The Talk and the 2 year old hiv+ girl

I think it has been quite a while since I was last invited to give a talk to school students. There was an enquiry last year but after that the teacher who called me did not follow up.

So a few weeks ago, when a teacher from a nearby school called me to ask if I’d be able to give a talk to the students of her school, and I said yes, immediately I rummaged through my powerpoint files to choose one suitable for an all-girls school. I realised then that my slides were mostly not updated, especially on the HIV/AIDS statistics.

This morning, accompanied by 2 other volunteers, off I went to the school, which so happened to be the same school where I casted my vote during the recent GE13. I don’t usually mind going alone, but I was told before hand that the number of students attending the talk would be around 300, and so I figured I may need some assistance by one or two of my fellow volunteers. I am also hoping that by following me during my talks, one day they’d be able to give similar talks in future.

The talk went well. The girls seemed attentive enough. Oh of course there were some who weren’t paying attention and a few who may have dozed off during the talk, but overall, the girls did listen. And at the end of the talk, when I started asking questions (to see if they understood whatever I explained during the talk), even the sleepy ones were wide awake. Why? Because I took out small soft toys to give away to those who could give correct answers.

Immediately after the talk (and after being served some light refreshments), I headed straight to the hospital for my clinic duty. I was told there were supposed to be 2 new cases, but I waited and waited and waited… no cases were referred to me. Nearing noon, I went over to the doctor’s room, and the nurse told me that the 2 new cases did not turn up.

Just as I was about to leave, SN told me that Mar had just left their room. Ah yes, Mar. Her 2 year old daughter had recently been diagnosed hiv+ and today was her appointment at the paediatric clinic.

I called Mar. She didn’t answer the phone. Just as I was about to get to the staircase to go down, I met up with Mar. She just came out of the pharmacist’s room, getting some counselling about her daughter’s medication.

We then walked down together, met the little girl, and I gave the girl a Buddy Bear. She was thrilled! And I was happy seeing the little girl’s expression, although deep down inside me, it hurts knowing that the innocent 2 year old has to live with HIV all her life.

I’ll definitely be following up on this girl’s developments.

Good news, bad news

After finding out about the needs of Fuzi’s daughter before the girl goes to a matriculation college later this month, I informed the girl’s sponsor about it. For the record, our sponsorship programme only covers schooling expenses, not further education. But the girl’s sponsor had told me personally before this to inform her should there be any other needs for the girl, although the sponsorship programme is over for her.

As mentioned in my previous posting, within a few hours after updating the girl’s needs on my facebook page, I managed to get RM755 from donors to help the girl out. The amount was enough to cover for the girl’s registration, the family’s transportation to send the girl to the college and to buy the girl’s personal necessities.

The girl still needed a laptop for her studies. I had told her earlier I’d try to find a 2nd hand computer. Then came the good news…. her sponsor finally replied my email, agreeing to transfer a certain amount of money as reward for the girl’s excellent performance for her SPM. The sponsor did specifically mention that she hoped the girl would use it to buy a computer. And when the amount came in, it was more than enough to the girl a brand new laptop.

This morning, after getting the computer from a computer shop, I headed straight to Fuzi’s house to deliver the laptop to the girl. When the girl saw me carrying the box, plus 2 plastic bags of free gifts (computer bag, mouse, coooler), she exclaimed, “Ya Allah! Makcik beli baru ke?! Mesti mahal ni!” I told her it was a reward from her sponsor for the excellent SPM results. The girl was pleasantly surprised. Although I didn’t come up with the money to help this girl and her family out, somehow I felt the satisfaction seeing this girl on her way to a brighter future, insyaaAllah.

Later today when I was at home, I suddenly remembered the family I went to visit in late April… Mar and her family. After Mar’s husband was diagnosed HIV+, Mar got herself tested and found out she was +ve as well. Then all her 3 children were tested. The results weren’t out yet when I went to visit. I wasn’t too worried about her 17 and 19 year old daughter, but as mentioned in my posting about that visit, I was worried about Mar’s 2 year old daughter. I was still hoping the little girl would be spared from the virus.

Today when I called, coincidentally, Mar just got home from Ipoh. She was in Hospital Raja Permaisuri Bainun earlier in the day, at the paediatric clinic, to be exact, with her youngest girl. Paediatric clinic? Uh oh… bad news??

Indeed. The little 2 year old girl too was confirmed to be HIV positive. :(

More house visits

When Fuzi’s daughter called to seek my advice about whether she should accept the offer to a matriculation college, I knew I’d have to pay them a visit. The decision whether to accept or not wasn’t the only problem they have. Financial problem would be the other.

I had advised the girl to accept the offer. The girl’s interest is in accounting and the matriculation offer was for accounting line. By the time I went to visit the family on Wednesday morning, she had accepted the offer online and printed out all the necessary. But nothing further was done. Quite a number of things were needed but they had yet to do anything because they needed money. They needed:

1. RM480 for registration, to be banked in before she registers on 27th May.

2. More baju kurung as the girls are only allowed to wear baju kurung in class at the college. This family seldom goes out for any functions or whatever, and so she only has a few pairs.

3. Transportation for them to go to the matriculation college to send the girl, and for her mother to travel back home.

4. Pocket money for the girl for the first month at least, before she starts getting her allowance.

5. A notebook/netbook computer for the girl to use for her studies. A second-hand one would do.

Somebody had donated RM200 to me to be given to any of my PLHIV families, and so I gave that money first to the girl to enable her to start buying whatever necessary. The moment I got home, I updated this info on my FB wall, and within a few hours I managed to collect RM755 to help them out. At least her registration fee and pocket money are covered. For the record, our Children Education Fund & Education Sponsorship programme only covers schooling expenses, not further education. And so I had to seek help for this girl using my personal capacity, not through Buddies.

This morning I went to visit Lin. It’s been quite a while since I last went to visit her at home. She was alone at home – none of her children were around. The eldest now works in KL, the second is in her final year overseas, the 3rd was at work, the 4th stays with his friends, the 5th now has a temporary job while waiting for the results of his application to IKM, and the 6th was in school, now in form 4.

With none of her children around, Lin could speak openly to me about her problems. No longer bothered by her ex-husband, Mr Darling, Lin’s problem now is her youngest daughter, the 16 year old. The girl seems to get more and more stubborn each day, and Lin’s main worry is that she likes to go out with boys. She’s supposed to go to school by bus, but since the bus picks them up at the end of the road instead of right in front of the house, Lin usually doesn’t go out to check. She took for granted her daughter would take the bus, otherwise how else was she supposed to get to school? But her brother once saw a boy picking her up on a motorbike to send her to school. There were a few other instances when the brother saw his younger sister in town on a motorbike with a boy. Every time Lin scolded her daughter, the girl always answered back.

I am however happy about the change in Lin’s 5th child, the boy who sat for his SPM last year. He was really never into the academic line, and so all he was interested to do after his SPM was to find a job. But his interest had always been in welding, and so I suggested to him to take up welding as a proper course at any of vocational training colleges/institute. At first he was a bit reluctant, but after his older sisters joined in to coax him, he now seems very determined to take up a proper course in welding, applied for a certificate programme, and already thinking about continuing up to diploma level after he completes his certificate level course. Now, that’s progress enough for me.

After Lin’s house, I headed to Aini’s house. Her eldest daughter so happens to be back home too. Long leave for the polytechnic where the girl is continuing her studies now. Aini had lost weight. She used to have about the same weight as mine, but this time she has gone down to only 45 kg. Even the doctor got worried about her weight loss.

The lady who used to pay Aini to take care of her son while she was at work, now has quit her job to be a stay-at-home mom, and so Aini no longer gets an income from taking care of the boy. She now is looking around for anything to do, just to enable her to get some extra income for her family in addition to the monthly welfare aid she gets. I asked her if she’d like to sew our Buddy Bears for a minimal payment. You see, the couple who had been making the bears for free all these years are getting older, and we haven’t got any contingency plans in case the couple decides to stop making the bears. So during our last Board meeting, we agreed to try and get any of our clients to sew the bears for us, for a minimal amount. That way not only do we get another source to get the Buddy Bears  done, we also get to help our clients to earn some extra income for themselves.

Aini seemed very interested. She gets something to do, gets paid for it, and the best part is she doesn’t have to leave home to do so.

Let’s see how it goes.

Visiting my clients…

A call came in from an unfamiliar number earlier this week, asking for Kak Afizah. Initially I thought it could be one of my clients who had maybe changed her phone number. Turned out the lady who called got my number from the nurses at the HIV clinic in Ipoh. Her appointment at the hospital wasn’t on a Wednesday, so she was not referred to Buddies because we only send our volunteers to the hospital on Wednesdays. Seeing that she may be needing help, the nurses at the HIV clinic encouraged her to call me.

And so she did. From the conversation we had, I was told that her husband, with a CD4 of only 2, was rather weak and had not been working since beginning of the year when he had to be hospitalised. The lady herself, Mar, just found out that she too had been infected. They have 3 children, the older two are 19 and 17 respectively, but her main worry is her youngest daughter, who is only 2 years old.

It was quite difficult to assess her situation by phone, especially since I had never met her before, so I asked if I could visit her at home. She welcomed the idea. So I arranged to visit her on Saturday. After finding out where she lived, while I knew where the area was (I have another client staying within the same area), I also knew it wouldn’t be easy to find her house just based on the address. So I told her that once I got to the foot of the hill (her kampong is at a hilly area), I’d give her a call.

After fetching a trainee volunteer at the Buddies Center this morning, we headed straight to Mar’s kampong. As we got to a kindergarten, I decided to stop and call Mar. Mar told me her daughter would be coming down on a motorbike to meet me and show me the way to their house. But Mar also asked me, “Tapi akak berani ke bawak kereta sampai rumah saya?”

Me: Kereta boleh sampai depan rumah ke tak?
Mar: Boleh, trapi setengah orang tak berani. Kalau akak jenis brutal, boleh.”

So yeah, I decided to become “brutal” today. I saw a girl on a motorbike coming my way (I told Mar to tell her daughter to look for a Kenari), and when I asked if she was Mar’s daughter, she nodded. And so, I just followed her going up the hill on the narrow tarred roads. It wasn’t too bad, I didn’t really have to be “brutal”. But when we almost reached their house, we had to go down one steep hill and it was there that Mar’s daughter looked back to see if I dared drive my car down the hill. No hal lah! No problem for my Kenari.

Mar seemed like a very pleasant person. Her husband was still rather weak, but according to Mar, his condition had improved a whole lot compared to earlier in the year. He is still however, still on leave from work (he works as a security guard) and beginning this month, although he has not been terminated from work, it will be unpaid leave for him as he has already used up his medical leave.

I was quite worried looking at Mar’s 2 year old daughter. Mar did mention that her daughter has eczema, but the little girl’s skin condition looked quite bad. Mar had only found out about her own HIV just recently. When she was pregnant with this girl, blood test did not indicate she was positive, and so she delivered the girl through normal delivery, and even breastfed the girl for 2 whole years. The girl had been brought for HIV testing, but the results will only be known later when Mar goes for another appointment at Ipoh GH in about 10 days time.

I do hope the little girl is spared from infection, although frankly speaking, I am rather worried.

Mar’s eldest daughter is 19. When asked if she’d like to continue her studies, she was reluctant. Even when I recommended short term skill training courses, she didn’t seem too keen. But she just got herself a job at a newly opened factory, let’s see how it goes from there. Mar’s second daughter is in form 5 this year, and according to Mar, the second daughter seemed more interested in her studies, and may want to further her studies after her SPM. I really hope she will.

While I was at Mar’s house, a text message came in from Hana, informing me that additional fees need to be paid to her 2 children’s school. Both her kids are under our sponsorship programme, so I didn’t have to wait for the Board’s approval to pay for their school fees. Hana’s house is within the same area as Mar’s. I didn’t bother to include a visit to Mar’s house earlier in my schedule for today as Hana usually works on Saturdays, but when she sent that text message while I was already in the area, I decided to call her to find out if she was home. Receiving a reply in the affirmative, I decided to straight away head to her house. I had not been visiting her ever since her new house (at the same old spot) was built.

Glad to see her stay in a much better house. Her old house (her mother’s house actually, she stays with her mother) was in such poor condition that at one time, the floor gave in and Hana fell through it, breaking her arm. They then rented a house nearby until they could get help to rebuild the old house. Finally when her father got his EPF, the money was used to build a new house in place of the old one. (I’ve only met the father once, he has 2 wives and most of the time when I visit, he’d be at his other wife’s house)

I didn’t stay long at Hana’s house. After passing her the money for her children’s school fees, I headed back to Ipoh. As I was driving, a call came in from another unfamiliar number. It turned out to be a long lost client of mine, Zu, who had been missing her hospital appointments for quite some time. The last time I met her, her daughter was just about a year old. Zu asked if she could meet up with me to discuss her problem. She was waiting at a specific place and she said she’d wait there until I came. I was already out, so I might as well straight away go and see her. While driving, I wondered what her problem was. She used to have problems with her mother before as her mother didn’t quite like Zu’s boyfriend. She nagged, and fed up with her mother’s nagging, Zu decided to move out and followed her boyfriend.

Once I reached the place indicated by Zu, I couldn’t see her around. Just as I was about to call her, she knocked on my car window. I told her to come in. She had lost weight and looked unwell. I asked her what her problem was…

To cut the whole story short, the boyfriend that she followed was a drug addict. He somehow got her involved in drugs as well. She tried to quit drugs by buying methadone, but when she doesn’t have enough money and asked her boyfriend to help her out, he told her he’d only buy for her drugs, not methadone. Finally Zu decided to leave him and now she’s back at her parent’s house. She told me she wanted to get proper treatment. She no longer wants to be addicted to drugs and she wants to get proper treatment for her HIV too.

We Buddies are no experts in dealing with drug cases, and so I couldn’t assure her of help straight away. But I told her I’d try to arrange for something as soon as possible. I also told her, she must be strong enough if she really wants to change. Just to be sure she wasn’t lying to me when she said she’s back with her parents, I decided to send her home. Indeed, she was telling the truth. Her daughter, now already 4 years old, was playing outside the house, supervised by her grandma, Zu’s mother. I just went down for a while to salam with her mother, then off I headed home.

What started off as a visit to a new client’s home, ended up with visiting 2 other old clients as well…

Sponsorship Assessment Visit

It’s been quite a while since my last sponsorship assessment visit. While there were one or two recommendations by my volunteers, since the recommended clients do not allow us to visit at home, we could only consider the children for their back-to-school expenses at the beginning of the year. For the Education Sponsorship for Children, one of the requirements is that at least 2 Buddies need to visit client’s home to assess the family’s situation. If we’re going to get individuals from the public to sponsor a particular child, the least we can do is to get a better picture of the family’s situation at home. Otherwise, anyone can come to us saying they need help with their children’s education, whereas their situation aren’t so bad.

There had been cases where we decided not to consider the family for sponsorship. While we do believe the family wasn’t well to do, but there were other cases needing the sponsorship more. They still do get help under our CEF to cover the back-to-school expenses, but we don’t cover for pocket money, tuition fees and other monthly expenses.

Anyway, this morning I went for a sponsorship assessment visit together with 2 other volunteers including a trainee volunteer. The area was the only place outside of Perak covered by Buddies because HIV cases from there are usually referred to HRPB Ipoh.

I had brought Jamilah and her children shopping for their back-to-school expenses late last year. School holidays were coming to an end then, but Jamilah had yet to buy her children’s schooling needs. Jamilah is a 56 year old HIV positive single mother, depending on welfare aid and her small food stall by the roadside to support her 3 children. Just enough to pay for her house rental, utilities and food for the family. But when the children come home asking for money to pay for various fees etc in school, she’d have to delay the payment until she could save enough money.

What I like about Jamilah is that she doesn’t simply rely on sympathy and financial aid. She never uses her HIV and her age as excuse for not being able to do this and that. As a matter of fact, she’s a lot more hardworking than many younger clients of mine. Based on the family’s present situation, the children do indeed qualify to be considered for sponsorship.

I got home and immediately approached a few friends who had earlier indicated their interest to sponsor the education of children from our PLHIV families. And the answer I got from them was positive.

So yes, all 3 children now have sponsors to cover for their schooling needs, including some monthly pocket money…

Thank you sponsors!