a lot during the 3 day conference, particularly on the latest updates related to HIV/AIDS, and I am hoping to organise one session for my fellow volunteers to update them with the knowledge I gained during the conference. I think many of my volunteers are quite “outdated” in a way… they’d better equip themselves with more knowledge to enable them to carry out their work as a buddy more effectively. So many things have changed since the last training session was held for them.

One of the sessions held during the conference.

Poor Sofie…

2011-09-30T13:13:00.002+08:00

It had been more than a month since I last went to visit Sofie and her children. The last visit was about a week before Raya. By yesterday Raya was already over, so I didn’t get to visit them during Raya month.

Yesterday I finally managed to slot in some time to visit them. It was end of the month anyway, time for grocery delivery. So yes, first thing was to buy the groceries. I still have ample funds donated by friends to be used for this purpose.

This time I decided to visit in the afternoon. When I got to their house, Sofie’s youngest, Ika, was already smiling at the door, with a cup of ice-cream in her hand. Her brothers were not back from school yet. So only Ika helped to unload the groceries from my car. I took care of the heavier stuff while Ika carried the smaller and lighter stuff. Sofie herself was limping. She had been working hard to earn some income for her family.

Somehow the news I got this time wasn’t pleasing to my ears, particularly on Azman, Sofie’s second son. The boy who is sitting for his PMR this year, according to Sofie is already planning to stop schooling and work after his PMR. Even during the year he had already skipped school from time to time, giving all sorts of excuses. His interest is simply not in school. Before this he did mention to his mother that he wanted to go to a particular sekolah pondok. Now he says he wants to work. Sigh…

I had been trying my best to stress to them on the importance of education for the betterment of their future, but I guess these kids don’t think long term.

I asked Sofie if Azman had any special interests. His older brother too had earlier on been planning to start working immediately after his SPM, but I told him to at least take a short course or something in a field where his interest lies. Good to know that now he plans to register at a nearby Kolej Komuniti.

According to Sofie, Azman loves cooking. And at one time when Sofie got fed-up and told Azman that there was a vacancy at a canteen to help wash the dishes, Azman didn’t want the job. He wanted a job where he could help with the cooking. Hmmm… so maybe he can take up a course related to that… like hotel & catering maybe? Or any culinary related courses.

There was another piece of news about Azman that wasn’t pleasant to my ears. Recently he befriended another 15 year old boy who managed to “borrow” an uncle’s motorbike, one without road tax. With Azman as main rider and the friend as pillion, they rode the motorbike in town only to confront a police roadblock. Knowing well they were in the wrong, they tried to escape… only to end up in the drains. Needless to say, they got caught.

When the police called up Sofie to tell her to come to the police station, Sofie got so fed up initially she told the policeman to just let Azman sleep in the lockup. She was unwell, she was tired. But the policeman managed to coax Sofie to come. According to him, the uncle of the friend who owns the motorbike was fuming mad at the police station and he was putting the blame totally on Azman (as though Azman would be able to get the motor without his nephew’s help).

So yes, Sofie did finally go to the police station. There were some damage done to the motorbike, for which Sofie had to pay for, which came up to almost RM100. For someone like Sofie, that’s a big amount. But the uncle (and his wife) did not stop there. They had been pestering Sofie to pay for repairs to the engine as well. Thank goodness one of the policemen told Sofie that the engine had already been problematic all the while, so Sofie refused to pay for that. Apparently the boy (Azman’s friend) is a “regular” at the police station, with various types of offences.

Whatever it is, since Azman is under-aged, didn’t have a license and the motorbike he rode didn’t have a road tax, he wasn’t offered a compound notice. The notice he got was to appear in court. Only then will Sofie be able to appeal for some leniency. Sofie had already told Azman to work part-time after his PMR so he’d be able to pay for whatever fine that will be imposed.

Too bad Azman wasn’t home when I visited yesterday. I would have given him a piece of my mind.

I know Azman is not a bad boy. Yes, he may be a bit of the mischievous type, but despite not having any interest in his studies, I find that he is ever willing to help out with any other activities. As a matter of fact, he came with me to one of the exhibitions and he was of great help. And I do know he does care about his mother.

I don’t know how he got involved with the problematic friend. I may need to talk to him face to face after his PMR. Probably the best thing is to keep him busy with activities which are of interest to him. Maybe sign him up for a culinary course.

Poor Sofie… she already had enough problems before this…

Today’s cases…

2011-09-28T21:43:00.001+08:00

The moment I walked into the HIV clinic this morning, SN told me about the guy whose transportation to a shelter home in Penang was sponsored by us some time ago. The guy ended up leaving the shelter home just like that without even notifying the management of the place. I guess all he wanted was a place to stay where he could do as he liked without being subjected to rules and regulations.

According to SN, the guy passed away last Sunday. I asked SN who claimed his body since he was homeless. SN never thought about that. She said she’d check with the mortuary to find out.

There were supposed to be 3 new cases today but when I first got to the clinic, none had turned up yet. But it didn’t take long before the first case was referred to me. One of the junior nurses at the HIV clinic came in and behind her was a guy on a wheelchair helped by another nurse from a district hospital where the guy had been hospitalised for the past month.

Nizam was initially hospitalised for Hep C and TB, and subsequent tests found him to be HIV infected. In addition, he was also diagnosed with cerebral toxoplasmosis.

Well, he didn’t talk much. Even the questions I asked, he’d just give me a single word answer. I ended up just giving him our brochure and the number to call in case one day he needed to talk to someone.

The next case referred was Lim, a guy in his early 50’s who couldn’t speak much Malay. I was on duty alone today so didn’t have any Chinese-speaking volunteer to help me out. Luckily Lim came with his brother who could at least speak broken Malay.

Lim had been diagnosed HIV+ since 2 years ago when he was working overseas. He had already been on HAART before he came back to Malaysia and so his case wasn’t really a new case. I didn’t really have to brief him about HIV as he was already well informed. But with his asthmatic problem in addition to his HIV, is unable to work and while he is currently staying alone in a rented house (he is unmarried), his financial needs are being covered by his siblings. Since the siblings aren’t well off either, the brother was hoping some sort of welfare help could be arranged for Lim.

Next case referred was another single Chinese guy, in his late 50’s. Again, this wasn’t a newly diagnosed case. Tan had been diagnosed since more than ten years ago and had been going for his follow ups in KL but when he moved back to Ipoh to stay with his mother, he didn’t bother to get a referral letter and so didn’t go for any more follow-ups until recently when he finally decided he’d better arrange to see the doctor so he could start on his HAART soon enough if his CD4 level plunged.

While I was still talking to Tan, SN walked in with another guy to be referred to me. Again, this wasn’t a newly diagnosed case. But according to SN, he needed to talk to someone about the future of his wife and children.

Imran was diagnosed HIV+ since a few years ago and had been on HAART for 3 years. Ever since diagnosed, Imran had been working hard to earn some income for his family and did so quite successfully by setting up his own small business, with the help of his wife. However, of late he had been unwell, easily feeling tired… sometimes to the extent that he had to close shop as early as noon. This had affected his business and so Imran is worried what would happen to his wife and children should he die in the near future. With 3 children, all still in primary school, they have a long way to go to complete schooling.

I assured Imran that we should be able to help out with the children’s schooling. Just as I was about to suggest that he employs someone to help out with his business, Imran mentioned about wanting to employ a worker so that the business can still continue even when he’s not around, but for the moment he doesn’t have enough capital to do so. He had gone to a bank to apply for a loan. Loan was approved but he needed a guarantor, something he couldn’t get. I suggested to him to seek assistance from agencies like MARA to help out.

I could see that Imran wanted to say more to me, but by this time he already had tears in his eyes. He somehow felt that his time will come in the not so distant future and he’s afraid he won’t be able to put the business on track for his wife to just take over when the time comes…

Kondom bocor?

2011-09-26T12:30:00.001+08:00

Just as my friends and I were about to make a move from Ipoh for our Belum-Temenggor trip last weekend, a call came in on my handphone with the MI ringtone. It was Mrs K. At first I thought it could be another one of her attempt to try and borrow money, but then I remembered, although she’d fail in her attempt each time, usually when she tries to borrow money, she’d use SMS. When I answered her call, she asked…

“Kak, nak tanya sikit lah kak. Malam tadi saya adalah bersama dengan Abang *** (hubby’s name). Pas tu kondom bocor lah kak, macam mana ni?”

*Just for the record, Mrs K had so far been tested negative although Mr K had been diagnosed HIV+ for more than 4 years now.

Oh dear, that was the second time she asked me the same question. Don’t they ever learn?

Told her what is done cannot be undone. She will have to wait a while and then go for testing. Mrs K was thinking that it would help if in the meantime she takes any antibiotics or something to that effect.

She then told me the whole story. Apparently Mr K is back into drugs and always short of money and Mrs K finally had it and asked for divorce. Mr K got angry and beat her up. As a result, Mrs K filed a police report and when she got home and told Mr K what she did, he pulled her into their bedroom and forced her to have sex with him.

Hmmm… I doubt it was a case of “kondom bocor” after all. They probably didn’t use condom at all.

When Shah, their eldest son, found out that his mother asked for divorce, all he said to her was that she should have done so long ago. Shah had always been angry with his father. To him his father was the cause of all the their family’s troubles.

Mrs K did mention that Mr K would be leaving the house that day (the day she called me) because he was afraid one of Mrs K’s brothers may come and beat him up. I’m not sure if that really took place since I have not heard any news from Mrs K since then. I don’t know if she tried to call me when I was in Belum… there was no phone reception most of the time anyway.

I will need to call her one of these days to find out more.

Belum? Sudah!

2011-09-20T18:34:00.002+08:00

Day 1: My friends from KL promised to be at McD near the Ipoh Selatan exit at 8.30 am for them to stop for breakfast and for me to join them before heading to Banding Island. Since they weren’t too familiar with Ipoh, I figured I might as well give them the easiest landmark to look out for once they take the exit, and McD was simply so easy for them to spot after the exit.

By 9.30am, we made a move to Banding Island and made it there in about 2 hours. There we met up with the rest of the gang with the last one arriving at Banding at about 12.10 pm. Tom of Belum Eco-Resort was already there and since another group was there earlier, they went first in the 2 boats waiting to bring us to the resort. My group had to wait for the same boats to come back to fetch us.

We finally made a move from Banding jetty at 12.58pm…

Reached Belum Eco Resort at 1.16 pm…

left our bags at the houseboat which was our choice of accommodation…

and immediately went up to the dining deck for lunch.

After lunch, we went to the houseboat to freshen up and to do our solat jamak zohor/asar and by 2.56 pm off we headed to Pulau Talikail. Got there in about 10 minutes and started our trek up to the lookout tower.

The climb up took us about 40 minutes. After all the huffing and puffing, it was worth the climb! The view from up there was magnificent!

We spent about 20 minutes up there. Couldn’t stay too long as there were another 2 groups behind us and we could already hear the thunder. Getting down back to the boat took us about half an hour.

It was free and easy back at the houseboat while waiting for dinner time. After the climb up to the lookout tower, all the adults wanted to do was to rest. But the kids (the duracell bunnies) never seemed to get tired. They wanted to fish, they wanted to swim, they wanted to kayak. Oh dear! But nope, none of them got what they wanted. Not on day 1.

We had steamboat for dinner…

and after dinner we were shown a documentary on rafflesia.

Day 2: We woke up to a beautiful scene so serene…

The kids again begged… err no… pestered their parents to do this and that, but there was another island hopping trip in the morning, so the parents didn’t budge. After breakfast on day 2, we were in the motorboats again.

First stop, the rafflesia site, hoping to see a blooming rafflesia. The trekking wasn’t as strenuous as the climb to the lookout tower on day 1, but thank goodness I still decided to wear my trekking shoes. We still had to do some climbing here and there, it was quite slippery at certain parts, and there were leeches!

We got to see dead a dead rafflesia…

but no sight of any blooming rafflesia. We did however see rafflesia buds, which I wouldn’t have known what they were had I not come for this trip.

Our next destination was an Orang Asli village.

After a while, we left the island and headed off to our next destination. On the way we saw beautiful sceneries such as this one…

The only scene spoiling the trip was this… sheesh!!

Our next destination was the waterfalls. Saw all sorts of trees and plants while trekking to the waterfall site. It took us about half an hour from the boat to trek to the waterfall site…

Had a splashing time at the waterfall, albeit for a mere 35 or 40 minutes before we had to head back to the boat. While waiting at a shelter, for the gang behind me to catch up with us, a guy who I think works with WWF, came to us and said he wanted to show us something which can rarely be found… lantern bugs!

After the waterfall, we headed back to the resort. Got there at 2.30pm and immediately headed for lunch. Then back to the houseboat for our prayer and a short rest. The kids of course found the “rest” to be a waste of time. They wanted to swim! Thank goodness while they were pestering the parents, it rained!! So they didn’t have a choice, and the adults managed to get a short nap!

As promised, after the rain subsided, the children were given a chance to swim in the lake, with adult supervision. I wasn’t one of the adults supervising the kids… I had other plans for myself. I (with 3 others) went kayaking around the island…

and saw a beautiful rainbow while doing so…

After dinner, there was another documentary, this time on Royal Belum. Then it was back to the houseboat… chit chat… and zzzzz….

Day 3: Managed to catch the sunrise at Tasik Temenggor…

Breakfast is usually served after 8 am, and since I’m not the type to sleep after my subuh prayer, I decided to go kayaking once again before breakfast, this time bringing along my camera with a recharged battery (the day before the battery was already weak so I didn’t bring it along in the kayak with me). Besides, I had asked Steve, the owner of the resort, if there were any hornbills around, and he specified that the birds are usually seen at a certain part of the island in the morning around 7.30. So together with my same kayak partner, we went to that section of the island at about that time… and yes, we finally saw a few hornbills. Too bad my camera wasn’t good enough to shoot long distance objects…

Back at the houseboat, the kids finally got to do some fishing.

Well, somebody else went fishing and got the attention of a dragonfly instead…

For our journey back to Banding jetty, the owners of the resort decided to bring all 30 over guests at the resort in a houseboat (not the one I was staying in, but the one beside it). Since the houseboat takes longer, we had to make a move from the resort earlier. We departed from the resort at about 10.20 am…

(The one you can see in the picture was the houseboat we stayed in for 2 nights)

and reached Banding jetty an hour later…

I had a wonderful time. It was really worth the trip.

For those of you who love nature and adventure, I’d recommend you go there too.

Remembering 9/17

2011-09-17T12:01:00.002+08:00

Year in, year out, people seem to remember 9/11.

Remember 9/17? Way back in 1982? In Sabra & Shatila?

Visiting the OA village… and a day at the clinic…

2011-09-14T18:34:00.001+08:00

When the organisers of an upcoming awareness programme first went to visit the Orang Asli village where the event is supposed to be held, reps of a few NGOs who are participating went together with them to check out the place. However, I only got the info after the visit, so I wasn’t able to join the first visit.

Yesterday a few members of the organising committee decided to make another visit to settle some things, and I was invited to join them since I missed the first one. The plan was that we were to meet up at the office of the Legal Aid Centre at Ipoh old town at 9.30 am and from there we’d all go in one 4-wheel drive.

Under normal circumstances, I should be able to get there in less than 15 minutes. So, when I made a move at 9 am, I thought I’d be early. To my dismay, there was MAJOR jam in town, something seldom seen in Ipoh. Apparently quite a number of roads were closed due to the Hari Malaysia rehearsal, including the road leading to the Legal Aid Centre office!

There was no way I could turn back once I got into the jam, so I just had to bear with it and continue driving towards the area. I called up the lawyer who had invited me to join them earlier, and apparently he too was caught in the jam, so he told me to just find a parking space and walk over to their office.

With everyone else having somewhat the same mission, finding a parking wasn’t easy either. I ended up parking my car at a spot which wasn’t a proper parking space. I figured as long as the car wasn’t obstructing anything or anyone, I couldn’t care less. Then I walked over to the office, thinking I was already late. It was already 10 am by then. Crossing the road was a breeze though since cars weren’t allowed into that road.

It turned out the lawyer was even later than I was! He only made it to the office 15 minutes later than me. Anyway, to cut a long short, we (5 of us) finally made a move after 11 am (and I managed to park my car at a proper parking space before we left). The Orang Asli village we were going to, Ulu Geroh, is accessible by car, tarred most of the way, but there was a certain stretch passing through a palm oil plantation where it is advisable to use 4WD or at least vehicles higher than normal cars.

But I loved the journey. The sound of water flowing in the river was so soothing! White water rafting and body rafting is quite famous in this area…

Whatever it is, I am now trying to arrange with a lady from another NGO to go in their 4WD. She will probably be the only one representing her NGO at the event, but doesn’t dare drive at the kampong, while I dare drive but don’t have a 4WD. My car may be able to make it if I am super careful, but I dare not take the risk as the very next day I will be using my car to drive to Penang for the National Aids Conference.

Let’s see how it goes. We still have another 2 weeks to make the necessary arrangements.

This morning I was on clinic duty. When I first went to the doctor’s room, the nurse did say there were a few new cases so I just went over to the support service room to wait. I waited and waited and waited… by 11 am there was still no case referred. I was getting sleepy waiting in the room. Finally the nurse came in to refer one guy to us. When she passed me the file and I saw the name of the guy, I thought the name looked familiar. Indeed, he was the one who had called me earlier to ask what he needed to do to get an appointment at the hospital.

You see, Nordin had known about his HIV infection since 10 years ago when he had to do a medical examination during one of his job applications. But the doctor at the private clinic just informed him he was HIV+, no referrals whatsoever given for him to follow up. Nordin himself, feeling okay, didn’t bother to take further action.

It was only recently when he started feeling unwell, he decided to get the necessary treatment. But he wasn’t sure how to go about. That was when he decided to call us.

To get an appointment at the HIV clinic, he’d first need a referral letter. So, since he could afford it, I advised him to go for a blood test at a private lab, specifying he wanted the HIV test, and then when the results are out, to get a referral letter from the doctor there. And so he did just that, and finally managed to get the referral letter. Today was his first appointment at the hospital.

With a CD4 of 128, chances were Nordin would have to start with HAART immediately. When asked who else knew about his HIV, he mentioned that only his younger sis knew. His work colleagues were concerned that he had lost weight but none of them suspected he had HIV. Apparently they all thought Nordin “kena bomoh” as that was what a former supervisor threatened to do to Nordin before he left his job. Nordin of course had no problem with his colleagues thinking that way. He’d rather have them think as such rather than suspect he has HIV…

Well, that was the only case referred today. Didn’t get to see the other case as the guy was immediately sent to the ward while one other person didn’t turn up at all.

Back to busy mode

2011-09-12T22:29:00.001+08:00

I received a text message on Saturday from Fuzi’s eldest daughter, Wina (using Fuzi’s phone) asking if I could help buy a pendrive for her. She has got a free netbook from school but needs a pendrive to store her work. Wina is under our sponsorship programme, so buying something for school work is not a problem at all. At least she’s using the computer for work, as compared to Sofie’s eldest son Azlan who also got a free netbook for himself but his siblings seem to be using it only to play games.

So this morning I went to buy a pendrive for Wina and later in the afternoon I went to visit the family, my second Raya visit this year after visiting Zalia on Saturday.

The moment I got to Fuzi’s house, I saw all her 3 boys playing outside. Hmmm… weren’t 2 of the boys supposed to be in school? I found out from Fuzi later that Ijam, the one in primary school, has been given alternate days off this week in view of the UPSR exams. As for his older brother, Hafiz, who is in form one, he wasn’t affected by the UPSR exams, but seeing that his brother got the day off, decided to ponteng. Ahh, no wonder he disappeared the moment he saw my car – he didn’t want to hear my advise (read: nagging) about the importance of education bla bla bla…

Fuzi had always been “blackmailing” him, saying that if he got into any more trouble in school… “Nanti mama minta makcik Afizah hantar kamu pergi rumah anak yatim!” So I guess today he decided to stay off my radar…

Anyway, Fuzi mentioned that the children had been pestering her, saying that they wanted to go jalan-jalan for Raya. Since they didn’t have any other family nearby, Fuzi called up Sofie to ask if it was okay for her family to visit hers. Sofie welcomed the idea of course, since she herself couldn’t afford to go back to her own kampong up north. Good to know that Fuzi and Sofie are taking the effort to visit/call each other. I hope my other clients too will follow up on one another after we introduce them during our family day outings or any other gatherings.

I myself have yet to visit Sofie’s family after Raya. I don’t think I’ll be able to visit this week either as I already have other plans. I think I will visit her next week, bringing with me supply of groceries for this month.

Tomorrow I will be joining the organisers of an awareness programme at an Orang Asli village to recce the place before the event in early October. On Wednesday I will be on clinic duty. On Thursday I have some personal stuff to settle. And on Friday I will be going off for a short break during the 3 day weekend – away from the city and back to nature…

Living separately again…

2011-09-10T21:10:00.001+08:00

Having completed my puasa 6 yesterday, today I started my post-Raya house visits. Initially I was planning to start my visits on Monday, but Zalia contacted me saying that she had got all the documents ready (to apply for financial assistance for her 2 year old daughter) and asked when I could come to get them from her. She’d be heading back to her foster mom’s home next week.

Remember Zalia? The young mother who had a misunderstanding with her own mother? She was staying with her foster mother in a rented house in Ipoh while her 2 year old daughter stayed with the little girl’s grandparents. As per my posting here, I managed to send Zalia back to her parent’s home and so she was reunited with her daughter.

But when I went to visit just before Raya to deliver diapers and milk for her daughter, to my surprise, Zalia’s mother told me that Zalia had moved out to stay with her foster mother again, only this time she took her daughter along with her, and in another town. But Zalia’s mom did tell me that the two would be coming home for Raya and so I left the diapers and milk with the mother.

Today when I went to visit, I could see that the mother wasn’t happy with Zalia’s decision to stay with her foster mother. But she just simply didn’t want to say it out in front of me (she may have told Zalia straight in the face when I wasn’t around, I don’t know for sure). When Zalia went to her room for a while to get some documents, her mother complained to me, “Raya hari tu pun dia balik sini entah Raya ke berapa entah. Bukan balik sebelum Raya.”

I asked Zalia what she does at the home of her foster mother. Is she working or something? “Takde lah apa, tolong jaga mak angkat sakit.”

Hmmm… by the looks of it, I think the 2 simply couldn’t stay together in the same house. Zalia is stubborn and couldn’t stand her mother’s nagging, while her mother couldn’t stand the fact that Zalia didn’t want to listen to her, even when it’s for her own good. Zalia’s father? Well, he’s silent most of the time.

I just hope that the situation wouldn’t get back to square one when her case was first referred to me. At that time they weren’t even speaking to each other and Zalia was afraid to go home even to meet her own daughter. Now that she has taken her daughter with her, I hope Zalia will still bring the little girl to meet her grandparents and young aunts from time to time.

For the moment, since I managed to get supplies of milk & diapers for her daughter until the end of the year, I will continue to deliver the stuff to her parent’s home here in Ipoh. If Zalia wants them, she will have to go back to her parent’s home. That way I can be sure she takes the effort to go home at least once a month.

But I can’t be too sure about the situation once the last of the supplies are delivered by the end of this year…

Back to work… sort of…

2011-09-06T14:57:00.001+08:00

Alhamdulillah, this time during my Raya break there were no “disturbances” relating to my voluntary work. My clients and fellow volunteers this time allowed me to raya in peace. :-)

After a whole week of break, it’s time to get back to work. But nope, I’m not planning for any house visits yet until I complete my puasa 6. During my Raya visits my clients would be happy to serve me food and drinks, and it wouldn’t be nice to turn them down. So, no visits until next week at least.

However, first day after the break, SN has already called me as there was a case needing a shelter home. Thank goodness she didn’t ask me to arrange for the guy’s transportation. She only asked if we could cover his transportation cost to go to the shelter home. That shouldn’t be a problem, since we do now have the Clients Welfare Fund, and with the recent RM20K cheque that we received during Ramadhan, I think we can put aside a certain amount for that particular fund.

Fuzi sent me a text message seeking my approval for her to buy reference books for her daughter who will be sitting for her PMR this year. I have always told my clients whose children are under our Sponsorship Programme to inform me if there were any needs relating to the children’s education, and buying reference books would definitely be approved. What usually pisses me off is when clients ask for money for other matters like Mrs K who asked if there was any duit raya… (she also used to ask if she could borrow money to pay for all sorts of things) or Rosnah who once asked if we could help her financially to get her car repaired! In contrast, there are some clients like Sofie and Nuri who had to fork out some money to buy schooling stuff for their children but never told me about it to enable me to reimburse them with the money. When asked why they didn’t inform me, they’d say, “Seganlah. Dah banyak sangat dah akak tolong.”

Since there will be no visits this week, and I will only be on clinic duty next week, this will still be a quiet week for me. I’m taking the opportunity to settle some admin matters. We didn’t have a board meeting last month.

I plan to visit a few clients early next week. No visits on Wednesday as I will be on clinic duty, and then I will be taking another short break during the long weekend of 16th – 18th September. The very next week, on the 23rd, I will have to bring my mother for her appointment in Putrajaya. The next week ie the final week of the month, I have 2 meetings (including our own board meeting), and a clinic duty to attend. And then the first week of October, I will be away for 3 days as I have already registered for the National AIDS Conference in Penang.

So yes, busy weeks ahead. I’d better make full use of the peace and quiet this week…

2011-08-29T11:35:00.002+08:00

Wishing all Muslims...

Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri

Maaf Zahir & Batin.

To all Malaysians...

Selamat Menyambut Hari Kemerdekaan.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Last rounds before Raya

2011-08-25T16:25:00.001+08:00

With Raya coming soon and lots of things to do at home, I wanted to make sure I settled all my visits and deliveries by this week. Went to visit Sofie on Tuesday, then yesterday I was on clinic duty. I still had diapers, milk and raya cookies in my car and I still had 2 pairs of baju raya with me, donated by a friend, to be given to Laila (the orphan) and her grandma. I was determined to settle everything by today.

So yes, this morning my first destination was Laila’s house. I knew the girl wouldn’t be home because she should be in school, but I was hoping to see the grandma and hand over the things to her. But when I got to the house, the door was closed, and it was rather quiet. I gave the salam – initially there was no answer and I was about to walk back to my car when I heard some voices inside. So I gave the salam again, and this time a young lady opened the door. I asked for Laila’s grandma but was told she wasn’t in. I then decided to leave the package with the young lady (Laila’s aunt).

Leaving Laila’s house, I called up Wan, the orang asli lady who stays in a kampong not reachable by car but in the same town. I was thinking if I could get hold of her, I could get her to come meet me halfway (she usually comes to town on her brother’s motorbike). But nope, she didn’t answer my call.

Next destination – Zalia’s house. The supply of diapers & milk for her daughter is due next week, but it will be Raya next week and I figured I might as well send her the diapers/milk this week. I tried to call, but my call couldn’t get through. Her house is reachable by car though, so I still went ahead to her house, or rather, her mother’s house.

Zalia’s mother came out upon seeing my car. I was told that Zalia no longer lives there and she was back staying with her mak angkat. And this time she brought her daughter along with her. Since they stay in another town, I wasn’t about to go to that town to visit, not without proper planning at least. So what about the diapers and milk powder?? Since the mother said Zalia promised to come back for Raya, I decided to leave the diapers/milk with her mother. Haiyah, these people… when they need help, they call me. Then after I get help for them, they don’t even bother to tell me when they move.

I also gave a paper bag with 3 jars of Raya cookies to Zalia’s mother who was so happy to receive them.

I still had another paper bag of Raya cookies in the car – which would have been given to Wan had she answered my call earlier, but since it wasn’t meant to be Wan’s rezeki, I decided to go to Fuzi’s house. I did visit her 2 weeks ago to deliver some groceries, but at that time I had not got the Raya cookies yet. Since she has 5 children, I suppose her children would appreciate the cookies more. This time I didn’t warn Fuzi I was coming. I figured she should be home because I knew her hospital appointment was just about 2 weeks ago.

As I got to her house, I didn’t have to honk. Fuzi was outside hanging some clothes. And when I opened my car door, I heard the voices of some children shouting, “Acik Fizah! Acik Fizah!” I turned around and saw Ijam and Iwan running towards my car. Ijam was waiting for his school bus to come pick him up in front of a neighbour’s house, while his younger brother waited with him to see him off. I didn’t see them earlier, but when they saw my car they ran back home.

I didn’t stay long though. I just gave the bag of goodies to Fuzi, plus some duit raya (donated by friends) for her to use. And when I left, only Ijam went back to wait for the bus, Iwan went in with his mom as he was more interested in the jars of cookies in the bag…

Later in the afternoon, I received a text message from Laila’s aunt. Her mother (Laila’s grandma) told her to tell me how much they appreciate the baju raya. Laila too was very happy with the present. Alhamdulillah.

So that was it for today – covered 98kms and 3 houses in 2 hours. No more goodies in my car to be delivered. I hereby declare that my cuti raya has begun!

It’s time for me to mow my lawn! (cuti indeed, huh?)

Sofie’s ex is back?

2011-08-23T23:00:00.001+08:00

I’ve only got a few days left to settle my Ramadhan visits. So yesterday I went to the hypermarket (again!) – this time to buy groceries for Sofie’s family, and also milk powder and diapers for Zalia’s daughter.

So this morning off I went heading to Sofie’s house. I had already told her last week (after I got the letter from the doctor as requested by Sofie earlier) that I’d be coming on Tuesday, so I didn’t bother to remind her again this morning.

But as I got to her house this morning, the house was quiet. The windows were closed, the wooden door (which doesn’t have a knob or handle – just a a rafia string) was closed but not fully shut, and the grill door was locked, with the keys at the door! From the door I could see Sofie’s 2nd son, Azman, sound asleep. I knocked on the door and gave the salam a few times, but nope, he didn’t budge. Sofie was nowhere to be seen either. So I decided to give Sofie a call. She was at the nearby district hospital to take some medication for her asthma. When I told her I was already at her house, she said she should be back in 10 minutes.

I decided to try wake Azman up again while waiting for Sofie to come back. Finally, he got up… looking a bit blur but when he saw me he immediately opened the door for me. And knowing that usually during my visits I’d bring along some groceries, he came out of the house and followed me to my car to help unload the groceries. This time other than the usual groceries, I also brought along some raya cookies.

“Tak sekolah ke?” I asked Azman.

“Hari ni betul-betul tak larat la makcik,” came the reply.

Apparently to get some extra income for himself, during the month of Ramadhan he helps out one guy staying in a nearby kampong to bake raya cookies to be sold and the guy would pay him some money on daily basis. Now that Raya is approaching very very soon, baking of the cookies is in full swing to fulfil orders and so on Monday night, they went on to work until 4 am before the guy sent Azman home. I told Azman he shouldn’t be working so late especially on a school day! As a result, he skipped school. And he will be sitting for his PMR this year! (but somehow Azman didn’t seem to be too bothered with his PMR)

Anyway, after a while Sofie got home. I passed her the letter from the doctor, and also some money being zakat given by some friends through me to be passed to deserving families, and Sofie certainly deserved it. She had been working hard to earn some income. For this year’s Ramadhan she had been making and supplying kuih to a canteen (but not really much because the supply was mainly for the non-Muslims) and from time to time she’d be helping out at one of the stalls at the nearby pasar Ramadhan whenever the stall owner needed an extra pair of hands at the stall.

With the income she had got so far, she has bought baju raya for her 2 younger children. Now she’s trying to get more money to buy baju raya for the older 2. I asked if she’d be going back to her hometown for Raya (she hails from somewhere up north). She said she wouldn’t be able to afford it – there’d be 5 tickets to buy if they were to balik kampong. When I asked if she’d be going to her mother-in-law’s house nearby, she said probably she’d just let her children go while she’d just stay home.

I got curious. I knew for a fact Sofie had been going to her MIL’s house quite regularly despite things not working out between her and her estranged ex-hubby, so why is she avoiding the MIL’s house now?

For the uninitiated, Sofie filed for divorce after her hubby stopped coming home for quite some time. He never even went back to his own mother’s house. Even when they were still married, the guy, a known Romeo, seldom came home. So what’s the whole point of marriage huh? The children had learnt to grow up without him.

Apparently, his family did try to search for him and one of them found him in KL. A whole lot thinner than before. And now his mother and his siblings are trying to bring him and Sofie back together again. Huh? After all that he had done… leaving her with nothing (but HIV)? Now that he is getting weaker his family wants him and Sofie to get back together? What on earth for? To add more burden on Sofie’s shoulders?!

Ahh, no wonder Sofie doesn’t want to spend Raya at her MIL’s house although it is not that far. She said she’d just let her children go over, and if they give the “line clear” indicating that their father is not there, then she may drop by for a while. If they say he’s there, she’d just stay home.

“Kalau dia yang datang sini macam mana?” I asked.

“Ahh, saya tutup tingkap, kunci pintu semua, dok diam-diam dalam rumah!” she replied.

Can’t blame her, really. I’d probably do the same if I were her…

Activities over the weekend

2011-08-21T22:42:00.002+08:00

One more weekend before Hari Raya. By this coming weekend, I’ll be busy with own family matters at home, and so I’ll be taking time off from my voluntary work. I’d probably still get all those text messages from clients to wish me Selamat Hari Raya, but that’s about all involving my clients, I think…

So this past weekend I spent time doing matters related to my voluntary work.

On Saturday I went to visit Zainab at her new rented home. I had wanted to visit earlier during one of the weekdays, but Zainab had to work and I didn’t want to visit with just her hubby, Zaki, at home. When she told me Saturday was her off-day (she works on shift), I decided to visit the family on Saturday morning, after my pasar tani routine. After given the address by Zainab, I set the address in my GPS – although Zainab stays in Ipoh, the place she stays is not too familiar to me.

It wasn’t too much of a problem finding her house with the help of my GPS. Just as I was looking out for the house number, I saw Zaki about to come out of the house. Zaki went back in to wake Zainab up. You see, Zainab was on night shift the day before and so she slept in the morning, thinking I wouldn’t be there too early.

The house they’re staying now seems more comfortable then the previous house. However, they are sharing the house with another couple. The other couple found the rental of RM250 per month a bit too high for them and so they offered Zainab and Zaki to share the rent with them. The house has 3 rooms.

Zaki however, is still not working. He can give 1001 reasons why he had to quit almost every job he landed up with. Now he plans to stay at his mother’s house in another town as nobody is staying there now after his mother passed away 2 weeks ago. Zainab, however, cannot move together with her husband as that would mean quitting her job. What will the family survive on?

Not sure yet how the plan will work, or if the children will be following their father. We’ll just have to wait and see…

On Sunday, I had to attend the following function…

Yep, Buddies of Ipoh was again chosen as one of the recipients of funds granted by Yayasan Sultan Azlan Shah. The last one given was 2 years ago. At that time over 70 organisations were chosen to receive RM20K each. This time there were only 65 organisations receiving funds of the same amount. The Pemangku Raja himself presented the cheques to representatives of the organisations and so we had to be there an hour early for the briefing and rehearsal.

They ended up just explaining what to do and say, but only rehearsed for the first 2 rows of recipients. I was somewhere at the back row, and so the emcee didn’t get to announce The Buddies Society of Ipoh during the rehearsal. Knowing the high possibility of the emcees announcing our name as Buddhist instead of Buddies, I got up and approached the 2 emcees.

“Saya nak pastikan sebutan betul ya. Orang suka sebut Buddhist, padahalnya Buddies. Kang sebut Buddhist terkejut pulak orang tengok saya yang mengadap,” I said. The guy then responded, “Ha’ah ek, nanti apa pulak orang ingat.”

So yeah, this time they announced the name correctly… and I went home a happy mak aji with a RM20K cheque for my NGO.

To the hospital – twice in 2 days…

2011-08-19T15:40:00.003+08:00

As I was sitting at my work table on Wednesday, a call came in on my hand phone with the Mission Impossible ring-tone. That ring-tone indicated that the call came from one of my PLHIV clients. I tend to get a bit worried whenever I hear that ring-tone. More often that not, it would mean one of my clients was in some kind of trouble and needed help.

This time the call was from Sofie, and it wasn’t really too much of a problem. Apparently she had registered for a programme which helps the poor, and an officer from the said programme called her up to ask for details and what kind of help she was seeking. Sofie, being the type who prefers to be independent but still unable to, asked if they could help out with whatever equipments needed for her to set up a stall selling kuih near her house. The officer then said they’d be coming to visit one of these days and told her to get whatever supporting documents including a supporting letter from the doctor.

And since yesterday was a public holiday in Perak, Sofie called me and asked if I could arrange to get the letter from the doctor. I told Sofie she should call the clinic herself, and speak to the staff nurse, explaining why she needed the letter. Knowing SN, she’d usually want the patients themselves to call her personally if they needed anything from the clinic. I told Soife that I’d also follow up with SN, and I don’t mind getting the letter and send it to Sofie when the letter is ready.

Later the same day, Wani called me up. Wani is the one who works for a friend during Ramadhan every year, making a few types of cookies, to be sold for Raya. For the past 2 years, Wani had sought my help to get orders for her. I had given her the orders last week, and since she was coming for her appointment on Thursday, she said she’d bring along the cookies with her to the hospital.

So yep, although I wasn’t on clinic duty yesterday, I still went to the hospital. The day before being a public holiday, yesterday there were sooooo many people! I had to go 4 rounds just to get a parking space quite a distance from the hospital.

When I got to the doctor’s room and asked the nurses if Wani had come, together they said, “Ha, ni mesti nak ambik kuih raya ni!” Ah, they too had ordered some cookies from Wani…

SN also mentioned about Sofie wanting a letter from the doctor, which meant Sofie had already called her. The other nurse said, “Dia nak surat mintak doktor kata dia tak boleh buat kerja berat. Nak surat buat apa? Tengok rupa dia pun tau dah!” Oh well, the officer who called her had not seen her yet. But since the officer had already asked for the letter, might as well get the letter ready before they come visiting.

As I was talking to the nurses, Wani came to the room and then we went to get the cookies which were kept in another room, courtesy of the nurse. With my car parked quite a distance, I was supposed to carry all these?

Wani offered to carry the box to my car, but instead I told her to wait near the staircase downstairs with the box while I went to get my car. It was much easier that way. Nobody would have to carry the box that far. The moment I got there with my car, Wani was ready to put the box into the car.

This morning, as I was getting ready to go out and deliver the cookies to my former office-mates who ordered them, a text message came in from SN, telling me that the letter for Sofie was ready.

So yes, after delivering some of the cookies to my former office-mates, off to the hospital again for the 2nd time in 2 days, despite not being on clinic duty on either day. I guess the hospital has become some sort of office for me. Thankfully, today, finding a parking wasn’t too bad. All I wanted to take was just the letter… in just about a minute or so, I was out of there. It took me longer to walk from the car to the clinic.

I immediately informed Sofie that the letter was already with me and that I plan to visit her family next week to deliver some groceries and so I’d pass her the letter then.

Meanwhile, tomorrow I plan to visit Zainab. She has moved to another house (the former landlord wanted the old house back for her own family’s use) and had given me the new address. Tomorrow my friend Mrs G (for GPS) will have to show me the way to Zainab’s new place…

Maria’s dilemma

2011-08-17T10:15:00.001+08:00

When I got home after my clinic duty last week, Maria called me up. I did meet her earlier at the hospital, but she had not seen the doctor yet then. So while we did have a short chat, there was nothing new she had to tell me.

By the time she was done with her appointment with the doctor, I had already gone home. So she called, saying that the doctor had given her a referral letter for an appointment at the psychiatric clinic. Maria got a bit nervous and told me she was afraid to go there alone. Well yes, she’s got a husband, but as far as possible, he avoids going to the hospital with her. The only times I ever met him were one during the initial stage when Maria was diagnosed +ve (he was called to get tested as well) and the other time was after Maria delivered.

I promised Maria I’d accompany her for her first appointment at the psychiatric clinic. That was supposed to be yesterday afternoon. On Monday I sent her a text message to confirm if I got the right date and time. Maria told me she’d have to reconfirm with me. Not that she got confused with the dates, but because she wasn’t sure if she would be able to come.

You see, Maria works as an assistant at a private kindergarten. Not wanting anyone to know she has HIV, every time she has to come to Ipoh for her appointments, she’d take annual leave without telling her boss that she needed to go to the hospital, to avoid questions being asked on why she needed to do so. Her appointment at the HIV clinic was last week. Which means she already took a day off last week. Having to go to the psychiatric clinic this week would mean she’d need to take another day off. She doesn’t want to tell her boss that she needs to go to a psychiatric clinic either!

“Gurubesar saya dah bisinglah kak, banyak sangat ambil cuti bulan ni.”

Yesterday morning, the day of the appointment, Maria sent me another text message to inform me that her leave was not approved. She then asked me if she should postpone or simply cancel her appointment. “Akak tengok saya macam mana? Perlu pergi ke?”

Woah! She was asking my opinion on her and if I think she really needs to see a psychiatrist? Alamak, I’d better be careful in answering her question. Both yes and no would have implications. Luckily she asked via SMS so I had time to think. And while I was thinking of what to tell her, another text message came in from her, asking if I knew the psychiatric clinic’s phone number. She wanted to call them to arrange for a postponement. Phew! Saved me from having to answer her question.

Anyway, some people may say Maria should discuss the matter with her boss so that the boss may understand her situation better and empathise. But we must also remember that another possibility is, if told that Maria has to go to the HIV clinic, and now psychiatric clinic, her boss may just tell her to quit the job! And the news about her being HIV positive and needing to see a psychiatrist too may just be made known to others as well. Maria didn’t want to take that risk.

So looks like Maria’s appointment has to be postponed. I hope she managed to get that postponement without much hassle. Poor thing… it’s such an awkward situation for her. She’s probably getting even more depressed trying to get that leave without telling anyone why she needs it.

Visiting a new client

2011-08-12T18:03:00.001+08:00

Having delivered groceries to 2 families on Tuesday, and having a hectic day at the clinic on Wednesday, yesterday I was planning to go out shopping again to stock up on the groceries to be delivered to the other needy families. As I was getting ready, a text message came in from a young chap, Vincent.

Vincent had emailed me earlier from Singapore, seeking my help on how he should go about to set up an appointment at the HIV clinic at Ipoh GH. I told him I could help him out if need be and so I gave him my number. I didn’t expect him to contact me so soon though. Just the day before he was emailing from Singapore and the very next morning he texted me saying he was already at the Ipoh GH.

Just as I was about to call him, another call came in on my hand phone. It was from the HIV clinic. The nurse had just called Hasnah, a PLHIV who was supposed to come for her appointment on Wednesday but did not turn up. The nurse was concerned because Hasnah had been on HAART for some time and missing her appointment would mean her supply of ARV was running out as well. When asked why, Hasnah started crying saying she didn’t have any money to come to Ipoh (her place is more than an hour’s drive away). She even went to the extent of saying, “Saya rasa macam nak bunuh diri.”

The nurse got rather concerned. She asked if Hasnah had ever met anyone from Buddies and when Hasnah said no, the nurse immediately told her, “OK takpe, jangan susah hati. Nanti saya telefon Kak Afizah bagitau.” Indeed, immediately the nurse called me up. Since I was going to the hospital anyway to meet up with Vincent, I told the nurse, I’d drop by the clinic to get all her particulars.

So yes, off to the hospital I went. I had promised Vincent I’d call him once I got there and so that was the first thing I did, asking him where he was exactly. He was at the main building where the wards were, not at the specialist clinic where he was supposed to go. So I told him to meet me halfway. But we didn’t know how each other looked like so I just told him I was wearing green and he said he was wearing white…. (as though lah nobody else would be wearing green and white kaaan?)

Oh well, we did manage to find each other. It wasn’t really so difficult… there was this lady in green looking as though she was looking out for a guy in white. And there was this young chap in white looking as though he was looking for a lady in green. *chuckle*

I then got him to follow me to the specialist clinic, told him to wait in front of the registration counter while I went in to see the nurses at the doctor’s room.

I handed over Vincent’s referral letter to the nurses and they handed over Hasnah’s file to me so I could take down her particulars. I immediately called Hasnah, asked if I could visit her the next day, and she agreed. So the nurses gave me a month’s supply of ARV to be given to Hasnah. SN even gave me some condoms to be passed over to Hasnah. You see, Hasnah got HIV from her first husband who, after 3 kids, left her just like that after he married another woman 13 years ago. Their youngest child then was only a year old. They got divorced but the ex never bothered to pay her any alimony nor did he bother about his 3 children anymore.

2 years ago Hasnah remarried. The husband, despite knowing that Hasnah was HIV+, went on to marry her, and even got her pregnant. Their daughter is now a year old, and the husband, so far, still tested negative for HIV. But he doesn’t have a fixed income – doing odd jobs at the kampong where they stay. Sometimes he gets more, sometimes he gets less, sometimes he gets nothing at all. I suppose this time he hasn’t got enough to enable his wife to come to Ipoh for her appointment.

So this morning off I went to visit Hasnah. Since her kampong is not listed in my Papago GPS, neither could I find it in Google map, I had no choice but to depend on my own internal GPS – Guna Pertimbangan Sendiri. I did still use my Papago GPS though, set to the nearest school. Once I passed the school, I called Hasnah to get further directions to get to her house. She told me to just drive straight in until I got to a row of houses and to call her again once I got there.

I had to drive another 6 or 7 kilometres in before passing the row of houses and then I called her again.

Me: “Akak dah sampai simpang tiga ni.”

Hasnah: “Akak jalan terus lagi.”

Me: “Errrr… terus?? Kalau terus akak masuk parit…”

Hasnah: “Eh, jap, jap! Saya tanya sepupu saya…. ohhhh…. akak belok kanan pastu teruuuuuus je sampai naik bukit, nanti nampak jalan xxx.”

Boy, they sure love to use the word TERUS when giving road directions, don’t they?

That was the only hiccup though. I did manage to find her house. The house looked pretty nice and quite big I must say. One look and you may think she’s not poor. But she is, really.

You see, all the while after her divorce, Hasnah was supported by her mother, who, as a first generation Felda settler, got some fixed monthly income. Hasnah never really had a problem when her mother was around. But her mother unexpectedly passed away early last year at the age of 62. Just before she died, she got the house renovated by getting a loan. After her death, the monthly income from Felda had to be used to repay the loan. There was a small extension at the back of the house, which the mother made specifically for Hasnah, telling the rest of the siblings, who stay elsewhere, that should anything happen to her (the mother), the extension is for Hasnah’s family.

As for the main house, for the moment Hasnah looks after the house, and would move to her own extension unit when her other siblings comes home for Raya or any family gatherings. Hasnah doesn’t have to pay rent, but she still has to pay for utilities. Ever since her mother died, there were already a few times when either their water or electricity supply were about to get cut off. Hasnah really really felt the hardship since slightly more than a year ago. Her eldest brother does give her about RM200 a month, but now with a toddler in the house, that amount is not even enough for the toddler alone.

Her 3 older children are all in secondary school now, one will be sitting for his SPM this year. Hasnah has yet to pay for her eldest son’s necessary fees. I told Hasnah we should have no problem helping out with her children’s educational needs.

I then took out the load of groceries from my car and before I left, I gave her some cash, courtesy of friends who read my FB status update about Hasnah.

“Alhamdulillah, murah rezeki saya hari ni. Terima kasih kak.”

To the donors, the terima kasih is meant for you too.

A hectic day at the clinic

2011-08-10T22:56:00.001+08:00

Usually during any of our clinic duties, we’d get at the most 3 or 4 cases each time, with maybe only one or two problematic ones… sometimes none at all. So when I went for my clinic duty today, I had expected the same thing.

I had brought along with me a few of the “Positive Living” booklets. SN called me on Monday to ask if I had any of the Malay and Tamil version of the booklets as she had run out of those. I didn’t have any Tamil ones, but there were a few more of the Malay version at our centre, and so I brought those for SN.

The moment I got into the doctor’s room, SN immediately told me about the case of one guy whom we sent to a shelter home in Penang less than 2 months ago. The guy apparently ran away from the home and is now back in Ipoh, homeless. He felt the home was too strict with regulations. Likewise there was another guy whom I had sent to a shelter home in Selangor, who also decided to leave the place and is now back in Ipoh. I remember buying t-shirts and trackbottom for the guy as otherwise I would have to bring him in hospital clothes because he didn’t have any other clothes. This guy left the home because he wasn’t in good terms with another occupant of the home.

Aiyoh!! As the doctor said, they don’t want to stay in shelter homes, they want to stay in hotels where they don’t have to pay! Susah… susah… tolong susah, tak tolong pun susah…

Anyway, after about a 15 minute chat with SN (about the above cases, about Shila’s death, about another PLHIV who seemed interested to join Buddies etc), she told me there was a new case they wanted to refer to me. So off I went to the counselling room, getting ready to meet up with the new cases to be referred.

The first case referred was a guy in his 50’s, married to a young wife, and they have a 5 year old daughter. He works as a carpenter, not earning much, while his wife doesn’t work. While I did manage to get some info from him, when I started getting into more details, he couldn’t understand me. Luckily the pharmacist in the same room, upon hearing our conversation, helped me out to speak to the guy in Chinese. Knowing that his child may need help with schooling necessities when she goes to kindergarten next year, I told the guy I’d assign him one of our Chinese volunteers so it will easier for him to communicate with us.

Next up, one lady was brought in by the nurse. Her husband had just been diagnosed +ve this year, and recent tests confirmed that the lady, Shanti, too was positive. Today was her first appointment with the doctor. Shanti’s husband just started work recently as a lorry driver. They have a 6 year old daughter who is already in kindergarten and will start schooling next year. Another case needing assistance from our Children Education Fund (CEF). A buddy will need to be assigned.

Next case brought in was a prison case. The PLHIV came handcuffed to a policeman, with another policeman escorting as well. Not much for me to say except to explain to him particularly on the do’s and don’ts.

Then, the nurse came in and said to me, “Ni ada satu lagi pregnant case.” The lady brought in looked somewhat matured, so initially I thought it was a married case. Another lady came in with her – whom I thought to be the mother or older sister. Only when I looked at her file did I realise that it was another of those unwed pregnancy cases. The lady, 30, hails from another state and is only in Perak to be placed at the shelter home for problematic young women, temporarily. The home is full to the brim and so for unwed pregnancy cases, they’d only allow shelter until 2 weeks after delivery. Frankly, I didn’t expect a 30 year old to be placed there. Usually they take only problematic teenagers.

I didn’t assign any buddies for this case. She’s due to deliver in October and when I asked what her plans were when she has to leave the shelter, she looked at me with that amused look and said, “Balik rumahlah, ke mana lagi?” Duh! Silly me huh? She probably never heard of those cases where the unwed mothers had no “home” to go back to.

Next up, another lady, Aiza, who is in her late 20’s. She had just been diagnosed this year when her husband was hospitalised. Her husband died this year. Aiza stays in a kampong I’ve never heard of, and when I asked if she has a job, she told me she’s a rubber tapper. Wow… she must be the most rugged rubber tapper I’ve ever met! :-) Aiza has no children, so I don’t have to worry about children education, but she sounded interested in the activities that we organise, so I told her I’d be calling her from time to time.

Just when I thought there were no more cases for the day, the nurse said there was another new case. Well, not really a new case…. but a new case at the Ipoh ID clinic. You see, the guy had been in UK for the past 2 years and just came back recently. He had already started his ARV medication when he was in the UK. When the nurse asked the guy and his brother who came along with him if they could speak Malay, they both said, “Aiyo, ta boleh la…” “Sikit-sikit?” “Sikit-sikit boleh la…”

So yes, they came in and I had to speak to them in the most broken Malay I could attempt. Then I remembered, hey, this guy just came back from the UK, so I tried speaking to him in English. Gosh, his English was even worse than his Malay. How on earth did he survive in the UK?? I did manage to get them to understand that I’d be assigning one of our Chinese volunteers as his buddy. The guy said, “Chinese man hokeh. I donno how to speak Malayu.” (And in my head I was thinking…. Engrish oso you cannot speak lor…)

That was it – the 6 new cases I met today. A record for me. 4 of them assigned buddies. I did get to see 2 of my old clients… Maria and Lin, but since I was busy with the new cases, I didn’t get to chat much with them, although I did manage to inform them about Shila’s death. They both knew and had met Shila before.

When I got home, Maria called me up asking if I was still at the hospital. When I told her I was already at home, she asked if I could help her out next week.

“Kak, doktor refer saya ke clinic psychiatric pulak minggu depan. Saya tak berani la pergi sorang-sorang.”

Oh dear, psychiatric? Has she been having depression? I know she was very depressed initially when she was first diagnosed +ve 5 years ago, but I thought she had gotten over it. Wonder what’s going on now…

I promised to accompany her on her appointment day. Good chance for me to have a long chat with her and to find out what’s going on in her life…

Helping the living…

2011-08-09T16:46:00.002+08:00

When Shila died about 10 days ago, my main concern then was to ensure her daughter, Laila, would continue to get our support, especially pertaining to her education. So, while I had not planned any visits last week, I did visit Laila on Saturday, not only to discuss about Laila’s needs, but also to hand over the donations I managed to collect from friends.

This week, it’s back to my normal routine of home and clinic visits. It’s the living ones that I have to help, not much I can do for the dead except to doa for them.

When I told Faridah’s sis-in-law last week that the shelter home in KL had agreed to take in Faridah under their care, she agreed to meet up with me during Faridah’s appointment at the hospital on Monday. So yesterday morning, I went over to the hospital, not for clinic duty, but specifically to meet up with Faridah and her SIL. And unlike usual, yesterday I was rather lucky when a car got out of a parking lot right beside the specialist clinic building as I was passing there, and yes, I got myself the nearest parking possible! Such luck – it doesn’t happen often!

It was about 9.30 am then, and Faridah’s SIL told me last week that they should be there around 10 am. But when I went up to the doctor’s room, the nurses told me that Faridah and her SIL had just left. And their appointment wasn’t supposed to be yesterday either… it was supposed to be this morning! The SIL wrongly looked at the date.

Since they had just left, chances were they were still at the hospital. I immediately called the SIL to ask where they were and true enough, they were still at the hospital. The SIL promised to come back up to the clinic to meet me.

Actually they (or more of the SIL, since Faridah herself simply follows whatever people tell her to do) had gone to the clinic this time to ask for a referral letter so that Faridah’s case could be transferred to KL. The intention was that once they got the letter they could immediately send Faridah over to KL. The problem was, they had not informed the clinic of their intention earlier, and so the clinic couldn’t issue the letter there and then. Even the doctor wasn’t in yet.

The nurses promised to call once the letter is done. And although I did tell the SIL to inform me once they decide when exactly they are sending Faridah, so I could alert the person in charge at the shelter home, the SIL thought she’d inform me on the day itself. Aiyo, susahlah like that… what if the people at the shelter home has other programmes on the day? This time when I asked, she said very likely they will send Faridah this week, as soon as they could get the referral letter. So I immediately called up the person in charge at the shelter home to inform her that Faridah would be coming some time this week, without specifying the exact day.

Today I continued with my house visits and delivery groceries. As usual, I’d get more donations during Ramadhan, and so I could buy more groceries and help out more families. I had bought the groceries last week and left them at our centre so this morning I didn’t have to go buy anything, I just went straight to the centre and loaded all the stuff into my car.

First destination was Fuzi’s house. Before I left the centre, I called her first to make sure she was in. She’s not really the type who often goes out anywhere, but I didn’t want to end up going to her house when she’s in Ipoh for her hospital appointment. Apparently she was in Ipoh yesterday for her appointment and so she’s home today. Perfect timing.

When I got to her house, her 3 boys were playing outside while her 2 girls were at school. The 2 boys’ school bus would usually come and fetch them around 11 am, while the youngest, Iwan, is only 5 years old. I got Hafiz and Ijam, 2 older boys to help carry the groceries from my car. Didn’t give anything to Iwan although he offered to help… all the stuff were too heavy for him to carry.

When I told Fuzi about Shila’s death, she was shocked. “Kan masa hari keluarga hari tu, dia elok saja kak? Dia meninggal kerna HIV ya kak?” she asked in her still strong Indonesian accent. I told her Shila’s death had nothing to do with HIV. She had heart problems. The next question Fuzi asked was whether Shila’s body was bathed by people from the hospital although Shila died at home. She thought since Shila had HIV, nobody else would dare bathe the body. Her jaw almost dropped when I told her I handled everything.

“Habis tu, kakak pakai segala tutup mulut, apron semua itu?” she asked again.

I told her there was nothing for me to be afraid of as HIV doesn’t get transmitted so easily, to which she responded, “Itulah yang saya hairan kak. Doktor bagitau saya tak mengapa kongsi makanan, pinggan gelas apa bagai, tapi waktu si Ijam masuk hospital seminggu kena denggi hari tu, sakit hati saya kak… semuanya diasingkan untuk Ijam. Makanan pun diberi makanan bungkus bukan dalam tray seperti orang lain. Sampai ada orang tanya saya kenapa begitu.”

Well yes, she’s got a point there. The stigma still exists amongst the hospital staff themselves and naturally other people would think the hospital people should know better than people like me…

Anyway, after leaving Fuzi’s house, I called up Aini. The last time I visited her was at the hospital when she was hospitalised right before our Family Day. And yes, she was home. Her hospital appointment will only be some time middle of this month. I prefer to visit her when her children are at school so we could freely talk about her HIV. None of her children or any other family members know about her HIV.

There was a child with Aini in the house when I got there – the boy Aini babysits. The only source of income for Aini other than the monthly welfare aid of RM300. But the boy knows nothing and Aini herself freely talked about her HIV, the problem with her early ARV etc. I guess it’s not easy having to keep everything to herself, when she got the chance to freely talk about it, she did!

Aini too, when told about Shila’s death, was quite surprised. But she knew that Shila had heart problems.

“Saya harap kalau saya mati nanti biarlah kat hospital. Mandi kapan semua kat hospital, tak kecoh sangat kat rumah.”

Both Fuzi and Aini had seen how kecoh it can be when people from the health dept comes to visit at home. And both of them hope when their time comes, they will die at the hospital, not at home; so that all the necessary arrangements can be done at the hospital without any hoo-hahs at home.

But hey, Shila died at home. No hoo-hah for her as nobody from the health department came. I think it would have been a different story if they did.

Visiting the orphan

2011-08-06T16:19:00.001+08:00

Exactly a week after Shila passed away, today I decided to pay her family a visit. Her daughter Laila is under our education sponsorship programme, and since it wasn’t the right time to discuss the matter during Shila’s funeral last week, I figured today would be the right time to pay them a visit. Besides, Shila’s main buddy was overseas last week and was not able to attend her funeral, and so when I asked if she’d like to join me for the visit, she immediately agreed.

Before I left the house last week, I told Shila’s mother and sis-in-law to make sure Shila’s handphone is kept on to make it easier for me to contact them. I had promised Shila’s mother that we’d still continue to help out with Laila’s schooling needs. So yesterday when I sent a text message to Shila’s number, saying I’d be coming to visit today, her SIL replied using her own number. I guess Shila’s number ran out of credit to reply my message.

We got to the house at about 11 am as promised. Initially we only saw Shila’s sisters-in-law and the small children. After a while Laila came out with her grandma. The girl looked okay, I think for the moment she is coping quite well without her mother. According to the grandma, the girl’s paternal family did come and visit last week during the funeral, although they were a bit late as they came all the way from another state. Apparently Laila’s paternal grandma did offer to take care of Laila but that would mean a total change of environment for Laila as not only would she have to move to another state, she’d have to change school and she’d be staying with people she’s not quite used to. That girl would probably miss her mother even more!

At least if she continues to stay with her maternal grandma, the only thing she’d have to adjust to is to live without her mother by her side. So the maternal grandma just told the other grandma that they could come take the girl during school holidays. They would have to come and fetch her though…

Anyway, all the while, the monthly pocket money for Laila under the sponsorship programme goes direct into Laila’s own bank account. So we don’t have to worry about changing the standing instructions to the bank. Today we just wanted to make it clear to Laila’s grandma that anything to do with the girl’s schooling needs is covered by the funds, but they’d have to tell us if there are any expenses needed out of the ordinary because we wouldn’t know unless we’re told.

I asked how Laila goes to school. I know previously Shila herself used to send her daughter to school on a motorbike. However according to the grandma, ever since Shila became unwell of late, she sought the help of a relative to send Laila to school. The relative isn’t so well-to-do either, so she gives RM30 per month to the relative to send the girl to school and fetch her after school. Looks like beginning this month I will have to add another RM30 to the bank’s monthly standing instructions to cover for transport.

When Shila was alive, she used to get a financial aid of RM250 per month from Baitulmal. The amount went into her bank account every month. Hopefully Baitulmal will now consider giving the aid for Laila instead, under the grandma’s name. The grandma has yet to go to the Baitulmal office, according to her she plans to go this coming week. Hopefully her plea will be considered. But that, even if approved, may take some time to be processed. They need money, especially with Raya coming soon.

Before we left, I passed an envelope containing some cash to the grandma. The money had been donated by my friends who banked in the amount into my account, meant to cover for Laila’s needs. I think the grandma didn’t expect to get the cash – she seemed quite surprised. Earlier on I only mentioned about wanting to discuss Laila’s schooling needs, nothing else. The amount should be enough to cover their Raya expenses. My colleague then mentioned to Laila about our Family Day and that she’s welcomed to join us for our future Family Day events. Laila had always looked forward to our Family Day when she gets to enjoy herself. At this point, I could see tears dwelling in the grandma’s eyes.

“Memang dia seronok sangat yang pergi hari tu,” said the grandma. That was probably the last time Shila and Laila had their photo taken together. I passed them the photo when I brought the two for makan-makan in Ipoh about a month ago. I bet Laila will treasure that photo forever…

Facing the deaths of my clients

2011-08-03T18:46:00.001+08:00

Having been a volunteer with Buddies for more than 7 years now, and being the one assigned with the most clients, having to face the deaths of my clients is something I have to go through, like it or not. And before you misunderstand me and start thinking that those diagnosed HIV+ don’t have much time to live, please bear in mind that many of these clients had been diagnosed many years ago… or for some, by the time they were tested, their condition were already bad. And there were a few too, who succumbed to other diseases, not HIV-related.

So far 11 of the clients whom I knew and had personally met, had passed on, while another one, Makcik Minah, to whom I was assigned to but never got the chance to meet as she never answered my calls, died a lonely death, at the age of 74.

Out of the 11 whom I had met, I attended the funerals of 5 of them. The other 6, either I wasn’t around on the day of their funeral, or I was only told about them later.

The first of my client’s death I had to face was that of Rose. Although she had been a client of Buddies since way back in 1999, I was only assigned as her buddy in 2006. Before that Buddies didn’t have a single Malay volunteer, and so when I got in, and the other volunteers managed to track Rose (after going missing for some time), I was immediately assigned as her buddy. By then she had been diagnosed with CA of the cervix, and her cancer had spread. I only got to know her for about 2 1/2 months, but grew rather close to her as I was always helping her with her hospital appointments etc. She was poor and weak, I simply didn’t have the heart to let her go to the hospital on her own by taking a bus. Besides, I think if she had no choice but to take a bus, she’d probably skip her appointments altogether. Rose died at the Palliative Care Unit at the hospital, and the very same morning, her sister called me up to inform me of her death, as Rose had specifically told her sister to inform me should anything happened to her. I did go to the house to help out the family, but Rose’s body was bathed and prepared at the hospital and so there wasn’t really much to do at home.

The next client was Azman, Yah’s husband. At that time, Yah, still a very strong determined lady, had problems with her in-laws. Azman, other than HIV, had mental problems as well, and about one week before his death, I had to help bring Azman home from the hospital as none of his siblings were willing – giving all sorts of excuses. I did go to visit when Yah called to inform me of Azman’s death. Since he died at home, the family called the hospital people to help manage his body. The Health Dept people who came, not only made their presence obvious, they also dug a hole outside the house, obvious to everyone, poured Clorox into the hole and then buried Azman’s clothes inside it. Needless to say, the neighbours became suspicious, and within the day, the whole neighbourhood knew Azman had HIV.

Then there was Lily, whom I didn’t get to know too long either. She too, like Yah, had problems with her in-laws. As a matter of fact, when her late husband was diagnosed HIV+, her in-laws simply took him to stay with them in another state and nobody bothered to tell her about his HIV. She only found out about it when she got her husband’s death cert, and when she & her children went for blood tests, she and her youngest child, were tested +ve. But Lily died from dengue, not HIV. I did attend Lily’s funeral, in fact I followed the family from the hospital’s mortuary to her father’s kampong where she was buried.

Another client, Rashid, died on the 3rd day of Raya. It being Raya week, I made sure I took a break from voluntary work so I could spend time with my own family members. It wasn’t easy though. What with Hana (Rashid’s wife) texting me to say she needed me as she didn’t know what to do, I did feel somewhat restless with the situation. But I had promised to go elsewhere with a few of my family members on that particular day, and my policy had always been, family comes first. However, I did entertain Hana’s calls, and taught her through the phone on how to go about doing things at the hospital before bringing Rashid’s body home for the funeral. And by the end of the day, I did call her again to make sure everything was settled.

2 days after Rashid died, came Rina’s turn. Yes, both within the first week of Raya. But by the time I got the call from Rina’s brother informing me that Rina had passed on, my siblings had gone back to their respective homes, and so I did make it a point to visit, not only to pay my last respects, but also to give moral support to her family, especially her mother whom I had met a few times. At first I went to her mother’s house, but nobody seemed to be there. Then I called the brother, who told me that they were making all the necessary arrangements at the hospital, and then from the hospital straight to the grave. So I just went to the mortuary, and met her mother there.

Next on the list was Rose’s brother. Yes, he too was HIV+ although how they got infected had nothing to do with each other. Rose, through her husband, while her brother, through IDU. Rose’s death didn’t stop her family members, particularly her sisters from keeping in touch with me (even now they still send me text messages from time to time), and I was the one they consulted to help arrange for a hospital appointment for their brother. I did help out, but the brother only went once, and defaulted after that. When his condition worsened, the sisters called me again to ask what they should do. So I just told them to bring him to the hospital. Not much could be done by then, but at least they could help reduce the pain. He died within the same week after the sisters called me. But I didn’t attend his funeral as I already had prior engagements.

Then there was AJ. I was never in touch with AJ (although I did meet him once), but had been liaising with his wife (who had been spared from the virus, alhamdulillah) who had sought moral and emotional support from me. AJ himself seemed to have given up on his life the moment he was diagnosed +ve, and so he didn’t fight it. When AJ died, I was in KL and so I didn’t visit. I did however, followed up with his wife and children when I came back to Ipoh to assess the family’s needs.

Another client, Hamidah, whom I met at the hospital during my clinic duty, died that very same night. With all the problems that she had, I was still trying to figure out how I could help her when a nurse from the district hospital where she was hospitalised called me to inform me of her death. I had actually told them I may visit her, and so they quickly called me up the next morning to save me the trouble from visiting.

Another client I had met once was Roslan. He wasn’t keen on the idea of us visiting him at home as he didn’t want his neighbours to get suspicious. So yes, we met him outside, and to help arrange for financial assistance for his family, we promised to meet up again so he could pass us all the necessary supporting documents. But our calls after that were never answered and text messages were never replied, leading us to think that he didn’t want us to get involved. Later, I managed to get hold of his wife, and found out that he had died. And so much for not wanting us to visit to avoid suspicions by the neighbours, when he died, the Health Dept people went to visit and supervised the pengurusan jenazah at home, and gave clear instructions asking the family to use Clorox etc. The whole neighbourhood found out he had HIV.

Jeff was another client whom I had met, and in fact visited at his mother’s house. But he had long decided that he didn’t want to go for follow-up visits to the hospital and since he didn’t go for his appointments, neither did his wife, Faridah, who was also confirmed +ve. I lost touch with them after that visit… until recently when Faridah was brought to the hospital by her sister-in-law who just found out about the couple’s HIV status. Jeff had passed on about 10 days earlier at home, and like in Roslan’s case, with the obvious presence of the Health Dept people (and whatever else that they did when they were there), those who were present found out.

The last (so far) of my clients’ death I had to face was that of Shila, who died just recently… the first case that I was fully involved in the pengurusan jenazah. I made sure I didn’t do anything to cause any suspicion amongst those present. It wasn’t necessary at all. There was nothing to worry about, I know for a fact HIV doesn’t spread that easily and while I did take precautions, nothing I did was really out of the ordinary to cause any suspicions.

I know Shila’s death won’t be the last I have to face (unless of course, my turn comes before anybody else’s) and since death is something I have learnt to accept, I believe I am capable of facing them calmly. It doesn’t matter if some people think that I have no feelings…

Arranging for a shelter home…

2011-08-01T17:13:00.001+08:00

When I texted SN on Saturday to inform her of Shila’s passing, despite it being her off day, SN immediately called me back as she too, like the rest of us, was shocked with the news.

And since she was already on the line with me, SN took the opportunity to ask about Faridah (see my earlier posting here). I told SN I had not called the shelter home to ask if they’d accept Faridah, because when I spoke to Faridah’s sister-in-law last week, I was made to understand that both sides of the family agreed that even if Faridah were to leave her MIL’s home, it should be after her iddah is over.

When I told SN that they wanted to wait until Faridah’s iddah is over, and that would be in another 4 months time, SN got worried. Due to Faridah’s condition (she had defaulted her appointments before this and her CD4 had gone down) the doctor wants her to start her antiretroviral (ARV) soonest. However, if she continues to stay with her MIL, we can be very sure she will not be compliant in taking her ARV.

You can teach Faridah that she’s supposed to take her medication, say at 10 am for example, but Faridah isn’t even able to tell the time. Seriously! And since her MIL is also unwell, we can’t depend on her MIL to be reminding her either. And nobody else stays there with them. In other words, for as long as Faridah continues to stay with her MIL, there is no point letting her start her ARV. Her side of the family, as mentioned in my earlier posting, is not willing to take her to stay with them, which was why they wanted her to go to a shelter home.

I had earlier agreed to help them find a place for Faridah after her iddah is over – at that time I had not discussed with SN or the doctor about her condition. But after listening to SN, I must agree that the sooner Faridah gets proper care, the better.

So this morning I called up the person in charge at a shelter home for HIV+ Muslim women, and she had no problem accepting Faridah anytime. I then called up Faridah’s SIL, the one I met last week. After explaining things to her, she too agreed that maybe we shouldn’t wait until the iddah is over. I also asked if they could arrange to send Faridah to KL themselves, and by the sound of it, I think it shouldn’t be a problem. Since she will be bringing Faridah for another appointment in Ipoh GH next week, we agreed to meet up and discuss matters further then. I’d need them to decide on a date so I can inform the person in charge at the shelter home.

So far the women I had arranged to send to shelter homes had been young 20-something year old women. This is the first time I’m arranging to send an HIV+ woman who’s almost half a century old to a shelter home. Well, at least part 1 of the problem is settled…

A final farewell…

2011-07-30T18:31:00.002+08:00

After visiting and delivering another month’s supply of groceries to Sofie yesterday; and then visiting Zalia and delivering milk & diapers for her daughter before heading home, I was planning to just stay home today (other than my Saturday pasar tani routine) and tidy up my messy work table at home.

But when I was at the pasar tani, a call came in on my hand phone from an unfamiliar number. The caller identified herself as Shilla’s sister-in-law and told me that Shila had just passed away about 6 something in the morning. She herself wasn’t too sure what time the funeral would be as the family was still kelam-kabut calling relatives and friends.

So after my pasar tani routine, off I headed to Shila’s house. Shila had been staying with her mother (at her mother’s house) ever since her husband passed away about 8 years ago. It’s a kampong house which I had visited quite a number of times even though I am not Shila’s main buddy. Shila’s buddy is for the moment overseas and was not able to visit today.

When I got to Shila’s house at about 10 am, there were quite a number of people visiting. Laila, Shila’s 11 year old daughter, looked rather calm. So did Shila’s mother. I knew Shila’s mother was busy with people always asking her where was this and that to help prepare for Shila’s funeral, but I still managed to talk to her for a few minutes to find out what happened.

After being hospitalised some time last month, Shila’s condition had improved a lot. Other than HIV, Shila also had heart problems. She & Laila did join us for our recent Family Day. I never thought that would be her last Family Day with us. Within the same week after the Family Day, I did get to meet Shila & Laila. Shila had to go to the hospital for some tests and after she was done with those tests, I went to fetch her. Shila was hungry by then (she had to fast before the tests were done) and so I brought both her & her daughter for makan-makan at a fast food outlet at a nearby shopping centre. Apparently Laila had always asked her mother if she could eat there but Shila couldn’t afford to fulfil the girl’s request. So when I offered to bring them there, the girl was all smiles.

That was the last I met Shila alive. And she was doing okay then.

So the news of her death came as quite a shock to me. As a matter of fact, it was a shock to her family as well. Even though they knew of her HIV, but based on her condition, they didn’t expect her to go so soon. According to her mother, the only thing Shila was complaining about yesterday was a backache; and then later at night she complained she felt rather warm and so decided to sleep upstairs which was cooler. Usually she’d sleep downstairs with her daughter. And the next thing they knew, this morning Shila was gone.

I immediately sent a few text messages to a few people whom I thought should know about Shila’s death – including SN. SN immediately called me back – she was shocked too. Apparently the doctor had just asked her to call Shila to arrange for some other tests to be done on her before deciding on the best ARV medication to be given to her.

Anyway, when I got to Shila’s house, the first thing I did was to ask her mother if the funeral arrangements had been made.

“Jenazah semua dah ada orang uruskan ya?”

“Dah… saya suruh anak saya pergi ambik orang yang selalu uruskan jenazah tu.”

OK, so everything had been arranged for, so I just sat there quietly and I thought probably I could leave early. But after a while, Shila’s sister came back, and the family seemed a bit restless. I decided to ask. Apparently the regular lady whom the kampong folks had always depended on to handle pengurusan jenazah, was not home and nobody seemed to know where she was. A few ladies offered help to cut the kain kafan, but nobody dared lead. I could see Shila’s mother was beginning to worry although she kept her cool. I finally decided to just go and join the ladies helping out with the kain kafan when one of them asked, “Adik boleh tolong ke?” “InsyaAllah boleh,” I said, and immediately they put me as the “leader”.

So yes, from then on I took over the pengurusan jenazah, right from preparing the kain kafan, mandi jenazah and on to mengkafankan jenazah. The other ladies gave full cooperation.

It was during mengkafankan jenazah that Laila started sobbing away. Poor girl. Being the only child, and losing her father when she was just about 3 years old, Laila had always been manja with her mother.

By the time the jenazah was all ready, it was about 12.45 pm. I sought permission from Shila’s mom to leave as I had already done what I could. She hugged me and thanked me for helping her out. Somehow, from the way she thanked me, I get this gut feeling that maybe, just MAYBE, the regular lady could have heard rumours that Shila had HIV and therefore purposely made a disappearing act so that she didn’t have to give any excuses for refusing to handle Shila’s jenazah. Just for the record, during one of the kursus pengurusan jenazah that I had attended before, one of the participants actually asked if he could refuse to handle the body of an HIV infected person. I do hope I’m wrong about this lady though…

I do intend to visit again one of these days to discuss about Laila’s future. No worries about who the girl will be staying with, she’ll definitely be staying with her grandma at the very same house she’s staying now. But other than monitoring Laila’s educational needs, we need to monitor her emotional status as well. Ramadhan will begin on Monday, and one thing for sure is that this coming Raya will be Laila's first Raya without her mother.

Sana jangan, sini pun jangan…

2011-07-27T21:57:00.001+08:00

For 2 days in a row I was on clinic duty… yesterday in Taiping, and today in Ipoh. No new cases were referred to me in Taiping. But my time in Taiping Hospital wasn’t wasted. I did get to meet 2 old clients. And when it was almost noon, the nurse came over. Initially I thought she wanted to refer a new case. To my surprise, she said, “Afizah, meh join sama, makan dengan Dr Ker!”

The nurses there organised a pre-Ramadhan makan-makan and they so happened to do it on a day when I was there, so lucky me got to eat the delicacies offered – nasi hujan panas, pulut kuning and meehoon soup. *Burp*

This morning I was at the hospital again for my once a fortnight duty at Ipoh GH. No longer bothered to get a parking space within the hospital compounds, I straight away went to park at my usual far away parking spot where most of the time nobody else going to the hospital wanted to park. Exercise! Exercise! I needed (and still do need) the exercise!

As I entered the doctor’s room to notify the nurses that I was already there, the moment SN saw me, she immediately told the other nurse to get Faridah to see me, although it wasn’t a new case and Faridah had been referred to me before. I did visit Faridah and her husband Jeff at the home of Jeff’s mother before, but that was the only time. After that Jeff wasn’t bothered to go for his appointments anymore. He was only interested to get financial assistance but since they didn’t have any children, I couldn’t offer them our Children Education Fund or help to apply for the Paediatric Aids Fund.

Anyway, this morning before they sent Faridah to see me, the nurses told me that Jeff, Faridah’s husband had passed away recently. And since Faridah had defaulted her appointment late last year, this was the first time she came back to the HIV clinic for follow-up.

Ever since Faridah married Jeff and followed Jeff to stay with Jeff’s side of the family, Faridah had sort of lost touch with her side of her family. It was only when Jeff died recently, they were told about it and went to visit during the funeral. Nobody had known that Jeff and Faridah were HIV +ve. However, during the funeral, the obvious presence of the Inspektor Kesihatan didn’t help to keep it a secret anymore. The whole family found out. The whole kampong found out.

Now the problem is this… while Jeff’s family don’t mind Faridah to continue staying with Jeff’s mother, Faridah’s own family felt it wasn’t right, and furthermore, they felt that Jeff’s family wanted her there so she could take care of their ailing mother. Faridah’s family thought since Faridah herself wasn’t well, it was not right to let her take care of her mother-in-law.

Well then, just take her home right?

Wrong! While they felt it wasn’t right for Faridah to continue staying with her mother-in-law, they felt Faridah shouldn’t be staying at her own mother’s house either. The sister-in-law (wife to Faridah’s brother) who accompanied Faridah to the hospital today, stays with Faridah’s mother. She told me that not only is the house small, she also has to take care of her ailing MIL (Faridah’s mom) and so taking care of Faridah as well wasn’t too practical.

Faridah, by the looks of it, cannot be independent. Not because she’s too weak or anything like that, but because she is somewhat rather “slow”. Anything that needs to be done, she needs to be told, each time. That’s why when her husband decided to no longer go for hospital appointments, she did the same. To go to the hospital on her own, she wouldn’t be able to. Probably because she had always been dependent on other people for everything.

Hmmm… they didn’t agree to Faridah staying with her MIL, and they didn’t agree to Faridah staying with her own mother either. So, where is she supposed to go?

That was why they wanted to see me today. They were hoping I could get her a shelter home.

Whatever it is, both sides of the family agreed that even if Faridah moves out, it should be after her iddah is over. And since her husband just died about 10 days ago, I still have 4 months to think of a suitable solution…

Back together again…

2011-07-25T23:07:00.001+08:00

I spent my Sunday morning & afternoon having a good time caving with friends at Gua Tempurung – a short break from my voluntary work… a stress releasing activity before I start off with my Ramadhan visits next week. My clients wouldn’t have been able to reach me even if they wanted to… for almost 4 hours inside the cave, there was no reception!! :-)

But it didn’t take long after the expedition ended for one of my clients to call me. I had not even gone out of Gopeng yet when a call came in while I was driving. The ring tone indicated the number was not listed in my mobile phone.

It was Zalia. Remember Zalia? The young mother who sought my help to get assistance for her 2 year old daughter. My problem was, the daughter was staying with Zalia’s mother while Zalia herself, due to a misunderstanding with her mother, had moved out of the house to stay with her mak angkat, who also happens to be her boyfriend’s mother. Of course, Zalia’s mother got pretty upset with the decision made by Zalia.

After about a month or so, now Zalia wants to go back and stay with her parents, and be reunited with her daughter. But she was scared. Earlier on, the plan was that when I manage to get donations of milk for her little girl, I’d bring Zalia together with me to her parents house to pass the milk to them.

I did manage to get help for the girl, but my calls to Zalia went unanswered and my text messages never got replied. For a while I thought Zalia had abandoned the idea of going to see her parents and her daughter.

But finally just after my Gua Tempurung grand tour, she called, using her boyfriend’s phone. Not really a good time to call, but since I had been wanting to get hold of her, I entertained the call. Apparently her own phone became faulty and was beyond repairs. Which was why my calls and messages never got through to her.

Zalia said she needed to move out of her mak angkat’s house as soon as possible and asked if she could meet up with me. She didn’t have single sen to go to town to meet me and so she was hoping I could come pick her up at home. Not really a problem since she’s staying in Ipoh, but I didn’t have her house address and wasn’t in a position to write down the address to ask her on the phone. So I told her to text me the address and I’d try to visit her the next day (ie today).

By the time I got home, I noticed that she had already texted me the address – not familiar territory to me although it’s in Ipoh. But I got my GPS and yes, the road where she stayed was listed in my GPS.

So today I headed off to fetch Zalia. I didn’t tell her earlier what time I’d be coming. She did mention she wasn’t going anywhere so it shouldn’t matter what time. But as I was nearing the house, Zalia called and asked if I was coming. When I told her I was already on my way, she said, “Oh, kalau macam tu saya siaplah barang-barang saya.”

Huh? Siap barang? Was I supposed to send her home today?

“Dah ada telefon bagitau mak belum?” I asked.

“Dia tak jawab telefon. Dah berapa kali dah saya call.”

Uh oh! I thought I was going to see Zalia to discuss things over. But never mind, Zalia’s mother was probably just too upset with the decision Zalia made to move out of the house and leaving her own child; she purposely didn’t want to answer the call. Besides, since Zalia couldn’t use her own phone, she used her boyfriend’s phone to call. Her mother probably already recognised the number.

Anyway, when I got to the house as per the address mentioned by Zalia, a young lady opened the door and asked who I was looking for. When I mentioned Zalia’s full name, the lady went blank, and then asked another lady in the house. They only knew her nickname, not her full name. I then heard a guy’s voice, asking the young lady who I was. When I mentioned my name, then only the guy told them to tell me to wait for a while. Zalia was upstairs packing her things. So I went back to wait in the car since they didn’t invite me in.

After a while Zalia came out with her bags. Not many things since she just moved out of her parent’s house just about a month ago. I think it hadn’t even been 5 minutes after we left when my handphone rang. The call came from her boyfriend, who was in the house when we left earlier. He asked to speak to Zalia for a while. I had my bluetooth on so I could answer my calls hands free while driving, so I had to turn off my bluetooth before passing the phone to Zalia. Based on the conversation I heard, all he wanted to say was to tell Zalia to take good care of herself bla bla bla. Duh! Couldn’t they settle that part at home when I went to fetch her?

All the way to her parent’s house, I was praying and praying that Zalia’s mother would soften up and accept Zalia back without much drama. Well, I think since she wasn’t really expecting Zalia to go home, what more with someone she (Zalia’s mom) never knew or even heard of before, she seemed rather surprised when she saw me with Zalia. It could have been a different scene altogether had it been Zalia’s boyfriend who sent her home.

After Zalia went to kiss her mother’s hands, the 41 year old mother and grandma to Zalia’s daughter looked at me as I offered my salam. I immediately introduced myself as a volunteer dealing with HIV patients. Zalia had told me earlier that her family had known of her HIV status all along, and so I didn’t have to worry about telling them who I really was.

Zalia’s mother seemed rather receptive. What I felt earlier was right, when she didn’t answer Zalia’s calls, it wasn’t because she didn’t want to accept Zalia in her life. It’s just that she felt too hurt with the decision made by Zalia. I had earlier on in the car, told Zalia to make sure she apologised to her mother, to which she responded, “Memang saya yang salah pun kak.”

So there wasn’t really any unwanted scenes when I sent Zalia back to her family today. I was however hoping that Zalia’s mother wasn’t just controlling herself because I was there. Zalia’s 2 year old daughter, at first seemed shy and kept hiding behind chairs, but after about 10 minutes or so, she clung on to Zalia and looked as though she didn’t want to let go. The poor girl must have missed her mother so much.

Seeing that everything seemed fine, I asked to leave. As I drove off, I looked into the rear mirror to see if the situation would change, but based on what I saw, they were chatting… peacefully. Let’s hope it will continue that way and let’s hope Zalia will not make any other stupid decisions.

Change of plans: From hospital visit to house visit…

2011-07-21T22:09:00.002+08:00

I had wanted to visit Zainab’s daughter, Kakak, at the hospital this morning but simply couldn’t get a parking space. Even my usual parking area where others don’t usually want to park (because it’s quite far to walk to the hospital), were full this morning.

I called Zainab, this time she answered. Although earlier she mentioned that Kakak may need to be operated for suspected appendix, this time Zainab told me that the girl need not go through any operation after all. I guess it wasn’t her appendix that gave her problems. But she still needed to stay in the ward for further tests, especially since the girl does have kidney problems.

Since I couldn’t get a proper parking space, I decided to cancel my plan to visit Kakak and change to plan B to visit Lin instead. Somebody had given some cash through me to be given to Lin, for her to spend for Ramadhan/Syawal, so I thought I might as well visit her today. There were some photos (of our recent Family Day) that I needed to pass to her as well. So I called Lin, just to be sure she’s home. I wouldn’t want to go all the way to her house only to find out that she was in Ipoh for her hospital appointment!!

Lin said she was at home and was not planning to go anywhere, so I told her I’d be coming. Within half an hour, I was at her house. Lin was concentrating on her sewing and didn’t realise my presence until I got to right in front of the door. Her 14 year old daughter was ironing her school uniform.

Education-wise, Lin’s daughters seemed to be doing quite well. Her 1st & 3rd daughter are already working, while her second daughter has to study a little bit longer since she’s taking up medicine overseas. Lin’s 4th, her son, had never done well in school, and even after SPM he was doing one thing after another. One moment he’d say he wanted to work, next moment he’d say he wanted to take up whatever courses with some friends. Latest, he had gone up north to take up a short course, and according to him, right after the 3 months course, he’d be offered a job. His mother or sisters couldn’t ask much, he wouldn’t say much, but it’s something to do with shipping, or so he said.

Lin’s 5th child, a 16 year old boy, isn’t doing too well in school either. Joining a vocational class, his last exam results slip showed a number of subjects which he got G’s (for gagal). The only subject he scored an A was “kimpalan” (welding), the one and only subject that he’s interested in. For other subjects which he’d need to sit down and study, he failed miserably. Last year, for his PMR, I offered Lin to pay for his tuition (he is under our Sponsorship Program), but he himself refused. No point paying for his tuition if he wasn’t going to attend. He doesn’t seem interested to study. He is even contemplating to do part time jobs during school holidays so he’d have some money to get a motorcycle license.

Lin’s youngest daughter is an average student in school. Last year she turned out one of the tops in her class, and so this year she was transferred to what Lin calls “kelas budak pandai”. This year since she’s sharing a class with better students, she got to the lower bottom of the class.

Right now, financially I’m not too worried about Lin’s family. With her 2 girls already working (although “baru nak hidup” as people say), and I know that the girls are the responsible type, at least there is always something in the kitchen for them to eat. My main concern now is her sons, especially her 16 year old who doesn’t seem to be bothered about his studies. He already likes to join his friends go fishing etc instead of studying or doing his homework at home.

I just hope the 2 boys will not end up like their father.

Which reminds me… what’s the latest news about their father, Mr Darling? What about the case reported by his wife (now ex-wife) for molesting his step-daughter? Well, since her 14 year old daughter was there, I didn’t want to ask Lin about Mr D. Didn’t want to be discussing Mr D’s molest case in front of any of their children, especially the younger ones. Although the eldest daughter despises the father, Lin always reminded them that good or bad, he’s still their father.

So no, no updates on Mr Darling today, ok?

Unwell daughter… irresponsible husband…

2011-07-19T21:57:00.001+08:00

I was relaxing at home on Sunday when a call came in from an unfamiliar number. At first I thought it was one of those unwanted telemarketing calls, but when I answered the call, the voice at the other end sounded familiar. It was Zainab, whom I couldn’t call earlier because she didn’t have a phone. Even for our recent Family Day, I had to leave a note with her daughter at her house (Zainab was at work) to inform her of when and where to wait for one of our volunteers to fetch her.

Anyway, she called to give me her new number and to ask if the Family Day photos were ready. She also mentioned that for this week she’d be on night shift at her workplace and so I could visit her during the day time.

With photos already printed, and money has started coming in from donors to be used for my poor PLHIV families, on Monday morning I decided to shop for some groceries before visiting Zainab and her family at home. Once I got all the stuff into my car, I called Zainab to inform her I was on my way. But she didn’t answer my call. At first I thought she could be in the bathroom or something, but after a while, she returned my call. She was at the hospital with her daughters.

Her older daughter, more affectionately called Kakak, had been unwell and since the girl’s appointment at the paediatric clinic is only in August, quite a long way to go, Zainab decided to bring her to the hospital yesterday. It was not advisable to bring the girl to other clinics since all her records are at the Ipoh GH paediatric clinic (the girl has kidney problems). So after coming home from work at about 6.45 am, and after a short nap, Zainab called a colleague of mine (the one who fetched her for our family day earlier) to ask if he could send her and daughter to the hospital. So yes, my colleague who stays not too far from Zainab’s place, fetched them at home and sent them to the hospital on his way to work.

Upon being told that they were at the hospital, I decided to go straight to the hospital. And as usual, finding a parking space within the hospital compounds was almost impossible – unless you’re lucky enough to pass by at the right time when another car is going out. I parked outside and walked.

The moment I walked into the paeds clinic, there was no problem spotting Zainab and her 2 daughters. They were still waiting for their turn to see the doctor. Adik was playing at the playground. I immediately showed Kakak their family day photos. She was smiling from ear to ear looking at the photo of her on the horse.

When it was kakak’s turn to see the doctor, Zainab went in with her. Knowing that I was outside, she let Adik continue playing.

Apparently when they went to see the doctor, the doc wanted to get more tests done on Kakak and told her that she’d need to get her blood taken for testing. Scared of needles, the girl asked the good doc if they could take her mother’s blood instead… :-)

Once her urine and blood samples were taken and sent to the lab, Zainab was told to bring the girl again to the hospital on Wednesday to see the doctor after test results are out. The 2 girls had been complaining they were hungry, so I brought them to the cafeteria. Knowing they loved chicken, the first thing I asked was if they wanted nasi ayam for lunch (it was already noon by then), and immediately they smiled. Kakak had one plate of nasi ayam for herself, while Adik shared with her mother. The little girl ended up eating most of the chicken while her mother finished up the rice…

After lunch, I sent them home. They didn’t realise I had some groceries at the back and were quite surprised when I asked them to help carry the stuff down from my car. The 2 girls were all smiles when they saw some of the foodstuff I had bought for them.

Anyway, while waiting at the hospital and in the car while driving them home, I had the chance to chat with Zainab. I asked about Zaki, her husband. I was wondering why he didn’t come along to accompany his daughter to the hospital. By right, it should be him since Zainab had just got home from work and hadn’t had enough rest. Obviously Zainab looked rather fed-up when I asked about Zaki. “Dia nak mati cepat lantak dialah kak, malas dah saya…”

Zaki is no longer going for his hospital appointments. Work? Nope, he’s no longer working either, but that didn’t come as a surprise to me since he had always come up with all sorts of excuses to quit whatever jobs that he had. Even when he was working, he didn’t contribute to the family’s expenses, he spent his wages to buy cigarettes and whatever else for his own needs. “Dia tak kerja, tapi bukannya nak tolong jaga budak-budak ni pun!”

And the main reason Zainab feels more fed-up than ever is that she suspects he is back on drugs.

“Mana dia dapat duit?” I asked. “Kawan-kawan dialah kak!”

Which reminds me, when I went to their house to leave the note regarding the family day, only Kakak and Adik were home. When I asked the girls where their parents were, Kakak answered, “Ibu kerja. Ayah keluar.” Luckily it was me who went to visit. The door was not even locked. Any strangers could easily go in to kidnap the 2 girls.

I think it was rather irresponsible for him to leave the 2 girls (aged 8 & 6) all by themselves at home, don’t you think? And especially now after knowing what he had been up to of late.

Thank goodness Zainab now has a phone. It would be easier for me to check on them from time to time. And I was thinking I’d check on them on Wednesday after Kakak’s next appointment at the hospital.

However, about 3 pm today, I received a text message from Zainab, sayiing that Kakak had to be warded and may need to be operated. Kakak was down with high fever last night and so Zainab brought the girl to a nearby clinic and was told by the doctor to bring her straight to the hospital as he suspected the girl may need to get her appendix removed.

I tried calling Zainab but my call didn’t get through. I sent a text message to get further info but that too had not been replied. I guess the next few days I may just have to visit at the ward to get further details…

Visiting the K’s

2011-07-17T21:49:00.001+08:00

It’s been a while since I last went to visit the K’s. The last visit was in April, immediately after they moved to a newly rented house, quite near the old house. With photos of the Family Day already printed, and some groceries already at our centre, I decided to give them a visit on Saturday. I texted Mrs K first to ask if anybody would be home. Mrs K herself would probably be working, so I just wanted to be sure any of her children would be around so I could leave them the groceries and photos. According to Mrs K, her 16 year old daughter would be home, so yeah, I went ahead with my plan.

The door was closed when I got to their house. I honked, and immediately I saw a girl peeping through the window. After a while Mr K opened the door and came out.

“Tak kerja ke?” I asked.

“Baru balik pukul 1,” he replied.

Since he was around, I got him to carry the box of groceries out of my car. I just carried the 10kg pack of rice. His 2 younger girls also came out. The 16 year old was not around – her aunt just came to fetch her to help in the baking of some raya cookies to be sold during the coming Ramadhan. Shah, the eldest boy, just started work at the nearby petrol station. Mrs K was not back from work yet.

Since the girls were around, I went in for a while, and passed the family day photos to them. The girls got excited, especially looking at the photo of the 2 of them riding the horse. Despite the fact that I had reduced my visits to their house ever since Mrs K started sending me text messages wanting to borrow money, 4 year old Baby K had always been friendly with me. Ever since she was small and couldn’t even talk, right to now when she’s already quite a chatty little girl, she’d always welcome my visits. In fact when she followed her parents to the hospital some time in May, when she saw me in the counselling room, she came in just to give me a peck on my cheeks and immediately went out again.

Well, this time she was telling me all sorts of stories… some I understood, some I didn’t. After a while, a cute little white kitten came in and immediately headed towards me. Baby K took the kitten in her arms. The kitten jumped from the girl’s arms and came running to me again, this time hiding underneath my kain, right between by legs. Baby K was so afraid the kitten wanted to follow me back, she grabbed the kitten from between my legs, and this time she didn’t let go.

“Apa nama dia?” I asked.

“Tot!” answered the older sister.

“Bukanlah! Nama dia Lily!” the little girl replied.

Anyway, I asked Mr K about 20 year old Shah. I was quite concerned about his future. If he doesn’t start thinking seriously of his future, what is he going to feed his family when he gets married? Shah was supposed to join Giat Mara starting July but none of the courses offered at the Giat Mara near his place were of interest to him. He’s more into automotive stuff and the Giat Mara offering such a course is quite a distance away, and they don’t offer accommodation. There is a newly opened Kolej Komuniti quite near their place, which offers automotive courses AND provide accommodation as well, so he’s aiming to apply for their January intake.

Let’s just hope this time it will work out as planned…

Clinic duty: 3 different ladies, 3 different stories…

2011-07-15T14:28:00.001+08:00

I was on clinic duty again on Wednesday. This time I got to the hospital half an hour early. We volunteers are supposed to be there at 10 am, but I decided to go a wee bit early so that I could have a short rest before getting any case referred.

But as I got in the doctor’s room, although the doctor wasn’t there yet (she was still doing her rounds at the wards), the nurse told me that one of the new patients was already there.

So off I went to the support service room, and within minutes SN came in with the new patient, a lady in her late 20’s. Bibah had been diagnosed HIV+ since more than 3 years ago, and had already been going for follow-ups at the hospital, but in another state across the South China Sea. Some time back, she and her husband came back to Ipoh to visit her husband’s side of the family. Initially it was meant to be just a short visit before heading back across South China Sea, but Bibah got sick and checks showed she was down with TB and unfit to travel. So they stayed on longer. However, since they hadn’t planned to stay longer, they didn’t transfer their hospital appointments to Ipoh. Bibah’s husband didn’t even bother to make any arrangements to get his case transferred to Ipoh, while Bibah herself, since she was hospitalised due to her TB, was referred to Ipoh’s ID clinic. And on Wednesday was her first appointment, which was why her case got referred to me.

Anyway, Bibah’s husband had married before but by the time he married Bibah, he was already divorced. Bibah knew about his ex-wife, but that was all. What the husband didn’t tell her was, by then he had already been diagnosed HIV+, and in fact was already going for follow-up appointments at the hospital. Bibah got pregnant, and what a shocker it was for her when blood tests showed she was HIV+. It was only during this time that her husband finally told her that he had long been infected with HIV.

Bibah felt cheated. She was mad with her husband, but it was too late. No matter how she felt, she was already infected. And she was pregnant. Thank goodness her child, a boy, turned out negative.

Bibah had since forgiven her husband (oh well, sort of… I think it was more of feeling insecure if she separates with her husband) and is still together with him. And none of Bibah’s or her husband’s family members know of their HIV status.

Since their stay here in Ipoh had been prolonged, Bibah had got herself a job as a helper at a canteen. Her husband does wiring work. But what I’m concerned about is the fact that the husband, according to Bibah, is still taking drugs. Sigh…

Anyway, the couple plans to go back to Bibah’s home state by the end of this year.

The next case referred to me was a single young lady, Vasanthi. Recently a friend of hers told her that she heard about Vasanthi’s ex-boyfriend having AIDS. Worried, Vasanthi went for blood test, and regrettably, the result came out positive. Not wanting her elderly parents to know, she confided in her cousin in KL, who advised her to go for a second opinion in KL. She just told her parents that she was going to attend a friend’s wedding in KL, and her cousin helped to get her tested and referred to Sg Buloh Hospital. But she can’t be giving the same excuse to her parents every time she needs to go for appointments, so she was advised to fix her appointments in Ipoh instead. Although there is an HIV clinic at the hospital in the town where she and her parents stay, Vasanthi wanted to avoid having friends or relatives bumping into her at the HIV clinic, so she opted for Ipoh.

Even for Wednesday’s hospital appointment, Vasanthi’s parents thought she was out for work. She should be able to get back before office hour ends, so there shouldn’t be any problem of her parents asking where she went. (Unless of course, her father suddenly decides to drop by her office lah kan…)

Vasanthi seemed calm, but the moment she started telling me her story, tears started flowing. I think all she needed was just to get things out of her system. Now it seems she has a new boyfriend, who knows about her HIV but still willing to accept her in his life. Vasanthi had however, told him to think things over.

There was no further new case referred to me after Vasanthi’s, but one familiar looking lady did walk in. It was Wan, the Orang Asli lady whose kampong is only accessible by motorbikes and 4-wheel drives. We had been trying to call her for our recent Family Day, to no avail. Apparently Wan had changed her phone number because one guy, trying to woo her, kept calling her.

“Kalau ya pun tukar nombor kenapa tak bagitau? Saya sikit lagi aje nak stopkan bantuan bulanan untuk anak awak,” I said to her.

“Saya hilang nombor telefon kakak!” came the reply.

Her son came along with her as he was unwell and needed to see a doctor. That was the first time I met her son, who is under our Education Sponsorship program. Hairul, 12, will be sitting for his UPSR this year. Very active in sports too, in fact he represents the state for sepak takraw and so he got to go to other states as well.

Wan now works at a rubber plantation, earning a take home pay of just about RM250/month. During the weekdays, she stays in a rented home in town with a few other friends and only goes back to her kampong house on weekends. Luckily Hairul’s school provides hostel facilities to all the Orang Asli kids. Every Friday after school, the children will walk home, which may take an hour or so. Imagine if they have to walk to school every day.

With a take-home pay of RM250, Wan definitely needs extra help. When her husband was still alive, they used to get monthly aid from the Welfare Department. After her husband died, the financial aid was transferred to her name. But after a while, it stopped. I think that was mainly because Wan had not only changed her phone number, she also moved to her parent’s kampong without informing the department. The previous aid came from the Welfare Office of another district, Wan should have informed them when she moved to another district.

I may need to get her buddy to help out in this since the buddy stays in the town where the district welfare office is.

Meeting up with a new client…

2011-07-13T21:39:00.001+08:00

Almost 3 weeks ago, while I was driving to KL, a call came in from a lady. Initially I thought she was an HIV+ lady needing someone to talk to, but apparently she was seeking help for her older sister, Mimi who was infected. The lady who called me, Lia, was the one taking care of Mimi at home, with full support from Lia’s husband.

Since I was driving, it wasn’t really the right time for us to chat. And usually I prefer to meet face to face as I’d be able to get more info that way rather than just speaking on the phone. So I told Lia, I’d try to visit in about 2 weeks time. I was then quite busy with the Family Day preparations.

I almost forgot about Mimi and Lia until end of last week when I was planning some visits to the homes of my clients. Immediately I called Lia to find out if it was okay for me to visit them this week. Lia was actually waiting for my call. I asked her to SMS me her address, but she instead just gave me directions to a place I was not too familiar with.

So yesterday morning, I sent a text message to Lia, asking her to text me her house address so I could set it in my GPS. There was no answer, so I just set my GPS to the name of the taman I thought Lia mentioned when I spoke to her last week.

As I was driving at the highway, Lia called. She said she was unable to use the SMS function on her phone and so she called to give me the address. I was driving and was not in a position to write down the address, and so had to memorise the address. And apparently the name of the taman I thought she mentioned last week was also wrong. She mentioned “damai”, I remembered it as “aman”… :-)

After exiting at the toll house, I stopped by the road side to reset my GPS. Alamak, the taman was not listed in my GPS. I had no choice but to depend on the directions Lia gave me earlier last week. As I was about to move on, Lia called again. It seems Mimi no longer wanted to stay with Lia and had decided to move back to her own home on Sunday. So Lia asked if I still wanted to visit if Mimi wasn’t around. I told Lia we could still discuss how we could help Mimi.

So I continued my drive, and without a problem, I found the junction leading to the taman, as there was a huge signboard listing all the tamans in the area. Only problem was, once I got in to that junction, there was no further signboard indicating which way was this taman and which way was that taman. But I remembered Lia mentioning earlier about passing by a mini market and so the moment I saw the mini market, I stopped to call Lia.

“Akak jalan teruuuus sampai hujung belok kiri, hujung lagi belok kiri lagi. Saya tunggu kat luar rumah pakai baju warna merah, eh, pink!”

Ah, the house wasn’t too hard to find after all, if only they had put up proper signboards leading to the various tamans…

Lia was quite friendly. She immediately opened up about lots of things. About how their parents died when they were young, and how the siblings got separated, one taken care by aunt, one by grand aunt etc. So they were not really close to each other until much later in their lives after they got married.

Mimi herself was unlucky to have married a hard core drug addict.

“Dah lama ke suami dia meninggal?” I asked Lia about Mimi’s husband.

“Eh, bukan meninggal… cerai,” Lia replied. “Tapi sekarang ni tak tau lah dia di mana. Hidup lagi ke tidak pun entah!”

All her married life, Mimi was the one who had to work and support the family. Her husband was always in and out of Pusat Serenti. They have 2 sons, both grown up now. The older boy is working in another state, earning just enough to support himself, while the younger one for the moment stays together with Mimi.

They finally got divorced about 3 or 4 years ago, not knowing that they were both infected. It was only recently when Mimi was down with TB and had to be hospitalised did she find out that she had HIV. By then her condition was so bad, whenever relatives visited, they all thought Mimi didn’t have that long to live. And things got worse when Mimi fell and became half-paralysed. So Lia took Mimi to her home to take care of her.

Mimi did get better physically. She still walks with a little difficulty but at least she can already walk. But ever since diagnosed with HIV, Mimi became ultra sensitive. Any advise given to her, especially by family members, she’d think she had become a burden to the family and that the whole family hated her. And because she had not forgiven her husband for what happened to her, from time to time she’d say to Lia, “Engko percaya sangat la laki engko tu. Entah dia keluar pergi mana entah.” Sometimes, Lia did get somewhat influenced, making her feel suspicious of her husband.

Mimi finally decided to move back to her own house (bought when she was still working) last Sunday, after she got a compensation of RM18K from her former employers when they had to close down some time ago. When Lia told her yesterday that I was coming over, at first Mimi said she didn’t want to come. Which was why Lia called to inform me that Mimi had gone back to her own home.

How long can RM18K last? The moment Mimi got her compensation, her son, who was staying with her, asked for a new motorbike. And the moment he got his motorbike, he stopped working! (he was earlier working for an uncle)

Lia’s main concern was if the son would really take care of Mimi. All the while Lia made sure Mimi took all her medication on time, took her to the hospital etc.

“Akak jumpa dia nanti, akak tanyalah sendiri,” Lia told me.

“Dia nak datang ke? Tadi kata dia takde?”

“Dah, saya dah telefon dia balik, cakap akak dah on the way. Saya kata akak nak bincang macam mana boleh tolong dia. Nanti kejap lagi dia datang, anak dia bawak.”

After a while Mimi arrived with her son on a motorbike. While she could walk, I could see she was still walking with difficulty.

“Ni dah dok rumah sendiri, boleh ke masak?”

“Saya sikit-sikit bolehlah. Masak, anak yang masak.”

“Pandai dia masak?”

“Masak orang bujang, bolehlah…”

The problem now is, the son got himself a job in another state, starting August, meaning his mother will be alone at home, if she still insists on staying in her own house. Given her condition, I don’t think it’s advisable. But the son didn’t seem too bothered about how his mother will cope alone at home.

Anyway, I looked through all her documents, and obviously Mimi should be able to apply for Socso’s disability pension. I taught both Lia and Mimi on how to go about, especially in getting the doctor’s report. Mimi had initially thought she’d just bring the form during her next appointment in Ipoh and ask the doctor to fill in and sign the form there and then. I told them they wouldn’t be able to get the report that way.

I think I may need to do a few follow up visits to Mimi’s house. Although initially it was Lia who called me to seek help for her sister, from my visit yesterday, Mimi seemed receptive enough to allow me to visit her at her own home. As Lia told me earlier, sometimes Mimi would prefer to listen to others rather than her own family, which was why Lia sought my help in the first place.

I’d probably be able to get more info from Mimi too if I meet her alone…

Visiting Sofie at her newly rented home…

2011-07-11T16:37:00.001+08:00

In my earlier posting here, I mentioned about Sofie having to move again after her sister, whom she had been sharing the house rent of RM250 with, was offered free accommodation by her employers near her workplace. With no fixed income, Sofie couldn’t afford to pay RM250 by herself, and so she immediately looked for a new place to rent.

She did manage to get a house at a rental rate of RM150, but nearer to her old place (where the condition was so bad), which means she may need to have her children’s schools transferred yet again. For the moment the children are still schooling at the old school, although they may need to leave their house earlier than usual.

Sofie did tell me (during the Family Day) that she’d be moving to the new place during the week. So on Saturday I called her to ask if she had moved. I needed to visit and bring Saiful, her son, to an optician, as required by the ophthalmologist during his previous appointment. Sofie and her children were all already at the new place. I then asked for the address, and as usual, they themselves didn’t know their new address. I then asked for directions.

“Akak masuk aje *XXX, seberang jalan keretapi tu, sampai kat padang talipon saya. Nanti saya gi ambik naik motor.” (*cannot lah give the actual name of the place kan?)

Again, as I had expected, these clients of mine always ASSUME I know the place they’re talking about just because they are familiar with the place. I know of a pintu gerbang going in to Kampung XXX, so in my mind, that was the place Sofie was talking about.

So when I went this morning, I went straight to the Kampung XXX, but couldn’t find a railway track for me to pass. I then decided to head back to town, where I found a road by the name of Jalan Kampung XXX, and yes, immediately I saw a railway crossing. Drove pass the railway crossing, found the padang, and then I called her. She told me to wait. Within just a few minutes I saw Sofie on a motorbike together with Ika, her youngest daughter.

I then followed her motorbike, and had to pass through some back lanes before reaching her house.

For a rental of RM150, I must say the house is quite spacious. And with not so many things such as furniture, the house looked even more spacious. The moment I walked in, I saw the old mechanical sewing machine that I brought for her last year. Still working and still being used, alhamdulillah.

Further than her old place, but so far things are looking good. She just moved in last week, and already she’s getting orders to supply kuih for the nearby hospital canteen, and also to supply kuih at the nearby pasar ramadhan for the coming fasting month. At least she can work from home, without having to stand too long selling the kuih herself at the hospital canteen or at the pasar ramadhan. And based on the place where she stays, even after Ramadhan she may be able to sell kuih and/or nasi lemak by the roadside near her house.

Yes, so far so good. I do hope she doesn’t have to move again anytime in the near future…

Pre-Ramadhan visits begin…

2011-07-09T12:28:00.001+08:00

With Ramadhan approaching and donations starting to come in meant for my PLHIV families, I figured I didn’t really have much time left for me to do my pre-Ramadhan visits.

On Thursday I started buying some groceries – rice, cooking oil, sugar, flour, canned food, biscuits, cordial, etc, thinking of storing them at the Buddies Centre so that whenever I decide to visit any of my clients, I’d just go to the Centre and get the groceries from there.

Right after putting all the stuff in my car, I thought there was still time, so I called Fuzi to find out if she was home. As soon as she said she was home and wasn’t planning to go anywhere, I told her I was coming over. Might as well settle one family first since I didn’t have any other plans. After all, I had already got photos of our Family Day printed and sorted out to be given to the various families, and I’m sure the kids were eagerly waiting to see their photos.

So off I headed to Fuzi’s house. I got there at about 11 am or so…. saw Ijam already in his school uniform, waiting for the school bus to come. Iwan, the youngest boy, was at a neighbour’s house, playing with some friends.

Anyway, Fuzi was telling me her problem with her boys. While the 2 girls had never been a problem for her, the boys tend to befriend naughty boys who would ponteng sekolah as and when they like. Sometimes, when one of the friends decide not to go to school for “not feeling well” (although they were well enough to go out and play), the friend would come over to the house to “cari gang” so that Fuzi’s son too would ponteng as well. Of course Fuzi refused to let her sons ponteng, but sometimes the sons can be very stubborn.

I know it had never been easy for Fuzi. But she’s lucky her 2 daughters had always been responsible and reliable.

On Friday, I promised to meet up with Shila at the hospital after she’s done with some check-up. Told her to give me a call once she’s done.

While waiting for Shila to call, I went to a hypermarket to buy some things for myself. But before I got down from my car, I decided to call Aini to check how she was doing. Aini was the one who got warded last week and had to miss our Family Day although she and her children had always been regulars to the event. I thought if Aini was home then maybe I could visit her at home as well. But Aini said she was at the post office.

I then got down from the car and as I was walking over to the escalator to get up to the hypermarket, I saw a few familiar faces… Aini and 2 of her children!! When she said she was at the post office, I thought it was the post office near her house. But apparently she was at the post office in the same building as the hypermarket!

“Ponteng sekolah ke?” I asked her daughter.

“Mana ada! Ni dari sekolahlah ni…”

It was report card day, and Aini & her 2 children just came from her daughter’s school to get her report card. Aini needed to buy a pair of trackbottom for her son and so after getting the daughter’s report card, they immediately headed to the hypermarket.

“Hah, dah alang-alang jumpa Makcik Afizah kat sini, tunjuk terus keputusan kat dia,” Aini told her daughter. And she responded with, “Alaaaaa…..” but still took out her results anyway. A string of B’s, C’s and D’s… but she still managed to come out top in her class. She’ll be sitting for her SPVM this year.

I showed them some pics of the Family Day that they missed.

“Alaaa bestnya… makcik buat la lagi sekali… untuk kitorang je!”

I was still holding the report card when the girl said, “Tu makcik nak frame ke?” Hehehe… sorry girl, I forgot to give back lah!!

By about 10.30 am or so, I headed to the hospital. Even though Shila had not called yet, I wanted to see SN at the HIV clinic to ask a few things, particularly regarding payments for the hospital bills. Shila had just got her bill for the time when she was warded some time back, amounting to RM68, which she couldn’t afford to pay because she’s not working. Apparently Aini didn’t have to pay when she was discharged on Monday, she just told the lady at the counter (as instructed to her by SN) that hers was an HIV case, and so she was exempted from payment.

Aini could have still got the exempt from payment by showing her JKM card, like I did for Sofie before. Shila however, does not have a JKM card because she is not getting any financial assistance from the Welfare Department. She has applied, but was told they didn’t approve her application because she had only one child. And after checking with the nurse at the HIV clinic, Shila couldn’t get exemption because of her HIV either. She was warded earlier for something else, not HIV-related, and as such the exemption from payment did not apply in her case.

So how? Well, by the time Shila called me to say she was done with her check-up, I went over to see her, and settled the bill for her. Since we now have our Clients Welfare Fund, we use the funds for cases like this.

Shila’s 11 year old daughter Laila also came along to the hospital to accompany her mother. She self-declared the day a holiday for her because she wanted to follow her mother to Ipoh.

Anyway, by the time we settled the hospital bill etc, Shila was already very hungry. She had to fast before coming to the hospital for some scanning etc, so she hadn’t had anything to eat in the morning. I brought them both to the nearby mall because Shila and daughter wanted to jalan-jalan after that, and immediately took them for lunch at one of the fast good outlets there. Shila and Laila often go to the mall after any of Shila’s hospital appointments, and the daughter would always ask the mother if she could eat at the fast food outlet, but Shila simply couldn’t afford it there. So when I asked if she’d like to eat there (I didn’t know earlier that the girl had always wanted to eat there), Laila just smiled and nodded.

After lunch I left them there and headed home. A few more visits to be done next week, including one to the home of a new client whom I have not met before…

Mixing around with the families…

2011-07-07T08:41:00.002+08:00

With more than 60% of the attendees of our Family Day last Sunday consisting of my clients and their families, while the rest, even though not my client, do at least know me other than their own buddy, I made it a point to make sure I chatted with each and every one of them.

Sofie and her 4 children, Lin and her 3 children, Fuzi and her 5 children, Zainab and her 2 children, are all already very familiar with me because I visit them often. And even though I don’t visit the K’s that often, all 4 children are also familiar with me.

I had not met Jay’s children before, usually I’d meet her only at the hospital when the children aren’t around. So yes, I finally got to meet her 3 children. Then there’s Aza, whom I only met once when I visited her at home, before passing her case to somebody else.

When I got to The Roots, a few clients and families were already there. Fuzi and family, Shila and daughter, Kamala and daughter, Pushpa and her aunt (Pushpa is an HIV+ orphan who stays her aunt) plus one male client I wasn’t quite familiar with but I know I’ve met him before.

Kamala & daughter, together with Pushpa & her aunt were going around enjoying the scenery. They were actually looking for Kamala’s buddy, who was supposed to come but didn’t turn up and never even bothered to inform me. But I’ve visited both Kamala and Pushpa before during my assessment visits, so the moment they saw me, they immediately came over to me to say hello. Most of the time during the day the 4 of them were together, but they still joined the rest for the games and activities.

Lin had adult daughters who were like friends to her, so I didn’t really see her chatting much with the rest of the ladies. However I was glad that at the swimming pool, she and her daughters did take the liberty to look after the 2 girls of a client who didn’t come with their parent, as their father was too weak to come. But whenever Lin saw me chatting with the other ladies, she’d take the opportunity to join me in the conversation. I guess she’s just the type who doesn’t know how to start a conversation with people she’s not too familiar with.

One person who didn’t have any problems making friends was Rin. Talkative and friendly, Rin however sometimes tend to forget that not everyone can understand her Parit dialect.

Fuzi and her children, being regulars to our Annual Family Day, had no problems letting their hair down. Her children joined every single activity. Likewise, Sofie’s children had a swell time too, although her eldest son decided not to jump into the pool. Her 2nd son, Azman, the kaki sakat, had a swell time.

The K’s came in full force – all 6 of them. It was nice to see the eldest son Shah (I think he’s 20 this year) taking good care of his 4 year old sister in the pool. The other children too seemed to be enjoying themselves.

For Zainab, it was only her 2nd time joining our Family Day. The first time was back in 2007. This time however, she came only with her 2 daughters. Her husband, however, chose not to come. I guess he wanted to avoid having anyone “lecturing” him because he had been defaulting all his hospital appointments. It was Zainab’s 6 year old who almost got herself drowned when, upon seeing the other older children in the adults pool, decided to simply jump into the adults pool instead of the children’s pool. That happened while Zainab was chatting with one of the other ladies. Then Shila shouted, “Anak siapa tu?!” Upon seeing her daughter struggling, Zainab immediately jumped into the pool to save her daughter. After that both her daughters made sure they remained in the children’s pool.

Hana couldn’t come for the family day as she had to work, but that didn’t stop her children and their grandma (Hana’s mother) from joining us. The grandma just sat around watching over her grandchildren who were having fun in the pool. But she was so sporting, when we were taking the group photo and the photographer said, “OK, freestyle!" she sportingly raised both hands and showed the peace sign.

One of the ladies did mention to a colleague of mine that under normal circumstances, she and her children wouldn’t be able to come to places like this.

At the end of the day, I could see that none of them regretted coming (although I know a few of them, especially the first timers, had second thoughts earlier on whether they should join us). In fact I think they really had a good time. When we were getting ready to go home, first Mrs K came over to me, “Kak, kejap kak… nak bergambar. Along cepat Along, ambik gambar mak dengan Kak Zah!” (note: Mrs K is the only person calling me Kak Zah) Then Rin quickly took out her camera, “Eh, saya pun nak jugak!” and passed her camera to Mrs K’s son. Finally I called all the kaum ibu who were there and we all took a photo together…

The day after the event, I received a text message from Rin, "Jutaan terima kasih banyak pada semua yang terlibat tempoh hari lebih2 lagi akak sebab susah payah untuk kami. Saya dapat banyak kenalan baru yang senasib. Kami happy. Saya doakan semoga akak dirahmati & Allah akan memberkati hidup akak sekeluarga."

Ahh… that made it worth all the effort…

Family Day at The Roots

2011-07-04T09:35:00.002+08:00

While I was conducting the committee elections during the TKCOGA AGM on Saturday, a text message came in on my handphone. It came from Halimah, a client of mine who’s supposed to join the Buddies Family Day on Sunday, and whose family was supposed to be picked up by the bus we’ve arranged from Taiping. I was busy then so I figured I’d act on it after the AGM.

By the time I got home, I totally forgot about Halimah’s text message. Fully aware that I’d have another busy day on Sunday, all I wanted to do was to have a good rest. It was only when I woke up on Sunday morning that I suddenly remembered Halimah’s message. Immediately I forwarded the message to the volunteer in Taiping taking care of the northern group.

By 7.15 am I left home – first, to fetch Sofie’s family from their home. Then I immediately headed to the Ipoh bus station as I had promised to meet up with a few families there so we could go together to The Roots in Tanjung Rambutan. Lin’s family was coming by car (one of her daughters who had started working this year recently bought a car) but since they didn’t know the way to The Roots, they wanted to follow my car. Rin, like last year, borrowed her father’s car to come and like Lin, also wanted to follow my car. Then there was Mrs K and family who was supposed to come to Ipoh by bus. Zalia, the young mother whom I just met recently, was also supposed to meet me at the bus station, but when I tried calling her twice, she didn’t answer the phone. I got another volunteer to also come to the bus station so that those without transport could go in her car to our family day venue.

I got to the bus station 10 minutes early. My fellow volunteer had called me to say she may be a bit late as yesterday was also the day for the Ipoh International Run and so all the cars had to give way to the runners.

After a while, I thought I saw Lin and her children pass by in their car. I had already told all the clients to wait at the open space in front of the Poslaju beside the bus station to make it easier for us to wait instead of at the bus station proper which is always busy. When I saw their car pass without entering the area, I immediately called Lin. Her daughter who was driving, went ahead to the nearby Post Office near the railway station instead because as she told her mother, “Macam takde orang je mak…” I told them to turn back and then I waited outside my car so they could see me.

Next to arrive was my fellow volunteer. She had gone to fetch 2 daughters of her client first before coming to meet us. The client was rather weak to join us for the family day, but allowed his 2 daughters to join us. Next came Rin. With her were not only her children but also Mrs K’s children. Apparently, since Rin still had to drive pass their way, she hitched a ride for the children while Mr & Mrs K got there a few minutes later by motorbike.

Since there was space in my fellow volunteer’s car, Mr K parked his motorbike at a safe place and then both he and his wife got into my colleague’s car. It would be much easier rather than having to follow us in their motorbike.

So off we went to The Roots, and we got there just on time – we were supposed to start off with breakfast at 9 am. 2 volunteers and a few clients, including Fuzi and her children, were already there. And since I noticed breakfast was ready, I told those who were already there, to have breakfast first while waiting for the rest to arrive.

The group from north arrived a little while later. Initially a total of 21 people were supposed to join the bus from Taiping but at the very last moment we had more cancellations and finally we ended up having only 9 people (including a volunteer) on the 30-seater bus!

Anyway, we had a spread of mee goreng, nasi lemak, banana cake, coffee & tea for breakfast. After breakfast, I gave them a short briefing on the do’s and don’ts and what activities we had lined up for the day.

We started off with the family event – treasure hunt. With only 4 clues in the form of Malay pantuns, it still wasn’t easy for the families to find the clues, even when they got to the right place!

Then the children took turns for the horse ride.

After that the children were allowed to jump into the pool. One 5 year old girl, upon seeing that quite a number of older children having no problem swimming in the adults pool, simply jumped into the adult pool and almost drowned herself! Luckily her mother saw her, and immediately jumped into the pool to get her daughter. I didn’t see the incident though, I was still with the children who were not done with the horse rides. Only when the girl’s mother, all wet, came to me and told me the incident, I again reminded all the parents to please make sure the children didn’t go where they weren’t supposed to go.

While the children had fun in the pool (we also had a pool game for the kids), some of us decided to enjoy the scenery…

By 12.30 pm lunch was served…

I walked around during lunch to let the children (including the older children) to pick out a number for the lucky draw. With the various sizes of pre-loved toys I managed to get from donors, we figured let them pick their own numbers. And since there were quite a few cancellations, I let the mothers also pick the extra numbers.

So once they were done with lunch, we gave away the prizes – first the prizes for the games then followed by the lucky draw prizes. When I announced that we were about to give away the prizes, some of the children (and their mothers too!) actually tailed me wherever I went!! But at the end of the day, everybody got something to bring home. Each family definitely with more than one prize.

By 2.30 pm, we left the place. Tired, but I could see happiness on the children’s faces… and satisfaction on the volunteer’s faces. We had a jolly good day!

Visiting a client at the hospital

2011-07-01T13:07:00.001+08:00

As I was busy calling/texting my clients who are coming for the Family Day, informing them of where to wait, who’s fetching them, what’s the car registration and phone numbers of the volunteers fetching them etc, a call came in from Aini. I had arranged for a trainee volunteer to fetch her at home and I just texted her the name and phone number of the volunteer.

Aini said she was at the hospital, warded. For the past few weeks, she had lost her appetite and had been feeling really weak. Even when she forced herself to eat anything, most of the time, she’d end up vomiting. Her siblings, who saw her looking really pale, had started questioning her on what her ailment really was. None, and I mean none at all, of her family members know she has HIV. Not even her children. But since Aini has kidney problems as well, they easily took her word that her paleness was due to her kidney problem.

On Wednesday, even though it wasn’t her appointment day, the nurse told her to just come to the clinic to see the specialist. She was afraid her condition may be the side effects of one of the ARV medication she was taking. Indeed, when the doctor saw her, the good doc told her to immediately stop the ARV she was taking. And based on her weak condition, she was immediately warded so they could put her on drips. Since she went to the hospital alone, on her own, Aini had to call her father to seek his help to get her things at home and to also take care of her children.

Today I decided to pay her a visit at the hospital. Decided to test my level of fitness as well, so took the stairs instead of the lift. I figured if at any time I felt too tired to continue, I’d just take the lift from whichever floor that I stopped. But nope, I made it all the way to the 8th floor using the stairs.

Aini was still on drip, but she was sitting on a chair, reading a newspaper. She looked much better, in fact she said she felt much better and could already take in food. Definitely her earlier condition was due to one of the ARV she was taking. After she’s discharged later, Aini will have to go see the specialist again, and the doctor will have to start her off on another regime of ARV.

According to Aini, she was told that very likely she can only be discharged on Monday. Which means Sunday’s family day is a definite no for her and her kids. Too bad.

Aini was quite concerned that her daughter, who looks after her at the hospital, may end up looking through Aini’s file and find the word “HIV” there. The girl will be sitting for her SPM this year, and Aini didn’t want news like this to affect her studies. I told Aini to just be prepared to talk to her just in case. Another concern of hers was the hospital bill when she gets discharged. I told her not to worry, since she does get monthly financial aid from the welfare department, all she has to do is to show her welfare card at the payment counter when she or her daughter goes to get clearance for discharge. In any event, I told Aini to just give me a call if she gets into any problem with the hospital bill.

I didn’t see Aini’s daughter outside when I came, but after Aini told me that her daughter spent the night at the hospital to accompany her, when I left the ward I decided to look for her. There she was chatting with a newfound friend who was also accompanying her mother. Aini’s daughter was surprised to see me there since it wasn’t visiting hours yet.

“Ponteng sekolah ek?” I teased her.

“Nak buat macam mana, ada orang tu manja, kena tunggu,” she said, smiling.

Anyway, she said she had already informed her teacher, and she had only missed school for 2 days while tomorrow is already Saturday. Hopefully Aini will indeed be discharged by Monday.

As for myself, after walking up 192 steps to the 8th floor, and still feeling okay, I decided to go down the same way. Yep, another 192 steps, which took less time than going up.

Moving again?

2011-06-29T15:46:00.001+08:00

With 2 events to attend this coming weekend, this week is quite a busy week for me. Other than having to ensure the overall smooth running of our Family Day on Sunday, most of the attendees will be my clients and so I’ve got to make quite a number of calls to remind them of the event and to inform them on the where, when and whatever else. And I’ve got to make sure things are settled by Friday, because on Saturday I’d have to go to Putrajaya to attend the MGC/TKC OGA AGM. This one I need to attend as there will be committee elections this year and one sure way of not becoming elected is to agree to become the “election officer”. Otherwise there are bound to be people who’d approach me and say, “I nominate your name ok?”

It is also nearing the end of the month, which means it is also time for my monthly grocery delivery. I needed to remind Sofie anyway of what time I’d be fetching them on Sunday morning, so today I went to first buy the groceries, called Sofie to make sure she’s home and then immediately headed to her house.

Saiful helped me to carry the groceries down from my car, while Ika was having her bath. “Kelam-kabut dia bangun dengar kata akak nak datang tadi,” said Sofie.

Anyway, Sofie told me that her sister, who stays with her and with whom she’s been sharing to pay the house rental of RM250, was offered free accommodation by her employer at her workplace. That would of course save a her a lot of money – no rental to pay, and cut costs on transportation too as the accommodation is right behind the factory where she works.

Good for Sofie’s sister, but now Sofie has a problem. She simply cannot afford to pay RM250 per month alone. “Saya dengan anak-anak nak makan apa nanti kak?”

Sofie doesn’t have a job. Every time she felt better she’d try getting herself a job and ended up with all sorts of medical complications as she is not really fit yet. Her only source of income now (other than the RM200 financial aid we’ve arranged for her) is by taking orders to cook food or kuih-muih. She cooks at home and the customers would come and get the food from her home. But it’s not fixed, and it’s not consistent either.

Poor Sofie. When I first met her, she was so weak and poor she had no choice but to seek refuge at her eldest sister’s house. She was so weak, whenever I visited, she was most of the time lying down on a mattress. I started arranging for various assistance for her – groceries, bicycles for the children etc. Apparently, most of the assistance were misused by her sister’s family. Sofie could still tolerate that, but when the sister’s family including the children started saying harsh things about Sofie and her children, Sofie simply couldn’t take it any longer. I noticed whenever I visited, Sofie’s children didn’t talk much either.

Then when I managed to get additional financial assistance for Sofie, she finally moved to another house within the same neighbourhood. The rental was RM150, and the condition of the house was rather bad, but the children seemed happier the moment they moved out of their aunt’s house.

But things didn’t end there. Not satisfied that she could no longer “tumpang” the aid Sofie was getting, the sister started telling the neighbourhood that Sofie had HIV. In addition to that, the landlord didn’t bother to repair whatever that was faulty in the house. The chance to move out finally came, when a more sympathetic sister moved to Perak to stay with Sofie and so they found a better house with a rental of RM250 – shared equally by both.

It seemed okay for a while at that house, until the landlord started charging them unbelievably high water charges. You see, the landlord built a row of houses – all sharing the same water meter and so the landlord would bill them every month for the water usage for the whole block of houses he built. The thing was, at that time, the landlord was also building another row of houses using the same water meter. Surely the high usage of water would come mostly from the construction right? But the landlord billed the tenants who were there. Who could tahan being billed RM200 per month for water?!

So yes, they moved again. This time to a much better and bigger house, with the same rental rate of RM250, and with individual electricity and water bills, therefore they ddn’t have to worry about being charged for electricity or water which they didn’t use. The house is also nearer to Ipoh and so it had been easier for me to visit them regularly on monthly basis. Things seemed much better for Sofie.

That was until recently when Sofie’s sister was offered free accommodation by her employer. The accommodation is right behind the factory where she works. Of course, Sofie’s sister couldn’t resist the offer. She not only gets to save on rental, but also transportation!

The problem now is Sofie simply cannot afford to pay a rental of RM250 all by herself. Like it or not, she needs to find a cheaper house to rent. But where? She did tell me that she had gone looking for houses to rent but so far the cheapest she could find was RM200/month but not practical location-wise. Seriously, if she wants to reduce the rent by just RM50 but at same time she has to spend more on other things (like transportation etc), then it’s probably not worth it. Sofie had been eyeing a particular house she felt was practical but had yet to speak to the landlord. So she didn’t know what the rental was like.

Later when I got home, Sofie called. She said she finally managed to speak to the landlord of the house that she had been eyeing, and the landlord agreed to rent it out to her for RM150/month.

“Macam mana kak? Boleh tak saya pindah sana?” Whoah… why did she sound like she needed my permission to move to that house? Told her it was her decision. To me, as long as she doesn’t get into difficulty getting transportation for the children to go to school, and for her to go to the hospital, I’d support her decision.

Chances are this Sunday will be the last I’d be fetching her at the present house before Sofie and her children move again…

The young mother

2011-06-27T16:34:00.001+08:00

When Zalia called on Saturday, saying she’d be going to the hospital on Monday morning for her blood tests, I figured I might as well see her then. So I asked her what time she expected to be done with her blood test, she said she should finish rather early as she needed to fast before her blood is taken, and so she intended to be there by 8 am. I told her to wait for me in front of the doctor’s room of the HIV clinic at 9.30 am. It would be difficult for us to recognise each other if we were to meet elsewhere.

By 9 am I was already at the hospital. Went straight to the doctor’s room and when the nurse saw me, she said, “Eh, hari ni takde kes!” The doctor was supposed to attend a meeting and so all appointments for the day were postponed to another day, and even the staff nurse took leave. When I told the nurse that I was there to see Zalia, and I asked her if Zalia was already outside the room, the nurse took a peek outside the door, even called out Zalia’s name, but nope, she wasn’t there.

So I decided to call Zalia to tell her I was already there. According to Zalia she was still waiting for her turn.

While waiting for Zalia to come up, I asked the nurse for Zalia’s file so I could get her details. When SN called me last week to refer Zalia’s case to me, and she told me that Zalia stays with her mak angkat instead of her own mother, I had actually expected Zalia to be one of those problematic young ladies. True enough, when I read through her file, indeed she had gone through such a problematic life as a teenager.

Raped at 15 by different people – unreported. Raped at 16 by her boyfriend, got pregnant, did D&C, again unreported. Stopped schooling and didn’t even complete form 5. Got pregnant again, this time she was married off to the boyfriend. And she gave birth at 18 to a baby girl. It was during this pregnancy that she found out she had HIV. From the file I noticed that her case was referred to Buddies in 2009 (I wasn’t on duty then) but was not assigned any Buddies. I guess at that time she was with her husband and they probably felt they didn’t need our services. Now she is divorced, and that was why she came to seek help from SN last week and so SN called me up to refer her case to me.

After taking down all her details from the file, it was already 9.45 am but Zalia had still not come up yet. The nurse went out to get a drink for herself and so there I was all alone at the doctor’s room. Hehehe… macam doctor le pulak! I called Zalia again, and she said her turn was 3 numbers away. So I told her to come in straight to the doctor’s room once she’s done instead of waiting outside the room as mentioned earlier.

After a while, I heard a knock on the door before a young woman opened the door. “Kak Afizah?” she asked. It was Zalia. Called her in to sit beside me and we started chatting.

After her divorce, Zalia stayed with her parents, but after a while she stayied with her mak angkat because “ada konflik sikit dengan mak”, she said. Zalia herself did work for a while last year but for the moment she’s not working and is still looking around for a job.

When I asked who had been supporting her child, she said the child is being taken care by her parents but her parents had been grumbling about her not contributing anything to the child’s needs.

Apparently the conflict between Zalia and her mother started when Zalia wanted to marry another guy after her divorce, and her mother didn’t approve of this guy.

“Kenapa mak tak suka?” I asked.

“Sebab boyfriend saya ni panas baran sikit.”

“Laahai, dah tau dia panas baran pun awak nak jugak kawin dengan dia?”

“Hati dia baik kak. Dia terima saya walau tau saya ada HIV.”

Ahh… but of course, before marriage even kentut pun wangi kaaan…

The mother had also been nagging her to get some assistance for the child’s upbringing. Zalia’s parents are not well to do, and with 2 of Zalia’s younger siblings still schooling, buying diapers and milk for their grandchild can be quite a burden. Which is why Zalia is now looking around for assistance while she can find herself a job and get back on her feet.

“Tak nak ke jaga anak tu sendiri?” I asked again.

“Nak, tapi tak mampu, nak buat macam mana?”

“Habis tu, tak nak balik dok dengan mak? Boleh jaga anak sekali.”

“Saya tak berani la kak. Rindu sangat dengan anak tapi tak berani nak balik.”

I promised Zalia I’d try to get supplies of diapers and milks powder for her daughter, but where was I to send the stuff if I get them? Send them to Zalia, her child is not staying with her. Zalia said I could send them direct to her mother, but her mother doesn’t even know me. So I asked Zalia if she’d come along with me to her mother’s house during my first visit. Other than sending the stuff for her child’s use, Zalia would be able to see both her daughter and her mother as well.

Zalia agreed to my idea. Which means she actually wants to go home but afraid to.

Well, all that will have to wait until after next week. Will be busy this week to ensure our Family Day on Sunday runs smoothly. I’d need to call my clients to remind them of where and when to wait, or if they are going on their own, how to get to the place. As of this moment I am still trying to figure out who will be fetching 2 more families…

2 more women to check on…

2011-06-25T18:35:00.001+08:00

I was getting ready to go out on Thursday morning when a call came in from SN at the HIV clinic. In front of her at the clinic was a young single mother with a 2 year old child who needed help. We only send volunteers to the HIV clinic on Wednesdays, so on that particular day, none of our volunteers were at the hospital.

Knowing SN, she’d usually only call me direct to refer me a case if it was a real desperate case. From the basic info I got from SN, yes, I agree this lady may be quite desperate.

The lady, Zalia, just recently got divorced, and the ex-husband just left like that without leaving her anything or giving any financial support for the child. Zalia is not working, and therefore cannot afford to buy all the diapers and milk for her child. SN asked if Buddies could help her out.

I told SN we can try to help, but I’d need to visit her first to assess her situation. We can’t simply give her assistance just by listening to her story. Some people want help but become reluctant when we ask if we could visit them at home.

I heard SN asking the young mother if she’d allow me to visit her at home. Well, not her home exactly. It seems she’s staying with her “mak angkat” instead of her own mother. Hmmm… does she have a problem with her own family?

I am not going to assume anything as yet. Zalia has allowed me to visit her, so probably one of the days this coming week, I may give her a call and visit her to get more info about her.

Yesterday, as I was driving at the PLUS expressway on my way to KL, a call came in on my handphone. When I answered the call, I heard a lady’s voice, “Ni Puan Afizah ke dari…. errrrr…. badis ke budis?” Hehehe… another one of those who’s not sure how to pronounce Buddies, but at least she bothered to ask how it’s pronounced rather than some people who’d straight away pronounce it as Buddhist…

I couldn’t hear her too well at the expressway and using my bluetooth to answer, so I told her I’d call her back when it’s more convenient. So yes, since I needed to do a pit-stop… errr…. pee-stop at Ulu Bernam, I decided to return her call then.

The lady who called me wasn’t the one who is HIV infected. It’s her sister, Mimi. Mimi’s husband passed away some time back, and her 2 children are grown up (in their early 20’s). At one time, Mimi was bedridden and all the while she had been taken care of by her sister, the one who called me. So no, Mimi definitely doesn’t need our help under children education.

According to the sister, Mimi can at times be very difficult. When she feels down, she thinks everyone hates her and she starts asking why she’s not dead yet. Although the sister tries her very best to understand and empathise, sometimes it is stressful for her as well. She has her own family to take care of, (and luckily her husband understands and doesn’t mind that she’s taking care of her sister) and when Mimi becomes difficult to please, then she too would feel so stressed out. She can’t let things out by simply talking things out with anybody, since Mimi has HIV, which is a very sensitive issue. So when she found out about Buddies, she thought she might as well give it a try.

I asked if it was alright if I visit them at home. I mean, Mimi may not be too pleased that her sister had told someone else about her HIV. According to the sister, just say that SN was the one who asked me to check on her case. Mimi usually listens to SN more than anyone else.

I promised Mimi’s sister I’d try to visit them after next weekend. Will be pretty busy this coming week, with an AGM to attend in Putrajaya on Saturday and our Family Day on Sunday, plus I’d need to slot in one of the days within the week to visit the young single mother with the 2 year old child since their case sounds more urgent.

Ooops… just as I was typing this post, Zalia called and asked when we could meet. She sounded rather desperate. Since she needs to go to the hospital on Monday for her blood test, I told her to wait for me at the hospital after her blood test is done.

So yes, on Monday I’ve got a date with Zalia…

Another day at the clinic

2011-06-22T21:10:00.001+08:00

As I got to the main entrance of Ipoh GH this morning, I knew finding a parking space would be tough. I didn’t even bother trying to find a nearby parking space… I just went one round and straight away I went to park my car where nobody would go to unless they had to. It was quite a walking distance, but since I was no longer limping, I figured the much needed exercise would do me good.

I didn’t have a chance to sit yet when the nurse told me that a client wanted to see me. Not a new case, but an old case. The lady Shanti, had been receiving our assistance earlier under the Children Education Fund for their back-to-school expenses.

Shanti’s husband passed away a few years ago and since then she and her 3 children had been staying at her father’s house, living on her father’s pension. She worked before but now her father no longer allows her to work as she often gets into fits when she’s tired.

We managed to get her welfare aid of RM300 per month, but that’s hardly enough for her family. So she wanted to see me today to ask if we Buddies could help with her out. After listening to her, I told her we can’t help her for every single thing but we may be able to help out with the children’s school bus fares using our Children Education Fund. She seemed happy enough with that assurance.

I then checked with the nurse if there were any new cases to be referred to me. According to the nurse, there were none. But I still waited at the counselling room, hoping I may bump into any of my old clients whom I had not met for quite a while.

True enough, before long, Asiah walked in to get her supply of ARV. She handed over the slip to the pharmacist and then walked out (the pharmacist would call her in once the medication was ready). Asiah didn’t notice me. So I walked out to meet her. As we were chatting, her husband came by with their 1+ year old son. I was quite surprised that the husband actually acknowledged my presence, asked how I was doing and even said a few more words than that. Wow! That’s a whole lot of improvement. Usually, whenever I meet up with Asiah, he’d usually shy away and wait elsewhere. Even during last year’s Family Day, although he came with his family, he’d just sit by himself away from the rest.

Around 11.30 am or so, knowing that there were no new cases, I thought I might as well make a move. No point wasting my time there doing nothing. But before leaving, I went to take a peek at the area outside the doctor’s room, to see if there were any of my clients there. Sure glad I decided to take a peek… I saw Zainab there. I had been trying to get hold of her but my calls never got through. My guess was that she may no longer have a phone.

Zainab was chatting with another lady, and didn’t see me coming. So I went to stand right in front of her face. The moment she saw me, immediately she got up, gave me a hug, kissed my cheeks and said, “Ya Allah akak, lamanya tak jumpa, rindu kat akak!”

True enough, her old phone went kaput and she no longer has a phone. And since she works on shifts, it’s difficult for me to simply visit her at home. I don’t want to end up visiting her when she’s at work with only Zaki, her husband at home. Her daughter, Kakak, was warded for 10 days recently and although Zainab wanted to call me to inform me about it, she had lost my phone number.

I immediately invited her to our Family Day and after finding out the date, she immediately said yes. “Sekarang ni hari Ahad dah takde overtime dah kak,” she said. Actually she had been depending on overtime to earn extra income but of late the company where she works had not been doing too well and so there is very limited overtime given.

I asked if Zaki was still working at the same place. Somehow I wasn’t surprised when she said, “Ish, dia tu kak… mana kerja dah!” Typical of Zaki, always using his HIV as an excuse not work. Even when he finds himself a job, after a while, he’d find an excuse to quit. This wasn’t the first time – he had done so a few times already to the extent that every time he lands himself a job, the first question that comes to my mind is how long he’d last with the job.

It’s always Zainab who’s thinking of their 2 children. She too has HIV but even when she doesn’t feel too well (she also has high blood pressure), she’d be happy when she gets to do overtime for that would mean earning a bit extra for the month.

So now, Zainab pays for the rent, she pays for the food, she pays for the children’s needs. And the part I hate most, Zaki buys cigarettes using her income too. Sigh…

Mr Darling the Dalang…

2011-06-15T17:01:00.001+08:00

Once upon a time, back in 2007, when I wrote about Yah’s episode with Mr Darling… about how he proposed to her during their first meet, about how Yah simply gave her phone number to him, and about how after that Mr Darling started calling her and sending her text messages in the middle of the night, many of my blog readers told me to let them be. They’re both adults, they said, and since they’re both HIV+, then maybe they understand each other, bla, bla, bla. You can read the posting here. I wasn’t in favour of it because to me, it meant trouble.

At that time I had not yet been introduced to Lin, Mr D’s ex-wife, who only came into the picture in late 2007, after Yah had started going angau over Mr D.

To cut the story short, when Yah sort of started to stalk Mr D, he distanced himself from her. Thank goodness. It took quite some time for Yah to regain her sanity, but now she has started working and her children are all back staying with her again. Mr D tried to coax Lin to remarry him, to no avail. So finally he ended up marrying somebody else who never came into the picture before. I’m not even sure if the lady knew of his HIV status, or if she was a PLHIV herself, all I know is that she has a daughter from her earlier marriage.

Recently, during the PLHIV gathering we organised at the Ipoh GH, Lin pulled me aside and told me about Mr D raping his stepdaughter. We couldn’t really talk much then, since there were people around, so I didn’t really get much details. During one of my clinic duties after that, I did see Mr D, but he pretended he didn’t know who I was (we only met once at Lin’s house when he went to visit his children). When I met the nurse after that, the nurse said Mr D just told her that he was no longer with his wife, without giving much details. All he said was, “Susahlah, orang dah tak nak…”

I used to visit Lin on a regular basis last year – every month without fail to deliver groceries donated by a club. But the groceries supply was only until December last year, and after that Lin’s older children began to complete their studies, with 2 of them already working now, so I don’t really have to worry about supply of groceries for the family. They can already survive on their own. So I have reduced my visits to Lin’s house so I can concentrate on other needy cases.

Well, today I went to visit Lin again. Lin and her daughters are coming for the Family Day – they now have their own transport but they don’t know the way to the venue. So I figured the best way to explain to her how to get there is to meet her face to face. It won’t be easy explaining to her on the phone.

Oh well, since I’d need to fetch for some other families at the Ipoh bus station in the morning, Lin finally decided to wait at the bus station, and then just follow my car to the Family Day venue. Duh, that one I could have just told her on the phone…

But then again, I had not visited her at home for some time anyway, so it was still worth a visit. At least I could get more updates on her children.

I also took the opportunity to ask about Mr Darling’s case. None of her children were around, so Lin could be more open with me. Actually Lin herself knew all the story from her children since she herself did not see her ex-husband.

Lin and her children had not known that Mr Darling had to spend one whole week in the lock-up when he was remanded after his wife lodged a report against him for molesting her 14 year daughter, his stepdaughter. So one fine day, Mr Darling called his 3rd daughter, who had by then started working, to come and fetch him from the police-station. Thinking that all she had to do was to fetch him, the daughter went, only to find out that she had to BAIL him out. And so she did, albeit, reluctantly.

Mr Darling then stayed with his mother, his wife filed for divorce, and his stepdaughter taken back to her home-state, away from him.

Then one day, Mr D called his daughters asking to meet up with them, but outside, not at their grandma’s house where he’s staying. Apparently he wanted to tell them his version of the story before they heard from anybody else.

You’d probably think he’d tell them that he didn’t do anything much, that the report made to the police was brought out of proportion etc, but to my dismay, he actually told them that he stripped his stepdaughter’s clothes off to teach her a lesson… because she’s a bohsia. Only problem was he spoke in thick Perak dialect and the girls weren’t too sure of the meaning of certain words, and therefore they are not too sure if he had actually raped her, or he had inserted his fingers.

Anyway, even if he did not plead guilty to rape, he’s still guilty of molesting the girl. And even if it’s true the girl is such a bad girl, that didn’t give him the right to do what he did! And knowing his history of sleeping around with women even when he was still married to Lin, I doubt he didn’t satisfy his sex needs after seeing the girl totally naked.

What I don’t understand was how he could have told this to his own daughters – as though he didn’t do much wrong because the girl was a bad girl. She’s only 14 for heaven’s sake!!

His eldest daughter had never been fond of her father. This episode makes her hate him even more.

As it is, he is already making it sound as though his daughters “tak mengenang budi” because they don’t visit him at their grandma’s house.

Well, let’s just wait for the outcome of the case. Mr D now has to go to 2 different courts including the Syariah court for his divorce case. Not forgetting he has to report himself from time to time at the police station until the case is heard in court.

Mr Darling… Mr Darling… you can’t blame your children for staying away from you. First you gave HIV to their mother… they saw how their mother suffered right before their very eyes. And after the divorce, you didn’t bother to help them out financially either even though they are your children. And now THIS? You’re lucky they still agreed to see you when you asked to see them. Stop trying to make them feel guilty by saying they are anak durhaka. You are the one who should feel guilty, not them!

You b*****d!!

Preparations under way…

2011-06-12T16:41:00.001+08:00

3 weeks to go to our Family Day. Meetings are held every week now to ensure the smooth running of the whole thing. Venue has been confirmed. Now we’re waiting for the confirmation of the number of people attending before discussing on the logistics.

We’ve given everybody until Monday, 13th June to confirm attendance. My part time staff has been busy calling all volunteers, not only to confirm their own attendance, but also the attendance of their clients as well.

As of today, on my side, I already have confirmation of 50 attendees from my clients and their family members – including 19 children aged 12 and below. The other volunteers combined managed to get 10 of their clients/families to attend. Which means now we have 60 attendees not inclusive of volunteers. In my earlier confirmation with the management of our family day venue, I told them we may have about 70 attending. For the moment the figures look just about right… inclusive of volunteers. But there may be a few more additions by tomorrow.

On my side, the first few to confirm attendance were the regulars – Fuzi +5, Mrs K +5 & Aini +3. They’ve been joining our family day outing since 2007. Sofie and her children started attending last year, and looks like they too are going to be regulars. The year before, she was just referred to us, and since she was at that time too weak to even get up, she didn’t attend. Her children weren’t too familiar with me yet, and so none of them joined. However, now that the children would follow me around even without their mother coming along, I believe the children would still join with or without their mother. So with Sofie +4 that’s already 21 in numbers.

As for Lin, she had confirmed attendance, but needed time to confirm the numbers. You see, her 2 older girls who are already working could not confirm earlier if they can make it on that day. Lin had already mentioned that her 2 boys may not join. Lin plus 3 duaghters = 4. That’s a total of 25.

Yah did join our family day in 2007, but after that she went “angau” and her family went a bit haywire, she missed the event from 2008 to 2010. Well, now she has started working and her children are back with her, she will reappear at this year’s family day. Yah + 4 children. Total now 30.

Another client who just joined last year, Rin, again confirmed her attendance for this year, together with her 2 children. Total 33.

The rest from my list will be newcomers to our family day. There’s Halimah whose youngest son is now already 1 year +. Halimah will be coming with her husband and another child. That’s an additional 3… total 36.

From the north, since we are arranging for a bus from Taiping, this time we have quite a few coming. Aza +2, Jay +3, and a new client whom I have yet to meet, Elli + 3. And this morning I managed to talk to a client I met last year at Taiping Hospital, Ita, and immediately she agreed to join with her youngest child. Her other 3 children are staying in boarding schools. That makes an additional 13, total now 49.

And add to that the latest client referred to me just last Wednesday, Fadil, I now have a total of 50.

I am still waiting for replies from Rozi who had earlier indicated her interest to join but could not confirm just yet. I believe I may be able to get 4 or 5 more of my clients to come. Tomorrow I am going to make another round of calls to those who have yet to confirm.

And based on last year’s attendees, I do hope the other volunteers can get a few more clients to come as well.